SuperstarNeilC
Well-known member
When I decided to leave Celebrity Centre International, Hollywood, back in 93, Sunny was my “Terminal”. - She was the staff member I had to liaise with on “My Leaving Staff Routing Form”. (I think she was wearing the MAA hat at the time).
I remember when I had to go to her office, for the first time, to tell her I wanted out of the Sea Org. - I was really nervous before knocking on her, slightly ajar, office door. - I thought that she’d bite my head off and scream and shout at me for wanting to exit the SO. (Screaming and shouting was standard operating procedure at CC Int).
My face was hot and perspiration wetted my forehead. - My heart was thumping. - (Bear in mind I had a romantic crush on Sunny at this time, unbeknownst to her). - My hand was shaking as it was poised at the door, ready to knock.
“Should I just back out, and forget about Leaving ?” “What about my Eternity ?” “What about Saving the Planet?” “How can I live without Sunny ?” - Thoughts raced through my mind.
“How hard should I knock on the door ?” “If I knocked too lightly, would she scream at me for not employing enough INTENTION ?” - (These sort of micro-analysations had become habitual after two years in the Sea Org).
Anyway, I rapped on the door (not too hard, not too soft) and I heard her say, in her delightful mellifluous voice, “Come in !!”
I entered, in a, I thought befitting, slightly obsequious manner.
She smiled at me (“Hey, she likes me !!”) and said, “Sit down”.
I sat.
With a knot in my stomach and constriction in my throat I unloaded the magazine to her that I wanted out ASAP.
I steeled myself for an explosion of verbal gunpowder about how I was “Out Ethics” “1.1” and “Psychotic”.
But none of that transpired.
Dear Sunny was incredibly sweet about it. - She just sort of half-smiled and extracted a Leaving Staff Routing Form from her desk draw. - (I thought I noticed a twinkle in her eyes). - (I know for a fact, that being around Sunny caused a twinkle in MY eyes.)
During my trips to her office re Leaving, Sunny NEVER ONCE made any negative reference about it. - Not even in her tone of voice, gestures, or mannerisms.
For this I’m eternally grateful. - If I’d been serviced by some other MAA, more of an angry-type, I would have been persuaded (emotionally blackmailed) to stay. - Or if Sunny herself had been an angry-type, she would have persuaded me to stay. - (As I was emotionally fragile at the time and very vulnerable to psychological manipulation).
That Sunny “allowed me to go” so smoothly and silkily is the reason I’m alive now and sat here typing this.
Thank You Sunny, My Remembrances of you will always be VELVETEEN. xx
I remember when I had to go to her office, for the first time, to tell her I wanted out of the Sea Org. - I was really nervous before knocking on her, slightly ajar, office door. - I thought that she’d bite my head off and scream and shout at me for wanting to exit the SO. (Screaming and shouting was standard operating procedure at CC Int).
My face was hot and perspiration wetted my forehead. - My heart was thumping. - (Bear in mind I had a romantic crush on Sunny at this time, unbeknownst to her). - My hand was shaking as it was poised at the door, ready to knock.
“Should I just back out, and forget about Leaving ?” “What about my Eternity ?” “What about Saving the Planet?” “How can I live without Sunny ?” - Thoughts raced through my mind.
“How hard should I knock on the door ?” “If I knocked too lightly, would she scream at me for not employing enough INTENTION ?” - (These sort of micro-analysations had become habitual after two years in the Sea Org).
Anyway, I rapped on the door (not too hard, not too soft) and I heard her say, in her delightful mellifluous voice, “Come in !!”
I entered, in a, I thought befitting, slightly obsequious manner.
She smiled at me (“Hey, she likes me !!”) and said, “Sit down”.
I sat.
With a knot in my stomach and constriction in my throat I unloaded the magazine to her that I wanted out ASAP.
I steeled myself for an explosion of verbal gunpowder about how I was “Out Ethics” “1.1” and “Psychotic”.
But none of that transpired.
Dear Sunny was incredibly sweet about it. - She just sort of half-smiled and extracted a Leaving Staff Routing Form from her desk draw. - (I thought I noticed a twinkle in her eyes). - (I know for a fact, that being around Sunny caused a twinkle in MY eyes.)
During my trips to her office re Leaving, Sunny NEVER ONCE made any negative reference about it. - Not even in her tone of voice, gestures, or mannerisms.
For this I’m eternally grateful. - If I’d been serviced by some other MAA, more of an angry-type, I would have been persuaded (emotionally blackmailed) to stay. - Or if Sunny herself had been an angry-type, she would have persuaded me to stay. - (As I was emotionally fragile at the time and very vulnerable to psychological manipulation).
That Sunny “allowed me to go” so smoothly and silkily is the reason I’m alive now and sat here typing this.
Thank You Sunny, My Remembrances of you will always be VELVETEEN. xx
