Hello, any help is appreciated

[Neverwantedthis!]

Hello, I’m in LA and divorcing a Scientologist. This would be good news except we have a three year old daughter.

My daughter’s grand father on the crazy side was Ernie Martin, supposedly a bullfighter, kha khan, and friend of Ron himself. I would love to find someone who knew him or his wife from the 70’s. My understanding is that he was a pretty horrible person.

Also, any advice on what to expect and how to keep my daughter out of this crap would be appreciated.

Thank you!

 

[I M Dex]

Hi, I was in a similar situation years ago, divorcing a Scientologist on staff at the local org and having two young children. The best strategy to prevent the child being indoctrinated into the cult is to have primary physical custody, and thereby, primary power of decision. The winning argument to make is that it is in the best interests of the child, and to be able to successfully argue for that for more reasons than only exposure to Scientology. If your ex is going to try to "disconnect" you from access to the child and argue for that, you could use that to your advantage and make an accepted and persuasive point, i.e., "the doctrine of the friendly parent", being, "that parent who will encourage and support a good relationship between the child and the opposite parent is the better parent". While family law differs in some respects from state to state, this principle is universal.
I had the drive and skills to study family law and become something of an acknowledged expert, and represented myself in court ("pro se"). I gained transfer of custody to me. In court, my ex had the backing of Scientology to bring in a Scientology friend to testify as an "educator" on her behalf. I successfully challenged her credentials and her credibility, as part of prevailing over my ex's team of 3 attorneys.
You may fare better with representation if you feel this is too much of a challenge, but if so I would recommend finding representation with someone who seems to really care about making this happen for you and your child, and isn't too arrogant to incorporate my suggestions into their strategy.
Try to always keep in mind, even though things can get stressful and you won't win every battle, in the big picture, in the long run, everything will be ok. Any upsetting moment or situation is not "how things will be forever", although it might feel that threatening for that moment.

 

[Enthetan]

Done correctly, you have a good chance of gaining custody. A 3yo requires attention and day-care, etc, which the org would see as distracting your ex from giving his full attention to Scientology. Phrase it that way to org people. They care FAR more about next week's "stat" than a potential new Scientologist 10 years from now.

Are you financially able to support the child without need of child-support from the ex?If so, that can be a reserve "carrot" from the org's perspective. Every dollar not spent elsewhere, is a dollar they can try to extract from the ex. Save this carrot for your making an offer of sole physical and legal custody,

You may even take the tactic of talking to the MAA or Chaplain directly, without your ex. See if you can convince them that it's in the org's best interest to give you the kid. Do you have a lawyer who could negotiate for you?

It may be a good idea to make very clear that you will not care if they "declare" you, and that you are willing to have this turn into a very "out-PR flap" unless you get custody. (Save this argument for ONLY if they start threatening you with expulsion. The second you make it, then OSA may get involved, and you don't want that)

Start with the carrot, but be prepared to haul out the stick.

Keep in mind that family courts favor the mother. You didn't say which you were.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV.

 

[I M Dex]

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV.

Whose fault is that? Did you even attend a casting call?

 

[Type4_PTS]

Done correctly, you have a good chance of gaining custody. A 3yo requires attention and day-care, etc, which the org would see as distracting your ex from giving his full attention to Scientology. Phrase it that way to org people. They care FAR more about next week's "stat" than a potential new Scientologist 10 years from now.

True, and any Org Ethics Officer will put pressure on a Scientologist to choose Scientology over family. That's why Tom Cruise disconnected from his own daughter.

 

[Isaac]

Scientologists divorcing are encouraged to never be in any kind of legal battles…ever
Snapping terminals with the courts are highly di$couraged… brings on heavy ethic$ cycle$
The tech is designed to make them feel like they’re always winning even when they’re losing
So active $cientologists divorcing someone not active will settle quickly
so they can keep the show on the road….

Use that to your advantage

 

[Scooter]

You are in a shitty, messy situation. Have helped others in the same sort of place so this is what I suggest you do:

Get hold of PTS/SP materials (hard copy if you can) and get a good lawyer who is happy to take you on. One that's aware that the fight will be against the kult only until the kult decide that it's NOT in the kult's interest to have their dirty laundry aired in a courtroom setting. Kult will then pressure your ex to give in to keep kult out of courtroom.

Get hold of Kult School materials. Get hold of anything in the public domain from the kult about CCHR, WTH, NarCONon etc., and get the real facts that blow the kult PR crap out of the water.

Where on the Bridge is your ex-partner? Are they on a regular study time? Get the relevant references that show how much time the kult expects them on study/in session AND the prices for said "Bridge to Total Freedom" steps. If ex is OT V or above, get the data about 6 month checks: how much time they take, how much money they take, etc..

Get Hubbard's narky words about "wog justice" and "wog laws" and keep them handy. Your legal team need to know this stuff too and have it at their fingertips. Get a few ex. kult members to help - preferably local to you. Having an ex or 2 (preferably trained and processed) willing to sit in a courtroom with your legal team could be a wonderful asset.

In short, make this about keeping YOUR child out of the kult. And why you HAVE to do that for the sake of said child. And how the other parent cannot in good faith give the child time and resources because the kult will be demanding them and $cientology IS the greatest good per kult teachings and all else MUST be subservient to kult. You don't have to keep the kid away from the parent, just the kult.

It's a battle that's not gonna be unicorns farting rainbows of glitter and sparkles. But as a former member of this board used to say, the best way is to get $cientologists practising $cientology in front of witnesses. Then peeps sit up and will take notice.

Hopefully you can work this out with the ex. without having to go to the trenches. But be very aware of what Tom Cruise did to Nichole Kidman and their shared kids - that's what you can't let happen for your sake as well as your kid's.