Kelly Preston has passed away

[Irayam]

Someday, I too, May feel like you.
But not now. Not today.

I understand that. And you’re right. Someday you'll be less angry. Everyone goes through these stages after being betrayed.

 

[Deleted member 51]

Sheila
Thank you for your understanding.
I have read many of your posts. You have done a great job healing from the cult betrayal and I see you often reaching out lending positive support. I will heal and hope to be like you someday. I would love to know what happened to you, how you got out and what did you do to help you heal?
A big hug to you for being so compassionate and caring. You have done the work and give hope to newbies who come out of the cult shattered. You truly are a valuable asset to the ex cult community. You get it.

That's very sweet, Oracle, but you give me far too much credit.

Years ago, when I first found the ex network, I raged on the Internet about those that scammed me and others and was so frustrated with my ex-husband when he did not get medical care that I posted things I never should have. The active Scientologists then copied and pasted my posts, even though the Admin deleted them at my request. I've even had someone pretend to be me on the Internet and twist the things I previously wrote on the earlier exscn forum.

So it's only from my own bloopers that I know. And I really do know how you feel. Actually, seeing it from the other side makes it clear to me the various posts I wrote that got others upset.

A lot of former Scientologists have this idea of saying anything to anyone anywhere, and the truth is, that just doesn't work out well IRL.

But I am still kind of a bitch sometimes. Ask anyone. It's just human nature. You caught me on a good day.

My story is on exscn. I'll repost it again here sometime, if you're interested. I was in the SO 9 years, spent the last year in hell on the RPF. Was married and had a child in the SO who is out and doing fine. My ex died of cancer at an early age. Smoker, ex Sea Org.

I don't think anyone who has been in a long time actually ever completely gets rid of every last bit of the distorted thinking, but we get through the most important stuff that hurts us. After that, it's just gravy.

Hang in there. Everything will be JUST FINE. Just remember, treat the Internet like anything publicly posted is forever.

 

[The Oracle]

That's very sweet, Oracle, but you give me far too much credit.

Years ago, when I first found the ex network, I raged on the Internet about those that scammed me and others and was so frustrated with my ex-husband when he did not get medical care that I posted things I never should have. The active Scientologists then copied and pasted my posts, even though the Admin deleted them at my request. I've even had someone pretend to be me on the Internet and twist the things I previously wrote on the earlier exscn forum.

So it's only from my own bloopers that I know. And I really do know how you feel. Actually, seeing it from the other side makes it clear to me the various posts I wrote that got others upset.

A lot of former Scientologists have this idea of saying anything to anyone anywhere, and the truth is, that just doesn't work out well IRL.

But I am still kind of a bitch sometimes. Ask anyone. It's just human nature. You caught me on a good day.

My story is on exscn. I'll repost it again here sometime, if you're interested. I was in the SO 9 years, spent the last year in hell on the RPF. Was married and had a child in the SO who is out and doing fine. My ex died of cancer at an early age. Smoker, ex Sea Org.

I don't think anyone who has been in a long time actually ever completely gets rid of every last bit of the distorted thinking, but we get through the most important stuff that hurts us. After that, it's just gravy.

Hang in there. Everything will be JUST FINE. Just remember, treat the Internet like anything publicly posted is forever.

Thank you for this post. I appreciate what you have to say and how you say it.
To Stratty and “exbrit“ Who poops on my posts and “ likes” Strattys hate posts Toward me
just read your posts to me after you take a break and come out of your anger and hate
you can learn a lot from people like Sheila.
Stratty says things like “ no one is here to make you feel bad, you brought that on yourself” .
That makes no sense. You are mad at me because we had a misunderstanding.
Do you not have the ability to forgive another member of this group?
I told you how I assumed something about you and then fixed it
why do you hang on to the hate?
It is “reactive triggered hate” that has nothing to do with me. obviously, you have not even read my posts.
“Exbrit” - what is your deal? Why the ?

 

[stratty]

Calling Kettle Black again Stratty?

Please calm down Stratty.
You are keeping it going and you don’t like it when I stand up for myself.
Your reaction does not fit the situation at all. You are way out of control.

Maybe just take a time out and address what is really bothering you.
You don’t need to lose your mind and create a shit show so you too can get banned.
just ask to get banned if you can’t control yourself.
that is an option
there are many ways to solve problem and look how you are choosing to solve yours

First, my name is stratty, not Stratty.

Second, if you are too stupid to realise that when somebody sends you a private message, (and the original message I sent you was one of support) they expect it to stay private. They don't expect the jist of it to be posted on the message board. They are called Private Messages for a reason, and you can hardly blame them from getting angry. But that's all in the past.

For some reason you seem to be obsessed with the idea that I am still angry about it. I am not. What is pissing me off is your constant patronising. I don't need to calm down, I don't 'have a problem', and nothing is bothering me except I've got a half-wit on my case to deal with when I could be doing other, more pleasurable things with my time.

So please, the PM fiasco is over. Just stop patronising me OK? Unless you post something on the board I feel I need to respond to, (unlikely) you won't hear another peep out of me again.

 

[The Oracle]

First, my name is stratty, not Stratty.

Second, if you are too stupid to realise that when somebody sends you a private message, (and the original message I sent you was one of support) they expect it to stay private. They don't expect the jist of it to be posted on the message board. They are called Private Messages for a reason, and you can hardly blame them from getting angry. But that's all in the past.

For some reason you seem to be obsessed with the idea that I am still angry about it. I am not. What is pissing me off is your constant patronising. I don't need to calm down, I don't 'have a problem', and nothing is bothering me except I've got a half-wit on my case to deal with when I could be doing other, more pleasurable things with my time.

So please, the PM fiasco is over. Just stop patronising me OK? Unless you post something on the board I feel I need to respond to, (unlikely) you won't hear another peep out of me again.

you need to read Your posts
they don’t match what you proclaim
maybe get in touch with your feelings and own them
I already explained my mistake With the PM and apologized
you wont accept it
i don’t really care if you respond or not to anything I have to say
it makes absolutely no difference to me
you are not someone I find helpful here
too bitter

this is a really helpful article for newbies if you find yourself invalidated on this board
and not allowed to feel the way you feel today as you travel on the journey of recovery

What Is Emotional Invalidation? Emotional Effects | ReGain

Emotional invalidation can be extremely painful and difficult to deal with. Get support from a licensed therapist for emotional invalidation today.

www.regain.us

Also , a good friend, not a cult survivor but a narcissist survivor who recovered from an abusive relationship with a Narcissist gave these tidbits that help:

“Observe don’t Absorb”
“ Let Go or be Dragged”

 

[exbritscino]

My sincerest condolences to JT and friends and family of Kelly Preston.

Out of all the well known celebrities in scientology I think that, from what I have heard, JT is one of the more compassionate and nicer people.

It's very sad that his wife died rather young. Whether expert medical help was sought too late because of her beliefs that scientology would find a 'cure', I really don't know.

I seem to remember that there was some policy(?) written that if a person has cancer then they need to seek medical advice and treatment before scientologys 'spiritual enhancement'. Can anyone here verify that?

At my old mission a woman died of breast cancer. This was after I had walked, but I used to work with her brother so regularly received updates on her progress. I got the impression that she could have been saved if treatment had been prompt. I also got the impression that she was being persuaded by the mission members to have little or nothing to do with medical care and persevere with scientologys 'cures'.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer at the beginning of the year. Since then I have had two lots of chemotherapy to initially shrink the growth, and an operation to remove the cancerous growth. Next week I will be commencing my fourth cycle of chemotherapy since the operation in order to make absolutely sure that all cancer cells will be killed off. Apparently cancer tests do not always detect minute traces.....

The NHS and my local hospital have been absolutely brilliant. Especially in the current Covid 19 pandemic. All the NHS staff deserve a medal.

The result is that I should establish a full recovery.

The point of the last 3 paragraphs is that if I was still in scientology, then by now I'd probably be beyond help. Or already dead!

My message to any scientologists who have some ailment that doesn't improve, or gets worse, is for your sakes GET. IT. CHECKED. OUT. BY. MEDICAL. PROFESSIONALS.

I can assure you that auditing and assists will NOT cure cancer. Many have tried and there has not been ONE person who has succeeded.

Tragically Kelly Preston is likely to be the latest result of scientologys failures........

 

[The Oracle]

My sincerest condolences to JT and friends and family of Kelly Preston.

Out of all the well known celebrities in scientology I think that, from what I have heard, JT is one of the more compassionate and nicer people.

It's very sad that his wife died rather young. Whether expert medical help was sought too late because of her beliefs that scientology would find a 'cure', I really don't know.

I seem to remember that there was some policy(?) written that if a person has cancer then they need to seek medical advice and treatment before scientologys 'spiritual enhancement'. Can anyone here verify that?

At my old mission a woman died of breast cancer. This was after I had walked, but I used to work with her brother so regularly received updates on her progress. I got the impression that she could have been saved if treatment had been prompt. I also got the impression that she was being persuaded by the mission members to have little or nothing to do with medical care and persevere with scientologys 'cures'.

I know way too many Scientologists that die of cancer. Many OT’s. They die relatively young too. In fact, I never met a real clear or OT as LRH described but I witnessed a lot of death within the tiny group. My bet there’s a correlation with stress, Scientology, and cancer

 

[Karakorum]

I know way too many Scientologists that die of cancer. Many OT’s. They die relatively young too. In fact, I never met a real clear or OT as LRH described but I witnessed a lot of death within the tiny group. My bet there’s a correlation with stress, Scientology, and cancer

That is also my experience. Of the people my age from SO and staff that already died... pretty much every single one died of cancer. This includes both my sister and my significant other from back in the day.

 

[The Oracle]

I know way too many Scientologists that die of cancer. Many OT’s. They die relatively young too. In fact, I never met a real clear or OT as LRH described but I witnessed a lot of death within the tiny group. My bet there’s a correlation with stress, Scientology, and cancer

I personally know 6 OT’s, public staff that died of cancer in the past few years. From a tiny group
Prior to joining Scientology, I knew 1 person in my 38 years of Wog life that died of cancer
No suicides
1 early death of strange circumstances
Scientology is loaded with death and destruction

 

[Xenu Xenu Xenu]

I personally know 6 OT’s, public staff that died of cancer in the past few years. From a tiny group
Prior to joining Scientology, I knew 1 person in my 38 years of Wog life that died of cancer
No suicides
1 early death of strange circumstances
Scientology is loaded with death and destruction

The Scandal of Scientology / Chapter 2: The Confessionals

Apparently, it's not only the preclear that has gotten sexually stimulated in such an atmosphere. One male auditor wrote on his preclear's file that she was "sexy as hell."{14} In another case, the Reverend William J. Fisk (a Scientology Reverend) was conducting his Scientology class in Seattle when Russell Edward Johnson, thirty six, a carpenter and building contractor entered the room.

According to the Seattle Times, Fisk shouted "This man is going to shoot me. Go get a cop. Please someone get a cop." But his plea was too late. With one bullet in his chest, fired by Russell Johnson, the Reverend was dead.{15}

During the murder trial it came out that Reverend Fisk, the one who was killed, was not only having an affair with Johnson's wife, but had revealed the fact to Johnson himself, boasting that Johnson's wife was completely under his control.

Russell Johnson, Reverend William Fisk. During, trial, Fisk, Johnson's wife, Johnson himself, Johnson's, control., affair, fact, | Scientology Lies

www.scientology-lies.com

: September 10, 1963
Russell Johnson shoots and kills Scientology Reverend William Fisk. During the murder trial, it came out that Fisk was not only having an affair with Johnson's wife, but had revealed the fact to Johnson himself, boasting that Johnson's wife was completely under his control. The wife also told her husband that she had been having an affair, and in fact, sued him for divorce on the day before the murder. Scientology claims Johnson infiltrated Scientology at the behest of the FDA.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At around this time, another young woman began causing problems for the Commodore. Susan Meister, a twenty-three-year-old from Colorado, had joined the crew of the Apollo in February 1971, having been introduced to Scientology by friends while she was working in San Francisco. When she arrived on the ship she was a typically eager and optimistic convert and wrote home frequently, urging her family to 'get into' Scientology.

https://www.xenu-directory.net/mirrors/www.whyaretheydead.net/susan_meister/index.html

She once more urged her mother to read Hubbard's books, and take Scientology courses. Ten days after writing the letter, Susan was dead... According to her father, Susan was "lying on a bunk, wearing the new dress her mother had made for her, her arms crossed with a long barreled revolver on her breast. A bullet hole was in the center of her forehead and blood was running out of the corners of her mouth. I began to wonder how Susan could possibly shoot herself in the center of her forehead with the long barreled revolver. She would have had to hold it with both hands at arms length. There were no powder burns on her forehead, which certainly would have been the case if the gun was against her forehead as it would have to be to shoot herself as the photograph appeared."



And that is only two examples, going back quite a few years ago.

As the French say, "The more things change....."

 

[The_Fixer]

So you want to keep it going? Ok!

I certainly understand how you feel. I am not there yet. Someday, I too, May feel like you.
But not now. Not today. Today I hate the celebrities that I trusted. Today, I have no empathy for them when they experience life as life is. When you play with fire like Scientology and refuse to look, you get burned. Scientology kills.

By the way, I am trying to heal from my life blowing apart Due to believing all the gimmicks and propaganda Scientology fed So that I would DO Scientology. That was a very bad decision. I did not have all of the information When I got in. Nothing was on the internet. What was there, Scientology went to unbelievable lengths to confuse and diffuse. It worked because I trusted.
i trusted John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Tom Cruise, Ann Archer and even Leah Remini. I trusted Scientology was safe.

I don’t believe my comments about Kelly Preston deserved For me to be attacked and name called. That was no justification to be treated like I had committed crimes against humanity.
Maybe you can turn some of that empathy towards ex cult members who have left so they can heal rather than attack, shame and try to make Them feel Bad.

Perhaps a little understanding that would go along the lines of...

“ I understand how you can hate these celebrities Oracle. Especially if their unwavering support caused you to make decisions about you involvement into the cult and to stay years longer than had they grown a set of balls and looked and then done something about it. Go ahead and vent here. That is why we are here. To help each other. It takes time. You were suppressed, invalidated and nullified in the cult when you tried to express obvious concerns.
Feel free to talk about how you feel. We all understand there are not a lot of people who understand...but we do. We were victims of the fraud and deceit too ”

But some of you would rather some how make me feel bad For expressing my feelings today.

well, I don’t feel bad. I feel sorry for you that you are unable to truly help people here. That would suck. I hope I can learn something valuable here so that I could help others when they are suffering from the mind fucking they got in Scientology. This is a good lesson so thank you.

That is a shame you have not honed some compassionate skills since you left the cult.
This place can be rather viscous.

Believe me, I get where you are coming from.

I'm simply saying (and maybe not all that well) that you have been coming across like an active scientologist with a hostile attitude towards those who don't fit your way of thinking. Not intended as a putdown as such. I guess I was hoping you could see that. Sorry if I offended you there, that wasn't really my intent. Maybe I should have worded it better, but I didn't, so that's pretty much it.

What I was seeing was that you have jumped from one side of the fence to the other and brought all the baggage from the cult with you. Most of us have done just that and took some time to figure it out. Some never have that we have seen around here on occasions. Everyone has their journey to figure out. The first thing I guess we needed to learn was to drop the policy of "Always attack, never defend" which is often more of a hindrance than a help in recovery.

My comments were also not about what the others had to say, that's up to them to work out with you. I was only talking about how I regard JT and KP as human beings (albeit flawed, like the rest of us) and family tragedies are human things whether you are a cultie or not. We all feel things in a similar fashion. There are very few people I wish any harm to. I don't particularly like the Travoltas for what they are and hold even less regard for Tom Cruise, but we were where they are minus the influence.

Leah Remini was in the same position until she flipped the switch. She is viewed much more differently by us nowadays.

Marty Rathbun was a similar story as well, but he seemed to have flipped back again. He doesn't seem to be a particularly nice bloke though. If his wife Monique fell victim to a situation like Kelly did, I'd still feel sympathy for him, but only on the human side of things. He is still a target for what he represents, same as JT. They both hold some influence of people because of who they are and their celebrity (of sorts) status.

Miscavige is another story. It would take a lot to see any redemption for him and I doubt that would ever happen. The harm he has done and organised is unforgivable. But who knows what is around the corner?

 

[Riddick]

I thought the real enemy is Hubbard and his bullshit rhetoric, throw in DM and his lawyers as well. I suppose there are a few other SO members that have taken advantage of the bullshit, like Sherman.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

I suspect some people believe ESMB is some kind of hand-holding therapy board where we are all supposed to produce empathy and perhaps even sympathy for anyone that feels they have been damaged by the cult, but it isn't. It's just a message board full of individuals with something in common, a message board that very often does help people to move themselves past any cult upset they have, but also offends people from time to time because we are not therapists and (most of us) are not trying to be, we left all that pretentious twaddle behind when we left the cult.

There are many warm, intelligent and empathetic people here but those same people have off days too, some are unwell and say things that a therapist would not be expected to say (well, not if they wanted to make any money anyway) others have the occasional day when they feel snarly, post something snarky and perhaps regret it later (or not).

When you have known someone for a long time (as many of us have) I suppose it comes naturally to cut them some slack when they're being (ahem) a bit crabby because we also know the positive, caring, funny and often very cool side of them, we don't have to constantly correct their 'wrong thinking' ... we may even agree with them.

I believe anyone posting here needs to be prepared for the honesty and directness of the other members if they are going to truly enjoy it and hopefully benefit from the camaraderie.

 

[My1stAmendmentRight]

I meant what I said in my latest post but it had nothing at all to do with TO. It was actually in response to the new arrival (post 106). She/he had a seriously snarky siggy line (it was quickly removed so I altered my post too). I usually welcome newbies but didn't feel the urge to do that at all with this one.

The original siggy line said 'You will respect me and I will respect you but if you don't respect me you will feel my wrath, and it aint pretty baby".

I don't respond well to crap like that, never have and never will.

My apologies hun. I'm sorry you saw that. It was the middle of the night and I was playing with signature lines. Right after I posted it, I looked at it again and realized it was terribly "snarky". I took it down immediately (within minutes). Then I read your post and thought, "Oh drat!", someone had seen it. You see, I had gotten some bad news yesterday evening. A friend of mine was in a terrible accident and I was in a "mood".

Do you like my new sig line better?

 

[I told you I was trouble]

My apologies hun. I'm sorry you saw that. It was the middle of the night and I was playing with signature lines. Right after I posted it, I looked at it again and realized it was terribly "snarky". I took it down immediately (within minutes). Then I read your post and thought, "Oh drat!", someone had seen it. You see, I had gotten some bad news yesterday evening. A friend of mine was in a terrible accident and I was in a "mood".

Do you like my new sig line better?

I do ... and I like this post even more.

It's all good.

 

[My1stAmendmentRight]

I do ... and I like this post even more.

It's all good.

Phew! Okay good. Thank you for your understanding.

 

[Dotey OT]

Phew! Okay good. Thank you for your understanding.

Welcome !!!

 

[The Oracle]

I suspect some people believe ESMB is some kind of hand-holding therapy board where we are all supposed to produce empathy and perhaps even sympathy for anyone that feels they have been damaged by the cult, but it isn't. It's just a message board full of individuals with something in common, a message board that very often does help people to move themselves past any cult upset they have, but also offends people from time to time because we are not therapists and (most of us) are not trying to be, we left all that pretentious twaddle behind when we left the cult.

There are many warm, intelligent and empathetic people here but those same people have off days too, some are unwell and say things that a therapist would not be expected to say (well, not if they wanted to make any money anyway) others have the occasional day when they feel snarly, post something snarky and perhaps regret it later (or not).

When you have known someone for a long time (as many of us have) I suppose it comes naturally to cut them some slack when they're being (ahem) a bit crabby because we also know the positive, caring, funny and often very cool side of them, we don't have to constantly correct their 'wrong thinking' ... we may even agree with them.

I believe anyone posting here needs to be prepared for the honesty and directness of the other members if they are going to truly enjoy it and hopefully benefit from the camaraderie.

Well, I do get that Trouble. This is not a place to meet friends who also want to recover from Scientology.
You guys have this board locked up tighter than a drum and if a newbie does not post the correct words, a handful of you go after them . One better post the correct “reaction” to a cult member demise or look out. My reaction was perfectly normal given the circumstances. A poster went rabid on me and it was not normal.
Like bullies on an ex cult schoolyard. You went after “My 1st Amendment Right” because you didn’t like her signature line while she was creating it? Are you the “Board’s “word police”? Just leave people alone and let them be where they are at so they can heal. My guess, you are one of a few who run this board. You run people out if they don’t toe the line. You can come across friendly and have to me, but your post ^^^ is rude and mean. Shiela, what did you like about it?
There are old time posters from the old board who have not grown or recovered from Scientology. Confused and bitter, they spray their unhealed minds filled with bitterness and confusion on the newbie who is trying to get support and recover.
They keep others from recovering.
They inflict more damage to the ex member trying to straighten out what happened to them.
This board is not a safe place.
I won’t have any expectations here and I will tell newbies to stay away.

 

[Zertel]

Some years ago someone posted a topic called "How to trek the Great Middle Path" and offered a half dozen "suggestions". Here are two of them.

Modulate the need to do or say with abilities to observe, to share and to let be

Recognize the oft-intruding, peculiar notion that you have arrived and let it pass

 

[Dotey OT]

Well, I do get that Trouble. This is not a place to meet friends who also want to recover from Scientology.
You guys have this board locked up tighter than a drum and if a newbie does not post the correct words, a handful of you go after them . One better post the correct “reaction” to a cult member demise or look out. My reaction was perfectly normal given the circumstances. A poster went rabid on me and it was not normal.
Like bullies on an ex cult schoolyard. You went after “My 1st Amendment Right” because you didn’t like her signature line while she was creating it? Are you the “Board’s “word police”? Just leave people alone and let them be where they are at so they can heal. My guess, you are one of a few who run this board. You run people out if they don’t toe the line. You can come across friendly and have to me, but your post ^^^ is rude and mean. Shiela, what did you like about it?
There are old time posters from the old board who have not grown or recovered from Scientology. Confused and bitter, they spray their unhealed minds filled with bitterness and confusion on the newbie who is trying to get support and recover.
They keep others from recovering.
They inflict more damage to the ex member trying to straighten out what happened to them.
This board is not a safe place.
I won’t have any expectations here and I will tell newbies to stay away.

I was new to the old board, just having been out since 2017. I spent most of my time watching and reading. When I felt like I had to blurt out my experience, I joined in. I did not join in on everything. I did feel there were cliques. I know that occurs most everywhere and in most everything. It's not a complaint.

I was not here in the early days, it must have been amazing!! I was still a card carrying kool-aid drinker then.

I think that I had the thought that we had all gone through the same experience, but everyone's experience is a bit different. I was not in the S.O., well I actually was for a short time. I have heard the comment here "I missed the 80's", and I know that my experience wasn't the same as his. I missed the mid and late 90's, and early 2000's. I missed my son growing up, mostly.

I have had my moments where I have had to retreat and stay off. I still do. The other day I posted something and it was misunderstood. I thought I was showing how I felt and maybe knew what others had been through, that was not the case.

In general, I am not the person that I was before the cult. I am better in many ways, I am also worse in some ways. I need to moderate myself more than ever. I can and do get myself in trouble with the ones that I love. I have less tolerance. But I can see more than ever. I have viewpoints that tend to be correct. But I also have a hard edge.

One of the things that I have learned is that it is really hard to interpret the written word versus the spoken word. Some here do a better job at writing than I do.

I am three years into the process of shaking off about thirty dedicated years in, and about 50+ PC folders. The last bit was a four month sec check/FPRD extravaganza that WOKE ME THE FUCK UP!! While I have some form of PTSD from that, I would not trade it for anything. It has resulted in at least three people being out, not including myself, with four others in progress. Fingers crossed.

I am not here for friendship, but I bet some here could be a good friend. I think for the most part, we are trying to get along with it.