The cringey, corrupt & criminally conniving cult could have been catastrophically worse if this had happened. . .

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
Whenever bemoaning how tragically terrible the aggressively avaricious the cult of scientology has been the past 75 years, there is instant relief available—by simply realizing how much worse it could have been.

Scientology would have been infinitely worse if:

IF L. RON HUBBARD OR ANY SCIENTOLOGY CELEBRITY HAD SOMEHOW
DEMONSTRATED THE ABILITY TO "EXTERIORIZE" EVEN JUST ONE TIME.
​

Even a 1 minute demonstration, had it been filmed for posterity in front of a gathering of scientists, stage magicians and other assorted expert debunkers. If Hubbard had just tricked them one time and they could not solve the mystery of how he did it, hundreds of millions of "useful idiots" would have spread out across the world to share the "metaphysical miracle" of Mr. Hubbard's technology.

The list things that could have a triggered critical mass marketing event that would have brought three-quarters of a century of explosively viral expansion to the cult is nearly as vast and endless as the universe itself. Here's another example: What if.....

STEVE JOBS, BILL GATES OR ELON MUSK HAD CLAIMED THAT ALL OF THEIR
MINDBLOWING TECHNOLOGIES WERE THE RESULT OF HAVING ATTAINED
THE STATE OF OT, WHICH GAVE THEM WHOLETRACK RECALL. AND
THAT IS HOW THEY DISCOVERED ANCIENT BILLION YEAR OLD
TECHNOLOGY AND DUSTED IT OFF FOR MODERN TIMES.
​

That would have been bad, right?

Even that could have been far worse if they also added that a few hours of auditing enabled them to become two of the richest humans in history and that "anyone can do it" with just few sessions.

How about this one. . .

WHAT IF A MOUSY BIO-SCIENCE RESEARCHER ACCIDENTALLY
STUMBLED UPON A CURE FOR CANCER (THINK "MOLD ON BREAD"
THE WAY PENICILLIN WAS DISCOVERED) AND HE CLAIMED THAT HE
SAVED BILLIONS OF LIVES ONLY HAPPENED BECAUSE HE RECEIVED
A SINGLE 20 MINUTE AUDITING SESSION FROM L. RON HUBBARD IN THE
1960s. AND THAT'S WHEN HIS IQ SOARED TO 243 AND HE BECAME THE RICHEST
MAN IN THE WORLD OVERNIGHT. AND THEN HE ADDED THAT HE IS NOW
MOMENTS AWAY FROM DISCOVERING HIS NEWEST DISCOVERY OF
HOW EVERYONE CAN LIVE DISEASE FREE TO 250 YEARS OLD
BUT THAT HE WILL ONLY MAKE THIS TECHNOLOGY
AVAILABLE TO SCIENTOLOGISTS ON THE BRIDGE.
​

Yeah, I told that Scientology could be farrrrrrrr worse, when are you people going to start believing me? LOL


...

 

[guanoloco]

Remember when you believed Hubbard and his claims?

I remember one time hearing some lecture talking about the number of different ways to achieve flight and Earth technology only had 2 or 3 off of the list. I wanted to dive into the details behind this number and wondered how "tech" could be recovered from whole track research.



This is a picture of one Stu Pedd - a very thoroughly indoctrinated Scientologist who is 100% standard and on-purpose...furthering Command Intention (which, oddly enough, comes out to be "CI"...sort of like Opp Term comes out to be "OT"...that insouciant Ron!).

 

[Type4_PTS]

Remember when you believed Hubbard and his claims?

I remember one time hearing some lecture talking about the number of different ways to achieve flight and Earth technology only had 2 or 3 off of the list. I wanted to dive into the details behind this number and wondered how "tech" could be recovered from whole track research.

View attachment 29989

This is a picture of one Stu Pedd - a very thoroughly indoctrinated Scientologist who is 100% standard and on-purpose...furthering Command Intention (which, oddly enough, comes out to be "CI"...sort of like Opp Term comes out to be "OT"...that insouciant Ron!).

I believe it was on the Student Hat course where Hubbard spoke about the different ways to achieve flight, maybe in other lectures as well.

 

[guanoloco]

I believe it was on the Student Hat course where Hubbard spoke about the different ways to achieve flight, maybe in other lectures as well.

I bet you're right. Especially if you remember it. Remember all that crap about organ peddles?

On a side not, something has changed with the forum. How do I delete those attachments from my post? I had to sort and dig for the right pic, but the others are still there as attachments. I go to clean that up, but I don't see a way to delete those - like there used to be.

PS I figured it out.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I believe it was on the Student Hat course where Hubbard spoke about the different ways to achieve flight, maybe in other lectures as well.

It's not surprising that Hubbard never mentioned "different ways to achieve flight" away from his cult.

Wait, I need to use that word in sentences until I feel good about it. . .

"The moment I took flight and fled from the Hubbard-Land
theme park, it was by far the biggest win I ever had on this planet!"
​

Okay, I feel good about it. I especially liked my realization that Hubbard-Land is the only theme park on the entire wholetrack that stationed security guards (Innocuously called "ethics officers") at all the exit gates to prevent paying customers from exteriorizing before they had paid for and done all the rides.

..

 

[Type4_PTS]

It's not surprising that Hubbard never mentioned "different ways to achieve flight" away from his cult.

Wait, I need to use that word in sentences until I feel good about it. . .

"The moment I took flight and fled from the Hubbard-Land
theme park, it was by far the biggest win I ever had on this planet!"
​

Okay, I feel good about it. I especially liked my realization that Hubbard-Land is the only theme park on the entire wholetrack that stationed security guards (Innocuously called "ethics officers") at all the exit gates to prevent paying customers from exteriorizing before they had paid for and done all the rides.

..

It's funny you mentioned a Hubbard-Land theme park. I woke up around 4 a.m. this morning, and after reading IL2L's post in the stupid thread, somehow the idea of a REAL Scientology theme park came to mind. LOL Kind of a cross between Dollywood and Universal Studios. One of the rides that keeps coming to mind is a Universal Studios-type experience where visitors are put into a simulated environment that looks like they're on Venus, and they almost get hit by a freight train. On another one, they're captured by an intergalactic warlord, transported by DC 9 to another planet, and dropped into a volcano. And just before they're blown up with an atomic bomb, they get rescued by a group of Volunteer Ministers.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

It's funny you mentioned a Hubbard-Land theme park. I woke up around 4 a.m. this morning, and after reading IL2L's post in the stupid thread, somehow the idea of a REAL Scientology theme park came to mind. LOL Kind of a cross between Dollywood and Universal Studios. One of the rides that keeps coming to mind is a Universal Studios-type experience where visitors are put into a simulated environment that looks like they're on Venus, and they almost get hit by a freight train. On another one, they're captured by an intergalactic warlord, transported by DC 9 to another planet, and dropped into a volcano. And just before they're blown up with an atomic bomb, they get rescued by a group of Volunteer Ministers.

LOL

Yeah, you're right, an entire industry could be created with merchandising/licensing revenues into the billions.

Example: Feature length motion pictures that magnetically attract teenagers to the cult, just like the teen-horror movies and multi-part franchises like "FRIDAY THE 13th" part 11.

Scientology could produce their own horror movies and call them:

THURSDAY THE 13th (at 2pm!)

.​

...

 

[guanoloco]

It's funny you mentioned a Hubbard-Land theme park. I woke up around 4 a.m. this morning, and after reading IL2L's post in the stupid thread, somehow the idea of a REAL Scientology theme park came to mind. LOL Kind of a cross between Dollywood and Universal Studios. One of the rides that keeps coming to mind is a Universal Studios-type experience where visitors are put into a simulated environment that looks like they're on Venus, and they almost get hit by a freight train. On another one, they're captured by an intergalactic warlord, transported by DC 9 to another planet, and dropped into a volcano. And just before they're blown up with an atomic bomb, they get rescued by a group of Volunteer Ministers.

Here would be one of their favorite rides:





Gorilla Goals Galore!

The Gorilla Goals were a series of implants created by invaders from Helatrobus "between about 319 trillion years ago to about 256 trillion trillion years ago" (or 89 trillion trillion years ago in another Hubbard lecture). They were

given in an amusement park with a single tunnel, a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel ... The symbol of a Gorilla was always present in the place the goal was given. Sometimes a large gorilla, black, was seen elsewhere than the park. A mechanical or a live gorilla was always seen in the park.

This activity was conducted by the Hoipolloi, a group of operators in meat body societies. They were typical carnival people. They let out concessions for these implant "Amusement Parks." A pink-striped white shirt with sleeve garters was the uniform of the Hoipolloi. Such a figure often rode on the roller coaster cars. Monkeys were also used on the cars. Elephants sometimes formed part of the equipment.


("Routine 3N: Line Plots", HCOB 14 July] 1963)

The Hoipolloi used "fantastic motion" as well as "blasts of raw electricity and explosions" to brainwash the hapless thetans into accepting the Gorilla Goals. The goals themselves were a series of simple tasks intended to trick the thetans into limiting their inherent abilities, with the goals including "To End", "To be Dead", "To be Asleep", "To be Solid", "To be Sexual" and so on.

 

[Type4_PTS]

 

[guanoloco]

View attachment 30010

We need an amusement park routing form!

That way you don't miss any rides!

 

[guanoloco]

View attachment 30010

...another fun house event - Run the Reg Maze!

 

[Type4_PTS]

Here would be one of their favorite rides:

View attachment 30008



Gorilla Goals Galore!

The Gorilla Goals were a series of implants created by invaders from Helatrobus "between about 319 trillion years ago to about 256 trillion trillion years ago" (or 89 trillion trillion years ago in another Hubbard lecture). They were




The Hoipolloi used "fantastic motion" as well as "blasts of raw electricity and explosions" to brainwash the hapless thetans into accepting the Gorilla Goals. The goals themselves were a series of simple tasks intended to trick the thetans into limiting their inherent abilities, with the goals including "To End", "To be Dead", "To be Asleep", "To be Solid", "To be Sexual" and so on.

 

[guanoloco]

Here's some more fun rides at the park!

It would be "The Needle Drop" where you can "ride the needle" where all sorts of fun manifestations happen like the Theta Bop and the Rock Slam and the Stage 4!

You first go up on the Needle "rise".

 

[ILove2Lurk]

@Type4_PTS Jaw-dropping posters. So good! So hilarious! Respect.

 

[Operating DB]

Yay! A fun new thread!

 

[Type4_PTS]

.Yeah, I told that Scientology could be farrrrrrrr worse, when are you people going to start believing me? LOL
...

Had one of those things happened, and Scientology became the dominant (and only legal) religion on the planet, it would be far worse.
All of us here may have been "disposed of without sorrow".

SP's would have billions of people willing to practice Fair Game upon them. Your electric company would disconnect you if you're no longer in good standing.

 

[XenuHimself]

The ‘obscene dog’ ride is a hoot. Trust me.

 

[Type4_PTS]

The ‘obscene dog’ ride is a hoot. Trust me.

Yeah, it's one of the biggest attractions!









“There is the incident called ‘The Obscene Dog’ that comes on the track just a little later than Incident One. And sometimes actually by running it, you can get the PC into Incident One. The Obscene Dog is a sort of a brass dog in a sitting position. Anybody that got around in front of the dog got caught in some electronic current and passed through the dog to the dog’s rear end and spat out. Thetans didn’t like this.”
— L. Ron Hubbard, “Assists,” Class VIII Course, Lecture #10

 

[I M Dex]

Yeah, it's one of the biggest attractions!




View attachment 30013




“There is the incident called ‘The Obscene Dog’ that comes on the track just a little later than Incident One. And sometimes actually by running it, you can get the PC into Incident One. The Obscene Dog is a sort of a brass dog in a sitting position. Anybody that got around in front of the dog got caught in some electronic current and passed through the dog to the dog’s rear end and spat out. Thetans didn’t like this.”
— L. Ron Hubbard, “Assists,” Class VIII Course, Lecture #10

Yeah, I hate when that happens.

 

[guanoloco]

The ‘obscene dog’ ride is a hoot. Trust me.

Yeah, it's one of the biggest attractions!




View attachment 30013




“There is the incident called ‘The Obscene Dog’ that comes on the track just a little later than Incident One. And sometimes actually by running it, you can get the PC into Incident One. The Obscene Dog is a sort of a brass dog in a sitting position. Anybody that got around in front of the dog got caught in some electronic current and passed through the dog to the dog’s rear end and spat out. Thetans didn’t like this.”
— L. Ron Hubbard, “Assists,” Class VIII Course, Lecture #10

What's the say about ya if this is your favorite ride....asking for a friend...