TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

.....

In the early days of Scientology, Hubbard realized that he needed a gimmick to keep people paying for his "Bridge To OT" when the wildly and hyperbolically over-promoted MAGIC POWERS did not materialize. When the miraculous processes and rundowns did not yield the promised result, Hubbard immediately switched from carnival barker to his go-to misdirection. The "REMEDY".

The REMEDY came in many forms (e.g. correction list, new process/rundown, et al) which promised with 200% more certainty that everything had been figured out and resolved concerning why the earlier level didn't deliver what the slick promo pieces guaranteed.

Hubbard's first major effort to fix and recover all the blowing and/or blown Scientologists was in 1964 when he released a catalogue of EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG AND DENY THE PC THE FULL MIRACULOUS POWERS OF CLEAR & OT. He called it "The Book Of Case Remedies".

​

There are many fascinating lies and gaslighting gimmicks inside that book. Today we'll just pick one of them for some cheap thrills. . .

​

This is the moment when ROD SERLING suddenly enters the frame with a furled brow and draws your attention to the level marked "CLEAR".

Witness, if you will, the advanced state of Clear—where
tragically inept homo sapiens suddenly acquires the super-human
power to "not react with wrong answers to human problems".
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight
and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries
are that of imagination---where Clears do not react with wrong answers to human
problems such as cancer, but instead research and receive the right answers by
soliciting and following the prescriptive advice of their doctor--Dr. Hubbard, who
orders them to begin smoking far more cigarettes each hour until the cancer erases
itself! That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Scientology Zone!


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​

 

[Karen#1]

What an embarrassment Kirstie is.
Cringeworthy

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1498025565051240448

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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What an embarrassment Kirstie is.
Cringeworthy

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1498025565051240448

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LOL. Leah is hilarious!



Kirstie's Motto on Resolving Conflicts
"Natter softly and carry a big tech estimate"
- - -

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​

 

[Reyne Mayer]

i asked more profound related questions about policies and high crimes over one https://exscn2.net/threads/is-captain-david-miscavige’s-claim-of-6601-sea-org-members-real-or-are-there-far-fewer.4728/post-128537 , but in hopes someone like wise Hoaxie can provide enlightenment i want to bring this point here:


how does 'any org...moonlight'? i thought that was something individual staff resorted to....

 

[Enthetan]

i asked more profound related questions about policies and high crimes over one https://exscn2.net/threads/is-captain-david-miscavige’s-claim-of-6601-sea-org-members-real-or-are-there-far-fewer.4728/post-128537 , but in hopes someone like wise Hoaxie can provide enlightenment i want to bring this point here:

View attachment 17174
how does 'any org...moonlight'? i thought that was something individual staff resorted to....

It's one thing when some individuals moonlight. When EVERYONE has to moonlight, because weekly staff pay is not enough to buy lunch for even one day, then there is something profoundly wrong with the system.

The Catholic Church, for example, has "vows of poverty" for the priesthood, but they still manage to keep priests fed and housed.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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I just remembered, there was one big exception regarding staff getting paid : SALES personnel. Sales commissions to reges, book sellers, and FSMs get paid off the top. It tells you where LRH's priorities were. Regular staff could starve, and be berated for "not making it go right to expand the Org". But if you were a high-producing sales person, you got paid up front according to your personal sales. None of this "units according to how well the org does" bullshit. I remember when I was at Flag, I got a glance at a listing of how much various people were getting paid that week. The bookstore officer I think made around a thousand (as a Sea Org member). Regges got paid a percentage of the money they brought in.

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Remarkable observation—

If you produced book sales that week, you were paid a grand.​

​

However, if you produced an OT, you were only paid $20-$30 for the week.​

That is wildly out-exchange. In fact, it's outrageous!

Because, you were wildly overpaid for lying about producing an OT.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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It's one thing when some individuals moonlight. When EVERYONE has to moonlight, because weekly staff pay is not enough to buy lunch for even one day, then there is something profoundly wrong with the system.

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Jeez, the Hubbard Law of Commotion seems to be in play. . .

To wit, Scientologists study and clay demo "THE SCIENCE OF SURVIVAL".

So they can survive.

But if they can't pay their rent or buy food and they try to survive by getting a second job, they are accused of commiting a "crime" (moonlighting).

In Scientology a "2nd Job" is the same thing as an "Other Practice". LOL


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[Enthetan]

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Jeez, the Hubbard Law of Commotion seems to be in play. . .

To wit, Scientologists study and clay demo "THE SCIENCE OF SURVIVAL".

So they can survive.

But if they can't pay their rent or buy food and they try to survive by getting a second job, they are accused of commiting a "crime" (moonlighting).

In Scientology a "2nd Job" is the same thing as an "Other Practice". LOL
.

If you put up with it, the org will want ALL your time, not just the regular hours.

When you're not on post, you are supposed to spend three hours a day on "enhancement" (studying your full post check sheet, doing auditor training, getting crammed, etc).

Then after regular post hours, they will want you to pitch in with "all hands" activities like cleaning the org, or getting bulk mail out, or doing event call-in.

When I was doing staff on top of holding a full time professional job, at one point the HAS told me I needed to stick around Saturday to do cleanup. I brought her to the Org Board, pointed to the part that said "janitors and cleaners", told her to go put somebody on that post, and walked away.

Oh, and that $1,000 week's pay for the Flag bookstore officer? That was around 1980. Adjusted for inflation, that would be considerably more in 2022 dollars.

 

[Reyne Mayer]

It's one thing when some individuals moonlight. When EVERYONE has to moonlight, because weekly staff pay is not enough to buy lunch for even one day, then there is something profoundly wrong with the system.

The Catholic Church, for example, has "vows of poverty" for the priesthood, but they still manage to keep priests fed and housed.

i was poking fun at the odd grammatical construction, or error, here.

is the 'the org moonlighting' actually characteristic LRH speech, when the normal construction would be something about everyone in the org moonlighting, or just a mistake? it would be a strange way of collectivizing things, making the individual disappear, but he did a fair bit of that as a habitual if not intentional tactic.

and, yeah, more seriously, it points to how profoundly exploitive and insane the whole construct was and is. the policy worked so rarely you might as well say never, and he never readjusted other parts of the financial equation (such as all the money going into his own pockets) so that staff could receive reasonable compensation. he did get people to agree or submit to it, by various means including deception (hiding and lying about just how much profit there was that was really going to him) and manipulation. if the policy was important to him he'd use it to beat people over the head with -- such as over just how much money was supposed to go 'uplines' -- and if it turned out to be inconvenient like that he'd ignore it.

ETA over at the Bunker today, this quote from 'source' maybe gets at what LRH resorted to:

“Scientology has various ends. Out of Scientology you could formulate, for instance, a very fine type of ‘thought warfare’ which — much better than an atom bomb. No, an atom bomb just kills people — but you could take in ‘thought warfare,’ you could enslave them utterly. You could, you’d make complete slaves out of them, with a very simple contraption. Very simple.
....But that’s the easy way to do it, and that’s what’s wrong with the race, is everybody has tried it the easy way — control, restraint, more engrams, more punishment.” — L. Ron Hubbard, March 3, 1952

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

If you put up with it, the org will want ALL your time, not just the regular hours. When you're not on post, you are supposed to spend three hours a day on "enhancement" (studying your full post check sheet, doing auditor training, getting crammed, etc).Then after regular post hours, they will want you to pitch in with "all hands" activities like cleaning the org, or getting bulk mail out, or doing event call-in. When I was doing staff on top of holding a full time professional job, at one point the HAS told me I needed to stick around Saturday to do cleanup. I brought her to the Org Board, pointed to the part that said "janitors and cleaners", told her to go put somebody on that post, and walked away. Oh, and that $1,000 week's pay for the Flag bookstore officer? That was around 1980. Adjusted for inflation, that would be considerably more in 2022 dollars.

Your staff experiences (above) showcase an advanced axiom:

In Scientology, whatever you do or donate—it's never enough! ​

Let's take that super-upstat bookstore officer who earned $1000 for one week's salary in 1980. When adjusted for inflation, that's equal to $3,412 today in 2022. (LINK TO INFLATION CALCULATOR)

When the bookstore officer realized that mest magnitude of money, they would promptly be invited to a "very special confidential VIP briefing" about Ron's intention to safeguard mankind for eternity. At the event the bookstore officer would receive a passion-filled r-factor delivered by an out-of-work tv actor in a yellow t-shirt who tearfully explained that a nuclear was was coming which would wipe out all life on earth and destroy all of Ron's books in a 2nd Wall of Fire!

Unemployed TV actor briefing low level beings in Hungary that even if they invest $1M and
and decades and attain Total Szabadság (freedom), they will lose it anyways.​

Luckily, however, Ron did wholetrack research and discovered a way to save the tech so that hundreds of thousands of years in the future some randomly wandering cavemen who happened to be digging deep underground mine shafts in a remote mountain range might stumble upon Ron's tech which is secretly buried there on engraved stainless steel tablets which are encased inside of titanium capsules.

This VIP event is where the bookstore officer at Budapest's Ideal Org learns that the USA already has an underground vault but that Hungarian cave men in few hundred thousand years will be out of luck unless there are buried tablets engraved in the Hungarian language. The soap opera actor will then convince the bookstore office to donate his 1,172,977 Forint ($3,412) to help pay to dig the deep underground hole that will safeguard Hungarians' eternity on this planet!


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[Lee #28]

I had an OT 7 friend in Los Angles that would tell me stories once in a while.....

He told me that many years ago.....that his ORG ate very well because he use to go around to the dumpsters behind the grocery stores and collect the out of date food that was thrown out.

This was suppose to be in New York....I guess back in the 1970s.......

I guess that is really KSW!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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ADVANCED AXIOM: In Scientology, whatever you do or donate—it's never enough!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Did you have a chance to review my CSW
to approve my taking a day off on Saturday?

SENIOR EXEC
I am afraid that I could not approve that,
because even though your stats last week
were up, we have to wait until next
week to verify your 3-week trend.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
But, I have been a Sea Org member for 113,000 years
and didn't get a day off yet. Don't you remember when
you recruited me back then and you said we all have to
really produce first before we can take time off
and you said we'll have plenty of time to
relax when the planet is Clear.

SENIOR EXEC
And your point is..........?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well, last week we finally finished the
job and cleared the planet, remember
the huge celebration? And, hey, I'm only
asking for one day off to go to Disneyland.

SENIOR EXEC
Yes, you did spend the last 113,000 years to
help clear the planet, but if you are honest
about it that's really a half-done.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Wuttttttttttttt?!

SENIOR EXEC
Well, don't get me wrong--clearing the planet
is okay, but Ron's dream is really to
salvage this sector of the universe.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Damn!

SENIOR EXEC
Don't worry about it, after we salvage this sector
there will be plenty of time to relax. But right now you
have to knock off all that Disney devT dilettante
DB crap and start to think big.

.​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

In Scientology, whatever you do or donate—it's never enough!

How I (mis)handled the Beggars at Flag
in the early days

When the begging mindset was taking hold at Flag
and other places, I was pretty sour about what I saw. On
my routing form out, I had to visit the desks of several
beggars. Here's how my conversation went with one
of them.

Freewinds exec: How much can you do today?

Me: Wait a minute. You're telling me you can't get your
stats up through production, can't make it happen, can't
make it go right with real products. And now you're coming
to me with hat in hand asking me to subsidize you, carry
you with my hard work in the real world? Really?

Do you know what that looks like? If LRH were alive,
he'd be livid. He was 100% against outright donations
like this.

Freewinds exec: But we need money to . . . .

Me: Here's $25 just to have you sign my routing form
and me getting on my way.

Freewinds exec: That's sorta insulting actually.

Me: Then don't take it. Just sign my routing form. Here.
Sign. I need to go.

He sheepishly writes up the $25 and I'm on my way.
I don't think I ever went back to Flag after that.

That was the only outright donation I ever gave anyone ever
-- $25. Maybe I was cheap. Maybe I knew policy cold. Maybe
I was just lucky.

For a so called "science of the mind and universe" to turn to
begging with Blues Brothers skits and superhero costumes
. . . . How stupid have people become not to see through
this charade?
Sorry, people need to "wake the f*** up."


PS: Obviously, I wouldn't have made it in this day and age.

 

[Karen#1]

Charmaine Rogers, top REG was so good, that they let her LIVE with Trish and Bob Duggan.

A Sea Org member allowed to live OFF base with billionaires to keep hitting them up for money.
Chairmaine died a few years ago. Cancer.

My memory of Charmaine was her determination to get $$$ glumming on to me, not leaving my side and even waiting outside the rest room
til I emerged. I have not heard of a Sales person in the Sea Org shadowing you to even wait outside a toilet til you exited.

Scientology loses its best fundraiser at perhaps the worst possible time | The Underground Bunker

tonyortega.org

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

How I (mis)handled the Beggars at Flag
in the early days

When the begging mindset was taking hold at Flag
and other places, I was pretty sour about what I saw. On
my routing form out, I had to visit the desks of several
beggars. Here's how my conversation went with one
of them.

Freewinds exec: How much can you do today?

Me: Wait a minute. You're telling me you can't get your
stats up through production, can't make it happen, can't
make it go right with real products. And now you're coming
to me with hat in hand asking me to subsidize you, carry
you with my hard work in the real world? Really?

Do you know what that looks like? If LRH were alive,
he'd be livid. He was 100% against outright donations
like this.

Freewinds exec: But we need money to . . . .

Me: Here's $25 just to have you sign my routing form
and me getting on my way.

Freewinds exec: That's sorta insulting actually.

Me: Then don't take it. Just sign my routing form. Here.
Sign. I need to go.

He sheepishly writes up the $25 and I'm on my way.
I don't think I ever went back to Flag after that.

That was the only outright donation I ever gave anyone ever
-- $25. Maybe I was cheap. Maybe I knew policy cold. Maybe
I was just lucky.

For a so called "science of the mind and universe" to turn to
begging with Blues Brothers skits and superhero costumes
. . . . How stupid have people become not to see through
this charade?
Sorry, people need to "wake the f*** up."


PS: Obviously, I wouldn't have made it in this day and age.

.

LOL!

Your tech is awe-inspiring!

But what if the DB (Dianetic Beggar) refused to
sign your routing form and take the $25?

Here is some advanced technology that might handle that. . .



LINK TO MIRACULOUS BREAKTHROUGH TECHNOLOGY





​

 

[onceuponatime]

I had an OT 7 friend in Los Angles that would tell me stories once in a while.....

He told me that many years ago.....that his ORG ate very well because he use to go around to the dumpsters behind the grocery stores and collect the out of date food that was thrown out.

This was suppose to be in New York....I guess back in the 1970s.......

I guess that is really KSW!

That's the type of make it go right attitude orgs are lacking these days, they have it so easy, bunch of slackers. I wonder if your friends tech will make it onto the OEC/FEBC stuff being done at Flag right now.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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from another thread called
"What Scientology Could Have Been"
- - -​

Subtract certain things, and sort out the subject, and you'd have a different subject.

True!

However that might well be true for many subjects. For example, subtract sound from the music industry and you'd have a different subject.

I believe that L. Ron Hubbard already proved your subtraction thesis when he—

- - Subtracted science from "modern science" and had a different subject.​

​

- - Subtracted health from "mental health" and had a different subject.​

​

- - Subtracted the abilities attained part from both the grade chart and​

.....the auditing enrollment contracts that preclears were forced to sign.​

​

- - Subtracted around $650K from the bank account of each person who believed him.​

​

​

.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHICH IS A BETTER INVESTMENT
FOR A MARRIED COUPLE?

Investing in THETA?
-or-
Investing in MEST?
​

COST: Assuming the average investment (per being) to do the Bridge up to OT VIII is approximately $625K per thetan, that gives us a total of $1.25M to invest in either becoming "TOTAL CAUSE OVER LIFE" or investing in a house to live in.

DETAILS: Let's further assume that the house purchased would be in a state with no income tax and a booming economy, clean air, abundant nature and great value per sq. foot & acreage.

SCENARIO I: Investing $1.25M and several decades to become an OT VIII.

WHAT YOU GET: You get a completion certificate, 7 seconds of applause, a lapel pin and a new tech estimate that guarantees you will handle your ruin on OT IX and OT X.​

​

SCENARIO II: Investing $1.25M and several decades to pay off your home's mortgage.

WHAT YOU GET: You get a paid for 9000 square foot mansion that keeps going up in value and a telephone you can answer without first checking the caller ID in order to screen a fanatical cult salesman who desperately needs you to take responsibility for donating to buy marble floors for the new Ideal Org's bathrooms, so that the tech will work and mankind will be saved, on this planet.​

​

​

​

​

FUN FACT: That's a real listing, in Tennessee. LINK HERE

SUMMARY: There's one other difference I forgot to mention. When you buy and do your "Bridge" you are able to say: "MY SPACE FEELS BIGGER". However, if you opt for the MEST, you are able to say: "MY SPACE IS BIGGER".


..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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from another thread discussing
"PEOPLE YOU THOUGHT WERE OTs"
- - -
.​

I only know of a few instances of actual OT ability. I know of two people who have teleported, one who could consistently make the ashtray stand up and one who made one of those ugly LRH bronze busts disappear. All verified occurrences. And, of course, there are the remote viewers. The common theme though is that in most cases the incident was spontaneous and couldn't be willingly done again. It's a long haul and I still intend to get there. But I wouldn't waste my time or money on paid services again.

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You personally saw someone teleport? Do tell.
You personally saw someone who could make an ashtray levitate with a command? Do tell.
You personally saw an LRH bronze bust disappear before your own eyes? Do tell.
You are claiming that these are "all verified occurrences"? Who verified them and how?
If what you are saying is true, then you have personal knowledge of the biggest discoveries in human history. The only competition you would have are the religious miracles in the Bible & Koran but those are all unverified occurrences. How did you verify these astonishing miracles?.

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One of the sources was Ken Ogger. One was Geoffrey Filbert. The third was a private communication.

None of these people have any truck with mainstream Scientology, and I can't see any personal advantage to their having made the claim..

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Thanks for the clarifications. I was hoping that you had personally witnessed those miracles.

But, the good news is that you are nonetheless still ranked in an elite category just a nanometer below the very highest corroborative level of eye-witness!

Only 3 parties in history can reliably testify to experiencing these kinds of divine phenomena—as an ear-witness who directly heard about the miracles!

• Koranic scholars
• Biblical scholars
• OTanical scholars

Personally, I have only had one possibly paranormalish experience with miracles. When I was first in Scientology, I was shopping in Walmart and waiting in the checkout line. But before I could pay, I suddenly had an irresistible urge to leave the store and drive home. It made no sense, but something was seemingly overriding my own determinism and compelling me to follow some other agenda. As I pulled away from the curb I obnosed that a car immediately pulled into my parking spot. Looking in my rearview mirror I saw that car had a bumper sticker--

​

As I drove home, I smiled to myself when I realized that beings who have made it up to the state of OPERATING THETAN can very easily use their postulate-power with tone 40 intention to find a parking space for themselves. By the time I arrived home, I was feeling very proud of having had the opportunity to flow power to bigger beings, on this planet.

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[ILove2Lurk]

The Metaverse
"According to Mark Zuckerberg, mankind will migrate into the metaverse in the future,
leaving reality behind for a world [the MV] that we create and govern entirely. He claims
that there will come a moment when virtual worlds are so absorbing and handy that we
will not want to leave, at which point the metaverse will emerge."​

Been there, done that.*

Didn't turn out as expected is all I can say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


* Lived in Hubbard's "imaginary construct," his immersive simulation
of an alternative reality, for a couple decades. Instead of using computers
to create his "metaverse," he did it with very heavy books, cassette tapes,
and cheaply printed pamphlets. It was an earlier time after all.