Karen#1
Well-known member
A few hours ago, early in the morning of the day that Super Bowl LIX will take place in New Orleans, Scientology revealed its ad for the big game this year. And once again, it’s a mystery sandwich.
In a 1990s court case, Hana Whitfield testified that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard had said in her presence, “To keep a person on the Scientology path, feed him a mystery sandwich.”
That’s exactly what Scientology’s Super Bowl ads are all about. You won’t learn a thing about what actually happens in a Scientology ‘org,’ but you will get your inner pilgrim pandered to, grasshopper.
Since 2013, the church has bought local ad spots during the big game to show its slick ads. People in some markets see the ad during the long pre-game show and during the game itself, usually right after halftime and as the third quarter is about to begin. But it has appeared in other spots as well.
Here’s this year’s entry, titled ‘The Question.’ This is a 90-second version, but what actually airs during the game will be 30 seconds or less…
From the first stirrings of wonder,
In the first sparks of curiosity,
There was a question.
Older than humanity,
Deeper than any language ever conceived,
More powerful than all the weapons and armies of the world,
More elusive than the farthest extremes of exploration,
Tantalizing, but out of reach for all generations.
But what if the answer was never there at all?
What if the answer to every secret of the universe
Was not at the edges of the Earth
Or at the ends of the stars,
But within you,
Waiting to be unlocked.
It’s the same narrator as ever, Shane Johnson, the same look, the same word salad that adds up to nothing.
And it never fails. Each year, we see viewers go completely nuts over the idea that Scientology has paid to run a short pitch on their TV screens.
Speaking of going nuts. No reaction to a Scientology Super Bowl ad was more attention-getting than Mr. Peanut’s classic Twitter take six years ago…
Anyway, we expect a lot more incredulity tonight. You’d think people would be used to it by now. Twelve years ago, for 2013’s Super Bowl, Scientology advertised during the game for the first time. Why then? Well, we agreed with Mike Rinder that it was probably a direct result of Debbie Cook asking, in court testimony in 2012, about the money that Scientologists were supposedly paying for publicity campaigns.
Cook was a top former church official and the questions she raised in a famous New Year’s 2012 email led directly to a large exodus of people leaving the church — and no doubt made Scientology leader David Miscavige sit up and take notice. She seemed to have a good point: Scientologists are under intense pressure to fork over huge amounts of money that they are told will be used to “disseminate” Scientology to the larger public. But what did they h
Read more
tonyortega.substack.com
In a 1990s court case, Hana Whitfield testified that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard had said in her presence, “To keep a person on the Scientology path, feed him a mystery sandwich.”
That’s exactly what Scientology’s Super Bowl ads are all about. You won’t learn a thing about what actually happens in a Scientology ‘org,’ but you will get your inner pilgrim pandered to, grasshopper.
Since 2013, the church has bought local ad spots during the big game to show its slick ads. People in some markets see the ad during the long pre-game show and during the game itself, usually right after halftime and as the third quarter is about to begin. But it has appeared in other spots as well.
Here’s this year’s entry, titled ‘The Question.’ This is a 90-second version, but what actually airs during the game will be 30 seconds or less…
From the first stirrings of wonder,
In the first sparks of curiosity,
There was a question.
Older than humanity,
Deeper than any language ever conceived,
More powerful than all the weapons and armies of the world,
More elusive than the farthest extremes of exploration,
Tantalizing, but out of reach for all generations.
But what if the answer was never there at all?
What if the answer to every secret of the universe
Was not at the edges of the Earth
Or at the ends of the stars,
But within you,
Waiting to be unlocked.
It’s the same narrator as ever, Shane Johnson, the same look, the same word salad that adds up to nothing.
And it never fails. Each year, we see viewers go completely nuts over the idea that Scientology has paid to run a short pitch on their TV screens.
Speaking of going nuts. No reaction to a Scientology Super Bowl ad was more attention-getting than Mr. Peanut’s classic Twitter take six years ago…
Anyway, we expect a lot more incredulity tonight. You’d think people would be used to it by now. Twelve years ago, for 2013’s Super Bowl, Scientology advertised during the game for the first time. Why then? Well, we agreed with Mike Rinder that it was probably a direct result of Debbie Cook asking, in court testimony in 2012, about the money that Scientologists were supposedly paying for publicity campaigns.
Cook was a top former church official and the questions she raised in a famous New Year’s 2012 email led directly to a large exodus of people leaving the church — and no doubt made Scientology leader David Miscavige sit up and take notice. She seemed to have a good point: Scientologists are under intense pressure to fork over huge amounts of money that they are told will be used to “disseminate” Scientology to the larger public. But what did they h
Read more
Here’s the 2025 Scientology Super Bowl ad — this time it's 'The Question'
A few hours ago, early in the morning of the day that Super Bowl LIX will take place in New Orleans, Scientology revealed its ad for the big game this year.
tonyortega.substack.com
