TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax! said:
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Like all things in Scientology, that stalker's "handling" has the complete opposite effect of what was intended.

Amongst other things, that video proves Scientology is not a religion.

Because it is impossible that any religion in history ever did that. . .



STALKER
Hello, I'm here because I am concerned you and your husband are
reading the Bible and saying prayers at home.

CHRISTIAN
Who are you exactly?

STALKER
I am from the United Church of Christ's Love & Understanding, the
church you and your husband used to attend Sunday services at.
Like I say, our church is worried that you are not practicing
Christianity standardly.

CHRISTIAN
We're doing the same thing at home as we used to do in Church,
same Bible, same prayers to the same God.

STALKER
That deeply concerns me. Because if you don't read the Bible
correctly or say the prayers correctly you will not go to heaven.

CHRISTIAN
This is not a problem. We are reading the words
verbatim from the Bible.

STALKER
I got that. But aren't you worried that you are doing something
unethical by not coming to Church on Sundays and letting
our certified ministers help you read the bible and pray
standardly? We are very worried about your ethics.

CHRISTIAN
Well as long as you bring up "ethics', that's why we left
your church. We saw the head minister in Vegas, and
he was a degenerate gambler, a drunk, a drug abuser
and he had sleazy hookers on the side all the time his
wife was back in their hotel room on the phone trying
to raise money for the new church. So, don't talk to
me about "ethics", okay?

STALKER
The head minister never told anyone in our church any of that,
so I don't know anything about that.

CHRISTIAN
Exactly! So why don't you get off my property and go back
to your church and ask him.

STALKER
Don't change the subject, this is about YOUR ethics.

CHRISTIAN
Hey, your priest is a fraud. Why don't you look on the internet
and you can see the criminal indictment that came down
because he used church donations to buy secret luxury
homes and condos in different cities where he partied
with 10,000 dollar a night hookers.

STALKER
I got that. So, you really need to come into church on Sunday.

CHRISTIAN
LOL, really? Seriously? LOL. Why is that?

STALKER
I'm worried that you are not going to heaven. But you can fix that
if you come in and make up the damage for praying at home by
making a substantial cash donation to the church we want to build
in Atlantic City.

CHRISTIAN
There aren't enough casinos, booze, drugs & hookers in Vegas?

STALKER
You've got it all wrong. If our priest is talking to hookers in a hotel room
it must be because he is ministering to them to bring them to Jesus so
they can go to heaven. You want to go to heaven too, don't you?

CHRISTIAN
I'm going to call the police.

STALKER
Okay, I'll leave but only if you buy a package of one dozen of our newly released
pamphlet "THE WAY TO HEAVEN-NESS".

CHRISTIAN
No. And besides I already bought a copy of that years ago.

STALKER
I got that, but like I told you before, you can't read it at home and get
into heaven. You have to read it in our building where we have
holy clay and sacred lie detectors.

. ​
Click to expand...
in listening to the video, it's clear the stalker is trying to get Monque, or whatever her name is to admit that Marty is squirreling the tech.

What's funny is that whether one squirreled the tech or not, no clears or ot's by either. LOL

so serious for much ado about nothing, except copyrights and trademarks.
 
Riddick said:
in listening to the video, it's clear the stalker is trying to get Monque, or whatever her name is to admit that Marty is squirreling the tech.

What's funny is that whether one squirreled the tech or not, no clears or ot's by either. LOL

so serious for much ado about nothing, except copyrights and trademarks.
Click to expand...
You know if someone is squirreling the tech by "no results"...

:unsure: So all of Scientology, church, Freezone, independents, etc must be squirreling. :roflmao:
 
Bill said:
Riddick said:
in listening to the video, it's clear the stalker is trying to get Monque, or whatever her name is to admit that Marty is squirreling the tech.

What's funny is that whether one squirreled the tech or not, no clears or ot's by either. LOL

so serious for much ado about nothing, except copyrights and trademarks.
Click to expand...
You know if someone is squirreling the tech by "no results"...

:unsure: So all of Scientology, church, Freezone, independents, etc must be squirreling. :roflmao:
Click to expand...

"Them darn squirrels are using our good ol' Hubbard Snake Oil formula with no premission, no suh! Ain't that just practicing medicine without a license?! Someone make em' stop that!" :hissyfit:
 
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Riddick said:
in listening to the video, it's clear the stalker is trying to get (her),... to admit that Marty is squirreling the tech.

What's funny is that whether one squirreled the tech or not, no Clears or OT's by either. LOL
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Click to expand...

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Beautifully summed up!

I think you just discovered the punchline to the joke that begins:


An OT VIII knocks on the door of a non-standard squirrel to confront
and shatter them about alter-ising and ruining Ron's workable tech
and thus sabotaging mankind's only hope. The squirrel laughs
and tells them to leave. The OT VIII angrily responds--
"Hey, standard tech is a deadly serious activity! It's
no laughing matter, so what's so funny?!"

​
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HelluvaHoax! said:
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Beautifully summed up!

I think you just discovered the punchline to the joke that begins:


An OT VIII knocks on the door of a non-standard squirrel to confront
and shatter them about alter-ising and ruining Ron's workable tech
and thus sabotaging mankind's only hope. The squirrel laughs
and tells them to leave. The OT VIII angrily responds--
"Hey, standard tech is a deadly serious activity! It's
no laughing matter, so what's so funny?!"

​
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Click to expand...
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
 
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It has been said that there are 15 LOGICAL FALLACIES.

With Hubbard's discovery of Scientology, there is now a 16th!

"The Paradoxical PC Predicament": Because standard tech always works, 100% of PCs do in fact attain Total Freedom. However, before utilizing any of that freedom they must first obtain written approval by bigger and more ethical beings that reside uplines. Hence, while they are always totally free to communicate to anyone about anything, if a beloved spouse, child or friend is suddenly discovered to have committed.a High Crime (e.g. if they did a criminal Google search on their own religion "Scientology") then totally free Scientologists are counseled by church elders that they are totally free to disconnect from that psychotic SP. By closely micro-managing & restricting how Scientologists use their total freedom, the church ensures that Scientologists don't take part in any unethical activity or overt which would cause their bank to come back and limit their total freedom.​
​
.​
​
 
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Scientologists have scientifically determined and often remind us that they are "The most ethical people on this planet!"

One wonders how they have been able to maintain this miraculously ethical purity!

Perhaps this is possible because they have a very ethical person whose job it is to make sure everyone else is ethical!


ETHICS OFFICER
So, I have a knowledge report on you that states you
were discovered committing suppressive high crimes
for which our church is going to Declare you SP.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Wait!!! I've only been in Scientology 6 months. What
are you talking about , what crime did i commit?

ETHICS OFFICER
You were already warned the last time you got sent to
ethics to not look at entheta about Scientology. But you
willfully and knowingly violated your Non-Enturbulation Order
and did a Google search on the word "Scientology".

SCIENTOLOGIST
Whattttt? I was searching for information on
my own religion, how is that a crime?

ETHICS OFFICER
Because anyone talking about Scientology on the internet is giving you verbal
data, which is suppressive entheta. The only source of information about
about Scientology is the Source of Scientology, which is
contained in the books by L. Ron Hubbard.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Then you are saying that Scientologists must never
read anything about Scientology on the internet?

ETHICS OFFICER
Exactly!

SCIENTOLOGIST
What about Scientology's website, that's on
the internet. I can't read that either?

ETHICS OFFICER
No, you can read that. That's the only exception.

SCIENTOLOGIST
But what about the website where our OT celebrity Tom
Cruise attacked the show host Matt Lauer because an
actress said she was helped by a mental health professional.

ETHICS OFFICER
Yeah, that's okay. Face-ripping is the only other exception.

SCIENTOLOGIST
But if you declare me, i can't talk to my wife or
kids or ever even see them again?

ETHICS OFFICER
Yup, sorry about that. Of course you could possibly
get back in good standing if you do all the lower ethics
conditions formulas and make up the damage you did.

SCIENTOLOGIST
How would I do that?

ETHICS OFFICER
By doing an amends project to fix all the
horrible damage you did by using Google.

SCIENTOLOGIST
I don't really get it. What's the damage exactly?

ETHICS OFFICER
It's exactly $4000. That's the donation that
is required to buy Ron's newly re-released books.

SCIENTOLOGIST
That's it? I just give you my charge card
and I'm not an SP any more?

ETHICS OFFICER
Pretty much. But then you have to also get signatures on a petition
to be allowed to rejoin the church. That's not so easy, but
as your Ethics officer, I can help you with that.

SCIENTOLGIST
Really? But if I borrow 4000 dollars and donate it it, how
can i be sure that people will sign my petition?

ETHICS OFFICER
Because as your Ethics Officer, I'll put a good word
in for your ethics with other ethical Scientologists. But
only if you ethically name me as your FSM and
I get my ethical 10% cut.​

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Karen#1 said:
Today the hilarious site BOING BOING profiled the lasrer prank

"Scientology Sucks" LOLOLOL
boingboing.net

These guys projected "Sucks" on LA's Scientology headquarters

“Reckless Ben” (no relation to Wreckless Eric, as far as I know) and his pal made a 10-part documentary about how they infiltrated the Church of Scientology, started a religion called &…
boingboing.net
Click to expand...

Frantic that the sign said "SCIENTOLOGY SUCKS " from a lazer light a Security Guard tried an intervention with balloons

LOL


SCN.sucks.block.balloons.png
 
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Karen#1 said:
Frantic that the sign said "SCIENTOLOGY SUCKS" from a laser light a Security Guard tried an intervention with balloons. LOL


View attachment 2147
Click to expand...

LOL

Those guys and their viral "SCIENTOLOGY SUCKS" video series are like Anonymous 2.0.

! Anonymous on Steroids !


​
Even if someone is not a fan of "bullbaiting" Scientologists at their own Ideal Orgs, there are a couple other hilarious cult reactions that are always present:

1) BLOCKING! You posted one of their "blockingTECH" gimmicks there, lamely trying to block out a massive industrial sized sign 8 stories above street level with a few balloons. There are countless videos online where Scientologists try but cringefully fail to block a sign, a protest placard, a t-shirt, the word "Xenu" and anything else that begins to reveal their ocean of lies. Another part of the video shows them using blockingTECH to occupy a parking space on the street that they hope will stop the word suck being projected. Total fail. Another part of the video reveals cult members trying to flood super bright lights on the gargantuan word "SUCKS!"----but the protestors just move their projector a few inches and the same defiant image appears on another equally funny spot on the buliding. In short, the cult's block tech SUCKS, just like the protest sign claims!

2) HANDLING! The instant that anything happens in Scientology's vicinity that it doesn't know how to handle, the cult depatches dozens of HANDLERS to flood the area and begin applying shatter-tech gimmicks to the SPs. Filming them, photographing them, trying to shame/shatter them as religious bigots, et a. This video is full of real handling goodies that failed. Even the cops (who wanted to help Scientology by arresting the free speech protesters and confiscating their expensive equipment and footage) were powerless. That's usually the cult ace when everything else fails, but social media has already opened up the floodgates on people's right to film and speak publicly.

FREE BONUS CRITIQUE: The handlers alone are worth watching the video. They are Dianetics dinosaurs, crusty old culties who look shaken and shattered themselves. Forty years in the cult and OT VIII did not prepare them to handle some free & funny protestors. Even after Anonymous blew Scientology up, the cult never figured out what to do if someone was actually vastly more "high toned" and "spirit of play" and "insouciant" than they were supposed to be.​
​
The OTs are clueless! They don't know whether to ATTACK or GET IN COM. And they flip back and forth, ending up looking like the hopeless buffoons they are. Particularly impressive is that the Handlers' faces show utter contempt and hatred for what is happening---they are just DYING to say the most horrific and restimulative things they can to utterly spin in & destroy the jokers. But they are simultaneously still trying to use "ARC" and "GET IN TWO WAY COM". It's awful but wonderful watching them sputter with senile frustration when nothing works. If they had the power to send the protesters to prison for life, they would do it in a microsecond.​
​
But they are powerless...and for some odd reason none of their OT powers happen to be working this particular day.​
​
.​
 
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"The tech works!"
SOMEONE'S PROJECTING "SCIENTOLOGY SUCKS!" ON OUR BUILDING?!
"We can handle that!"

1583955968941.png

SCIENTOLOGY SECURITY FORCES RELEASE BALLOON-TECH
COUNTER MEASURES TO AS-IS AN SP COM PARTICLE BEING
PROJECTED ON THE FACE OF THEIR IDEAL ORG.
OH WAIT, ISN'T THAT NOT-IS?

​
THE 3 USES OF BALLOON-TECH IN SCIENTOLOGY
1. Releasing balloons to cover up low-toned words on our ideal buildings so that high-toned PCs inside can keep winning!
2. Releasing balloons when new ideal buildings are opened so we ideally can make money and make more money!
3. Releasing balloons at funerals to encourage mourners to leave by signaling "El-vis El-ron has left the ideal building!"

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Yeh, what is the deal with their hangup on balloons lately, anyway? Some childhood reversion syndrome?

They create plastic trash wherever they pop and besides, there is a helium shortage and hospitals need it for surgery and other things. The role of helium gas in medicine

Not that the Church of Scientology has ever cared a bit about wasting resources and creating trash.

www.bbc.co.uk

Helium shortages: Should it be used for party balloons?

Helium balloons are a staple part of a lot of parties, but they rely on helium gas to fill them - and it's in short supply. Should we be using this precious gas in balloons?
www.bbc.co.uk www.bbc.co.uk
 
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JustSheila said:
They create plastic trash wherever they pop and besides, there is a helium shortage and hospitals need it for surgery and other things. The role of helium gas in medicine

Not that the Church of Scientology has ever cared a bit about wasting resources and creating trash.
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Click to expand...

Scientology would never commit toxic environmental crimes because they have a sacred scriptural passage in "The Way To Happiness" that mandates they "take care of the environment".

In fact, long before the modern-day progressive party thought of it, Scientology was the first eco-friendly organization on the planet to originate a "GREEN NEW DEAL" where they volunteered across the world to collect and recycle people's extraneously useless green dollars.

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Inspired by another thread discussing former COS spokesperson, Mike Rinder,
refusing multi-million dollar bribes from the cult to not reveal anything
about the COS (Crimewave of Scientology).
- - -​

Karen#1 said:
--snipped--
Monique Yingling herself was flown to Denver, CO to handle the emergency. (Rinder) was offered $5 million to sign his life away and never speak and be muzzled and gagged for life. Mike refused although $5 million could have set him up for life.
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Click to expand...

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I wonder what all those super-ethical, super-hatted Scientology donors would think if they discovered that all those multi-million dollar settlements that their church makes to former members means that. . . .

While they are still paying on all the credit cards and loans they took for
the PTS-SP COURSE and many intensives of auditing on the PTS RUNDOWN,
that---their hard-earned cash was being used to flow power to SPs!



PC IN CRISIS!
1584053782506.png

PC MOMENT! (Pre-Cognition)

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​
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It is interesting how much the cult try to demean a whistleblower by calling them a LIAR.

However journalists globally investigate the LIES and routinely report the deception and LIES spouted out from the CULT.
The cult and their lawyers even lie profusely under oath in the law courts. Its the greatest good !

A year ago Vintage News (whoever they are ) had this essay on line. Lot of Data points and lies comprehensively posted in one short essay

 
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JustSheila said:
^^^His lips! His lips! :roflmao:

It's like his lips are trying their best not to touch his nasty teeth! :LOL:
Click to expand...
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LOL

1584145809381.png​
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Those rotten teeth proved to be the proverbial
"earlier similar incident" on the chain. . .


SCIENTOLOGY FROM 1986-2020
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST ASKS
"Hey how come if Ron is so uptone,
he suddenly dropped dead?"
PUBLIC RELATIONS SPOKESPERSON ANSWERS
"Ron did not suddenly drop dead, it's just that Ron
is so OT he exteriorized from his MEST impediment!"

- - -

SCIENTOLOGY FROM 1950-1985
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST ASKS
"Hey how come if Ron is so uptone,
his rotten teeth are falling out of his head?"
PUBLIC RELATIONS SPOKESPERSON ANSWERS
"Ron's teeth are not falling out of his head, it's just
that Ron is so OT, his teeth are exteriorizing."

.
​
 
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SUPER-STUPID SCIENTOLOGY SCIENCE!

THE RESEARCH & DISCOVERY VOLUMES

1st-Ed-Scientology-Research-Discovery-Volumes.jpg


Zero Research
Zero Discoveries
Zero Clears
Zero OTs
Zero Powers
Zero Refunds

whoa, that's a lot of zeros!
hey, they're free--have a few more!
$ 600,000
- average amount donated for zero results -

.​
 
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