2024 Scientology Predictions !

[ILove2Lurk]

~ #2
Time magazine will do a cover story on scientology management in March.
This will probably be timed for the new exposé dropping in April . . .

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[ILove2Lurk]

~ #3
A new exposé hits the book stores in April.

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[ILove2Lurk]

~ #4
Followed by an HBO mini-series in August, based on the best-selling book..

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[Type4_PTS]

My 2024 predictions:

1) Danny Masterson will be appointed Executive Director International of Criminon with Lee Baca the Deputy ED, and together they boom the stats into Highest Ever ranges!

2) A reporter from National Geographic wakes up one morning with a horsehead in his bed after publicly comparing the Mafia with Scientology.

3) Some grammatical errors are found in all the basic LRH books recently re-released. An investigation reveals that additional SP transcriptionists have been located. Scientologists are ordered to buy new sets of the Basic Book packages that have now been corrected.

4) David Miscavige receives word from someone within the Dept of Justice that the FBI is planning a raid on multiple CoS properties and has an arrest warrant with his name on it. Without informing anyone within International Management of this development he retires to Bulgravia (in a secret location) after appointing Shelly Miscavige as the new COB.

5) Multiple CoS officials are indicted by a grand jury for Obstruction of Justice and other crimes.

 

[Elongated Cupboard]

OT IX will finally be released in 2024. On the clearing course you realized you mocked up your own reactive mind. On OTVIII you realized your past lives actually belonged to your BTs. On OT IX you realize you actually mocked up all your BTs. The cognition on this level is 'It Was All Bullshit'. The charge is blown by imagining a grinning LRH pointing directly at you and saying 'Ha Ha!'

OT XV you realize LRH mocked up Scientology all along.

 

[Alex P. Keaton]

John Travolta will repeatedly interrupt the LRH Birthday Event in March with terrible episodes of coughing. John will excuse himself and go backstage and drink the special bottled water reserved for David "Punch Cuss Kick Slap" Miscavige.

When the tiny tyrant finds out about this after the event, he makes John pay for the bottle of water but does NOT verbally or physically abuse John -- but everybody knows Miscavige is very, VERY upset about this. Miscavige vows to find out the "why" behind Travolta's obvious PTS condition.

The "why" will eventually be found. The "why" is the enormous codpiece Travolta wore in "Battlefield Earth". While it assured us of Travolta's manhood and OBVIOUS HETEROSEXUALITY, it was made with asbestos from the Freewinds. Travolta kept the codpiece in his house after filming was complete, and when the outer and inner layers of the garment deteriorated over time, the friable asbestos became airborne and got into Travolta's lungs.

Travolta will be allowed to use his "wog" insurance and get the best medical care money can buy. Sadly, my crystal ball does not tell me whether John will survive.

 

[Alex P. Keaton]

Steven Seagal will fly to Moscow under the guise of helping Vladimir Putin flatten Ukraine. In a surprise move, he will use his martial arts moves to assassinate Putin and take over the leadership of the Russian Federation.

At first, Seagal will be busy managing the "special military operation" in Ukraine but will soon enthusiastically support Scientology's presence in the country. Of course, Seagall wants to classify Scientology as a business and tax away all of their money, and, of course, David "Punch Cuss Kick Slap" Miscavige wants to keep Scientologists' money for himself.

Davey makes plans to move to Moscow, but soon realizes that he does not like temperatures of negative thirty Celsius (negative 22 degrees Fahrenheit). As much as he wants to consider Moscow his "Bulgravia", he realizes his slaves won't be useful if they freeze to death. Davey won't pay the heating bill for his slaves (just as he won't pay for air conditioning in LA or Clearwater berthing areas). He may be rich, but he is also cheap. And drunk.

(Besides, Russian infrastructure for heating is not very good, and even Drunk Davey knows this. Obtaining heat will take people away from valuable course time.)

 

[ILove2Lurk]

~



Prediction: Script and poster art gets leaked June 2024,
one year before movie release. Cruise goes ballistic.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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[Mamie Glutz]

Last year someone predicted a major celeb would publicly leave. That was correct.

This year I will predict another big celeb will publicly leave.

Carry on.

 

[Elongated Cupboard]

~
View attachment 23886
View attachment 23887

Prediction: Script and poster art gets leaked June 2024,
one year before movie release. Cruise goes ballistic.

View attachment 23888
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I'd so watch that lmao

 

[ILove2Lurk]

Prediction: Script and poster art gets leaked June 2024,
one year before movie release. Cruise goes ballistic.

Spoiler: Early leaked production script is based on this original screenplay, LOL.

 

[Alex P. Keaton]

Aaron Smith-Levin will rightly celebrate the victories he began to have in January 2024, shutting down Scientology buildings by walking outside on the sidewalk in the early evening and live-streaming it, so nobody can enter or leave (they are afraid Aaron will say "hi" to them). From this, Aaron will get an idea.

He will work with Mark Bunker and other Clearwater city officials to organize a large July Fourth celebration in the new amphitheater / bandshell. There will be fireworks and a music festival that will make it impossible for Scientologists in the nearby Scientology building to study.

From this, Aaron will get ANOTHER idea. He will arrange for one or more evening outdoor Christmas concert(s) at the amphitheater by "The Manhattan Transfer". My crystal ball is fuzzy as to the exact date(s), but many Scientologists, whether they are inside trying to study or outdoors smoking, will hear this wonderful musical group and be reminded that there IS life outside of Scientology. The ones outdoors on a smoke break (and Scientology security staff) will immediately stroll over to the amphitheater and never return to Scientology (avoiding the cameras because Aaron helpfully pointed them out on his evening walks). Drunk Davey will react to this loss of personnel by drinking EVEN MORE scotch.

(I would love to see Chip Davis' Mannheim Steamroller REALLY ROCK Clearwater, but I think they prefer INDOOR venues. I don't need my crystal ball for this; I've seen them twice in recent years.)

EDIT: Another prediction: Scientology will proclaim that it was pure "OT POWER" that created the total solar eclipse on April 8, 2024 from Texas up to Maine. Scientologists are too busy studying LRH's endless drivel to realize that an eclipse is a natural phenomenon, known for centuries, and predictable by using software or consulting websites.