TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
We're not exactly sure he said it but we do feel good about this quote--so that's pretty much the same as total certainty.

"The only fundamental element in the universe more densely unknowable
and vast as black holes is the infinite stupid within Scientology"
- Albert Einstein 1955

​

WELCOME BACK TO THE STUPID THREAD!

It's a continuation of the four (4) threads entitled "TOP 100 STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY", located on a previous ex-scientology website:

"There is so little gravitas on the
Stupid Thread, I think I just discovered
the formula for anti-gravity!"
​

Here are the links, enjoy!

PART I LINKED HERE​

Replies: 7,321​

Views: 1,180,443​

PART II LINKED HERE​

Replies: 1,042​

Views: 157,399​

​

PART III LINKED HERE ​

Replies: 801​

Views: 91,416​

​

PART IV LINKED HERE​

Replies: 1,959​

Views: 116,042​

​

​

.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...
Here is the first post that started it all. . .January 14, 2011:


Nominations for the stupidest moments in Scientology's 60 year history are now being accepted.

I would like to nominate for your consideration:

Tom cruise proudly showing off
his Freedom Medal of Valor

A sociopathic con man validates
his delusional co-conspirator. ​

Sure, I can see where that would be freedom and valor.


.

 

[Glenda]

Questions:

1. Do I have to read the previous 11,123 posts on ESMB to qualify to make a nomination?
2. If I post music vids on this thread will you try to get me banned from ESMBR?
3. I would make a nomination (should I qualify per #1 and #2 above) but could find myself facing a moral crisis. What? Let's get something straight, "we stand tall" is beyond appalling and in my humble opinion right off the stupid scale. For me to post a link to it sends me into a spin. It feels a bit like scaring innocent babies and being rude to old people. Plain wrong.
4. Will there be prizes? If yes, what? (please let it not be coffee cups. I am so over people giving me coffee cups. Do. Not. Ask.)
5. Awards ceremony evening? Will there be one for best nomination and various other categories?
6. Has anyone seen my missing blue sock? opps. I am still learning about this cut and paste thing. Sorry.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

1. Do I have to read the previous 11,123 posts on ESMB to qualify to make a nomination?
2. If I post music vids on this thread will you try to get me banned from ESMBR?
3. I would make a nomination (should I qualify per #1 and #2 above) but could find myself facing a moral crisis. What? Let's get something straight, "we stand tall" is beyond appalling and in my humble opinion right off the stupid scale. For me to post a link to it sends me into a spin. It feels a bit like scaring innocent babies and being rude to old people. Plain wrong.
4. Will there be prizes? If yes, what? (please let it not be coffee cups. I am so over people giving me coffee cups. Do. Not. Ask.)
5. wards ceremony evening? Will there be one for best nomination and various other categories?
6. as anyone seen my missing blue sock? opps. I am still learning about this cut and paste thing. Sorry.

ANSWER: You don't need to read the 11,123 posts. Using Dr. Hubbard's technical discovery, it was scientifically determined that "....the best way to know is to pervade" (-LRH).

One can, for example, pervade the entire LIBRARY OF CONGRESS collection of 16,208,221 books--and perform the entire the task while enjoying just one (1) cup of tea at home, in some very cozy pink fuzzy slippers. Before this breakthrough people were forced to do incredibly useless things like transporting their meat bodies to Washington DC and then using their MEST eyes to laboriously read each word in those books.

The Hubbard Law Of Pervasion applies to all things, with the notable exception that a being cannot pervade Scientology books and materials without going to an org that can provide you with advanced study instruments that include batteries, paperclips and clay.

 

[Glenda]

ANSWER: You don't need to read the 11,123 posts. Using Dr. Hubbard's technical discovery, it was discovered that "....the best way to know is to pervade".

One can, for example, pervade the entire LIBRARY OF CONGRESS collection of 16,208,221 books--and do complete the task while enjoying just one cup of tea at home in some very cozy pink fuzzy slippers. Before this breakthough people were forced to do incredibly useless things like transporting their meat bodies to Washington DC and then using their MEST eyes to laboriously read each word in those books.

The Hubbard Law Of Pervasion applies to all things, with the notable exception that a being cannot pervade Scientology books and materials without going to an org that can provide you with advanced study instruments that include batteries, paperclips and clay.

Fucking awesome news! Thank you, thank you, thank you. All I need now is some pink fuzzy slippers and I am good to go.

Oh, hang on, before you run off to continue pervading the entire mystical knowledge of all things, these advanced study instruments available in morgs, do they include clipboards? I notice they are not mentioned your above note. Batteries, all good. Paperclips, jolly handy. Clay, well everyone knows a home - or a morg - just ain't right without a stash of clay. But the clipboard, when all things are considered, far exceeds batteries, paperclips and clay in magnitude of importance. So are there clipboards?

Right, I'm off to buy some pink fuzzy slippers. Pervasion tek here I come! I can feel the freedom happening already. I feel like I am on the right path now. Woo hoo. I need my clipboard so I can scrawl out a success story. OMG with pink fuzzy slippers, a clipboard and pervasion tek I could be running my own small island nation in no time. One small island nation at a time I say, then world domination.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
Glenda, I just pervaded AMAZON for you.

LINK HERE​

.

 

[Glenda]

.

I just pervaded AMAZON for you.

LINK HERE​

.

Why thank you. I think.

"COZY SLIPPERS FROM COMFORT EXPERTS"

WTF is a "comfort expert"? My imagination runs wild.

They'll do though. Ideal for pervading & running around in while I run a small island nation - on my way to world domination. I could sing a rousing rendition of "we stand tall" wearing these. Have I gone mad for real this time...

p.s Cosy is not spelt cozy. The world really does need pervasion tek.

 

[Pseudonym]

WTF is a "comfort expert"?

I am guessing for the ladies it would be a handsome bartender wearing a kilt.

 

[Out Ethics]

.
We're not exactly sure he said it but we do feel good about this quote--so that's pretty much the same as total certainty.

"The only fundamental element in the universe more densely unknowable
& vast is the infinite stupid within Scientology"
- Albert Einstein 1955

​

WELCOME BACK TO THE STUPID THREAD!

It's a continuation of the four (4) threads entitled "TOP 100 STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY", located on a previous ex-scientology website:

View attachment 144
"There is so little gravitas on the
Stupid Thread, I think I just discovered
the formula for anti-gravity!"
​

Here are the links, enjoy!

PART I LINKED HERE​

Replies: 7,321​

Views: 1,180,443​

PART II LINKED HERE​

Replies: 1,042​

Views: 157,399​

​

PART III LINKED HERE ​

Replies: 801​

Views: 91,416​

​

PART IV LINKED HERE​

Replies: 1,959​

Views: 116,042​

​

​

.​

Thanks HelluvaHoax for re-posting all of those threads in one location and adding another thread.

I highly recommend to the newbie and/or Scientology lurker, (even you OSA) who has decompressed a little after finding out you have been utterly fooled by L Ron Hubbard and Scientology, to spend some time on these threads.
It is the best therapy on the planet.
Humor will help you heal from the cuts of betrayal from Scientology and L Ron Hubbard.
HelluvaHoax deserves a Medal of Valor and Honor from Human Beings everywhere.

Thank you again, HelluvaHoax.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Thanks HelluvaHoax for re-posting all of those threads in one location and adding another thread. My friends, who are out UTR, can't get on these links though. They are not members of the old board ESMB.
Any chance you fix the links so guests and non members can see those threads?
I highly recommend to the newbie and/or Scientology lurker, (even you OSA) who has decompressed a little after finding out you have been utterly fooled by L Ron Hubbard and Scientology, to spend some time on these threads. It is the best therapy on the planet. Humor will help you heal from the cuts of betrayal from Scientology and L Ron Hubbard. HelluvaHoax deserves a Medal of Valor and Honor from Human Beings everywhere. Thank you again, HelluvaHoax.

Thanks!

And...Yikes! I did not know that "non members" cannot view the archived version on the old website.

What is the purpose of archiving the board if people (other than previous members) cannot view it? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of archiving the database? I don't get it.

I welcome anyone's advice or workaround on how to "fix the links so guests and non-members can see those threads". Thanks!

.

 

[Glenda]

Thanks!

And...Yikes! I did not know that "non members" cannot view the archived version on the old website.

What is the purpose of archiving the board if people (other than previous members) cannot view it? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of archiving the database? I don't get it.

I welcome anyone's advice or workaround on how to "fix the links so guests and non-members can see those threads". Thanks!

.

It is my understanding that the viewing will be the same as it has been with the message board live i.e. Certain sections are open to public viewing and the "members only" sections will require a log in. I could be wrong on this though.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

It is my understanding that the viewing will be the same as it has been with the message board live i.e. Certain sections are open to public viewing and the "members only" sections will require a log in. I could be wrong on this though.

Oh! If that is the case then all the STUPID THREAD posts will be viewable to anyone. We shall listen, look and learn (shortly) if that's the case.

If not, I will have to contact all of 739 people in my personal/business contact list again, because a few minutes ago I just sent them all a bulk message that I was canceling all my meetings in 2020 in order to have time for cutting/pasting old posts here. LOL

.

 

[Pseudonym]

Any chance you fix the links so guests and non members can see those threads?

The links to the four threads work fine. I just checked them.

It is my understanding that the viewing will be the same as it has been with the message board live i.e. Certain sections are open to public viewing and the "members only" sections will require a log in. I could be wrong on this though.

That is my understanding as well.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Nominated as one of the greatest super-stupid moments in Scientology:

THE MOMENT A SCIENTOLOGIST HAS A HUGE WIN ON
"RISING ABOVE" HOMO SAPIENS TO THE STATE OF "HOMO NOVIS"
BY GOING CLEAR OR ACHIEVING THE ELITE STATE OF OPERATING
THETAN, ALONG WITH GODLIKE MIRACULOUS SUPER POWERS.​

Wait! Isn't that kind of, um, extremely delusional? I thought that auditing was supposed to increase a being's IQ by one percentage point per hour of processing. Wouldn't that put OT's IQ in the 500 range, several hundred IQ points higher than the greatest geniuses in human history? Something is wrong here because Dr. Hubbard scientifically proved that advanced Scientologists are the elite-of-the-elite, the upper 1/2 percent of the upper 1 percent of all mankind!

I hate to say it, but I am sensing there may be a minor "outpoint" in all this.

EXPLANATION: There is a handy little term used by people who know absolutely nothing about miraculous OT powers---psychologists. They are no good, I tell ya! Spreading so much "false data" and such, for no other reason than trying to sabotage mankind's only hope to achieve eternal bliss, total freedom and Godlike powers. That's just damn evil, so maybe we should ignore it when they invented a totally non-existent, suppressive, false data thing called DUNNING KRUGER EFFECT ("DKE"). If you are a Clear or an OT, I cannot advise you strongly enough to not read further. . .

[ wiki link here ]​

"In the field of psychology, the Dunning–Kruger effect ("DKE") is a cognitive bias in which people mistakenly assess their cognitive ability as greater than it is. It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from the inability of people to recognize their lack of ability. Without the self-awareness of metacognition, people cannot objectively evaluate their competence or incompetence. As described by social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger, the cognitive bias of illusory superiority results from an internal illusion in people of low ability and from an external misperception in people of high ability; that is, "the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others................................."​

Gosh, that is so invalidative! How dare someone falsely defame an Operating Thetan by scandalously even suggesting that they have "Illusory superiority"!

I have met many OTs and I personally know it's real because I have seen their completion certificates! Just ignore that whole DKE* thing, it's a total fraud implant just to keep big beings in the MEST trap on this slave planet!



* DKE (abbv): 1. Dunning Kruger Effect 2. Dianetics KSW Effect


.

 

[Out Ethics]

Thanks!

And...Yikes! I did not know that "non members" cannot view the archived version on the old website.

What is the purpose of archiving the board if people (other than previous members) cannot view it? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of archiving the database? I don't get it.

I welcome anyone's advice or workaround on how to "fix the links so guests and non-members can see those threads". Thanks!

.

No worries. The issue was on my end and it has been fixed.

 

[Out Ethics]

OMG HelluvaHoax - I have been reading your posts on that Stupid Thread tonight and I am cracking up.
You have a gift my friend.
I am going to keep these links close by and they will be my therapy that I will go to when I am in a lull.
THANK YOU. Very funny indeed.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

cross-posted from another thread
- - -



Levitation? Exteriorization? Postulating MEST objects to
miraculously appear and disappear at will?
Sure, OTs can do that.
No problem.​

I was always a huge fan of Advance! magazine. Particularly the section called "OT SUCCESS STORIES" which consisted of paranormal powers mainly in two (2) categories:

-- Miracles related to finding a parking space!​

​

-- Miracles related to telepathically telling "the being" to go to a hospital and get a body!​

MIRACLE STAT CURIOSITY: In my own research, I discovered that in modern times there are far less miracles in evidence these days than on the wholetrack, trillions of years ago. This downtrending stat is mainly due to the reduction of "necessity level", due to the development & proliferation of valet parking.

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

-- Miracles related to telepathically telling "the being" to go to a hospital and get a body!

.

QUESTION: Why are such a large percentage of Scientology's published OT MIRACLES centered around telepathic tone 40 commands to spiritual beings operating without a MEST body, ordering them to go "pick up body"?

ANSWER:

1) Because it is not possible to body route someone into an org who doesn't have a body.​

​

2) Because an exterior being does not have hands with which to pick up cans or even sign charge card invoices.​

​

3) Because if the spiritual being operating exterior from MEST bodies cannot receive auditing, they can never​

attain the OT ability to operate exterior from MEST bodies.​

​

.​

​

​

 

[freethinker]

.

cross-posted from another thread
- - -


View attachment 163
Levitation? Exteriorization? Postulating MEST objects to
miraculously appear and disappear at will?
Sure, OTs can do that.
No problem.​

I was always a huge fan of Advance! magazine. Particularly the section called "OT SUCCESS STORIES" which consisted of paranormal powers mainly in two (2) categories:

-- Miracles related to finding a parking space!​

​

-- Miracles related to telepathically telling "the being" to go to a hospital and get a body!​

MIRACLE STAT CURIOSITY: In my own research, I discovered that in modern times there are far less miracles in evidence these days than on the wholetrack, trillions of years ago. This downtrending stat is mainly due to the reduction of "necessity level", due to the development & proliferation of valet parking.

.

With the advent of the internet people have higher choices in hospitals containing bodies. They have an app for that.

No more blanketing with the surprise of another thetan zapping you, "This ones already occupied", the app pre-scans the body for presence of BT's

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

With the advent of the internet people have higher choices in hospitals containing bodies. They have an app for that.

No more blanketing with the surprise of another thetan zapping you, "This ones already occupied", the app pre-scans the body for presence of BT's

You bring up what is perhaps one of the stupidest things in Scientology that is so stupid even Scientologists were afraid to put it in writing. Nevertheless, if one actually SURVEYED active Scientologists-in-good-standing, approximately 99.9% of them would have the identical answer to this survey question:

WHAT IS YOUR ADMIN SCALE "PLAN" EXACTLY, AFTER YOU DROP YOUR BODY?

And the #1 answer is. . . . . . . .

"I plan to pick up a new body in a super-upstat (i.e. rich) Scientology family"

​

EXPLANATION: The "end phenomena" after an entire lifetime of going up the Bridge to OT is becoming "able" enough to "operate" with OPM. Other people's money. That is the highest state of awareness and cause that Scientology's most advanced OTs (Commodore/COB) both attained.


.