TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Hello?

Ron?

Are you there at Target 2?

Somebody get this POS telex machine to work!!!!!

Ron?

Can you hear me now?

Did you hear what I said about sending me money?

Ron?

Hello?

Transmitted from Target II by L. Ron Hubbard

Hello again This is NOT OKAY !!!
.......Your idea about L. Ron Hubbard sending money to you is unfortunately off policy. My research breakthrough on the
184 trillion year old ORG BOARD revealed the universal axiom that finance must always travels UP the command channel,
never downward towards small beings. However, I have great news for you! In exchange for your meaningless mest tokens
that you homo sapiens call "money", I will give you the priceless gift of immortality. Amortized over eternity, this will only
cost you less than one penny per century! ...ML, Ron

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ExitLeft

Member
This is one wild and funny thread!!! Keep up the good work.
I'm still laughing at " I never had a second grade chart" Goodness you had to throw in a pic with the teeth!:LOL::roflmao:

Then I had the song Sara stuck in head for a min.

Oh there are Absolutes - Your Absolute Brilliance!
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
This is one wild and funny thread!!! Keep up the good work.
I'm still laughing at " I never had a second grade chart" Goodness you had to throw in a pic with the teeth!:LOL::roflmao:

Then I had the song Sara stuck in head for a min.

Oh there are Absolutes - Your Absolute Brilliance!

Wow, thanks!

That song, Sara--I hadn't heard it in so long. Some songs just transcend time. Loved it then (1986) and still loved it just now. The lead vocal by Mickey Thomas is really beautiful. Looked up the origins of the song and found out the songwriter was inspired by and named it after Mickey's then-wife Sara.

There were a lot of amazing love songs coming out in the 80's and the two decades preceding it! Another stunning tune/vocal by another guy named "Mick" that comes to mind is Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" (1984). These days when I hear a song I loved back in the day I usually feel so curious about its origins, and look it up. I really like what what Mick Jones said about the mystically ingenious creative process that gave the world that divinely delicious tune. . .

As he sat at the keyboard in the studio of his Kensington apartment, Jones couldn’t decide if his heart was half-empty or half-full. “The song was an expression of my tempestuous private life over the three years before,” he says. “I’d been through a divorce, and met someone else who I was going to marry. There’d been turmoil in the band through the huge pressure of selling millions of albums, and me and Lou [Gramm, vocals] were entering a cold-war situation. I’d just come back to England from New York and was happy to be in touch with my roots. So it was an emotional time that stirred up a lot of things. Insomnia had its benefits for Mick Jones in the 80s. As night fell on the circus his life had become since Foreigner released their all-conquering album, 4, in 1981, the guitarist found himself with room to breathe and time to write. “I always worked late at night, when everybody left and the phone stopped ringing,” Jones recalls. “I Want To Know What Love Is came up at three in the morning sometime in 1984. I don’t know where it came from. I consider it a gift that was sent through me. I think there was something bigger than me behind it. I’d say it was probably written entirely by a higher force.”
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SUMMARY: All those profoundly powerful emotions he was feeling at that moment in his life. It's a good thing he was not a Scientologist or they would have already audited out all those unproductive "misemotions". LOL



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
..



That promo piece reminds me of the international event where the world's
MOST MYSTICALLY MIRACULOUS MESSIANIC MOVIESTAR
was the first being ever to complete the still unreleased OT IX.

- FIRST OT IX COMPLETION -



The first scientifically confirmed state of
MANUS LEVITATUS

Mr. Cruise shares his OT win: "I still cannot believe the speed
of these upper levels! I was only 17 minutes into my first OT IX
session when suddenly both of my hands began floating into
mid-air and I realized I was doing it with postulates alone!
A few minutes later I had already attested to completing
the level and I just smiled to myself, knowing that I
am complete cause over subjective and objective
Matter Energy Space & Time, on all dynamics
on this planet and in this sector."

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ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
Though finding empty parking spaces is a common EP on the lower OT levels,
as evidenced by many stories in Advance mag, OT9 takes the ability one step
further. OT9s can find empty parking spaces in Los Angeles and far away
from any homeless tents or sleeping bags to the right of the spaces.



Sorry LA denizens for the cheap laugh. :innocent:
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Though finding empty parking spaces is a common EP on the lower OT levels,
as evidenced by many stories in Advance mag, OT9 takes the ability one step
further. OT9s can find empty parking spaces in Los Angeles and far away
from any homeless tents or sleeping bags to the right of the spaces.



Sorry LA denizens for the cheap laugh. :innocent:
.
LOL

If one reads the "OT SUCCESS STORIES" published in "Advance! Magazine", we are treated to the most spectacular supernatural powers and miracles experienced by recent OT level completions. Although I am a "clear", I still don't know if my (perfect) memory is playing tricks on me or if there were a LOT of major supernatural parking experiences, where the OT found a parking space.

It makes no sense because even ordinary (never-audited) "homo sapiens" find parking spaces, so how in the world did they do that?!

Even stranger is this. If the OT's "postulate" (wish/intention) to find a parking space is the actual reason someone came out of a store and moved their car, just at the right moment---please consider the following:

- - That means the person shopping in the store ONLY stopped shopping, exited the store and got in their vehicle and drove away because of the OT's postulate. If not, then the OT who magically "found" or "postulated" a parking space had nothing to do with it. Ergo, it was just sheer coincidence that someone moved their car as they were driving by.​

- - However, if it was the "postulate" which created the miracle that means that the OT's "tone 40 intention" overwhelmed the shopper's intention (to buy something they needed). Honestly, how bizarre is it that the wog is driving home without the thing they went to that store to buy? LOL.​

Maybe in a perverse sense, that is the miraculous power that Scientologists gain. The power to overwhelm others and hijack their SPACE and other MEST, like time and money.

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ExitLeft

Member
Wow, thanks!

That song, Sara--I hadn't heard it in so long. Some songs just transcend time. Loved it then (1986) and still loved it just now. The lead vocal by Mickey Thomas is really beautiful. Looked up the origins of the song and found out the songwriter was inspired by and named it after Mickey's then-wife Sara.

There were a lot of amazing love songs coming out in the 80's and the two decades preceding it! Another stunning tune/vocal by another guy named "Mick" that comes to mind is Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" (1984). These days when I hear a song I loved back in the day I usually feel so curious about its origins, and look it up. I really like what what Mick Jones said about the mystically ingenious creative process that gave the world that divinely delicious tune. . .

As he sat at the keyboard in the studio of his Kensington apartment, Jones couldn’t decide if his heart was half-empty or half-full. “The song was an expression of my tempestuous private life over the three years before,” he says. “I’d been through a divorce, and met someone else who I was going to marry. There’d been turmoil in the band through the huge pressure of selling millions of albums, and me and Lou [Gramm, vocals] were entering a cold-war situation. I’d just come back to England from New York and was happy to be in touch with my roots. So it was an emotional time that stirred up a lot of things. Insomnia had its benefits for Mick Jones in the 80s. As night fell on the circus his life had become since Foreigner released their all-conquering album, 4, in 1981, the guitarist found himself with room to breathe and time to write. “I always worked late at night, when everybody left and the phone stopped ringing,” Jones recalls. “I Want To Know What Love Is came up at three in the morning sometime in 1984. I don’t know where it came from. I consider it a gift that was sent through me. I think there was something bigger than me behind it. I’d say it was probably written entirely by a higher force.”
.
SUMMARY: All those profoundly powerful emotions he was feeling at that moment in his life. It's a good thing he was not a Scientologist or they would have already audited out all those unproductive "misemotions". LOL



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Thank you too for the followup - Great summary too.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
The TOP SUPER STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY thread has over the years made quite a long list of things that Scientology is really not good at.

For example, they are not good at making Clears, making OTs or giving anyone "Total Freedom". In the past 71 years they never once did what they have bragged about in all the tens of millions of words on all those tapes, bulletins, policies, codes, charts and scales.

That is some kind of intergalactic record to fail 100% of the time for nearly three-quarters of a century!

Surely there must be SOMETHING that Scientology is good at!

In the interests of fairness, we will try to make a list of all the things Scientology and Scientologists are really really really good at:

1. Lying!​
2. Acting like they are uptone and winning!​
3. Pretending they are "total cause"!​
4. Cleverly defrauding others out of their money and time!​
5. When confronted with 1-4 above, fanatically attacking and fair gaming​
.....the evil whistleblowing SP!​

Okay, so in fact Scientology is great at 5 things!

Please pick up a free SUCCESS STORY form when you leave and write up your wins!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
ETA: When I started reading Marty's blog in 2015 there were still a lot of "vigorous debates" going on about the potential "plus points and out points" of parts of the subject of scn itself, not the cherch. There was even a debate about whether or not a thetan has a "tiny bit of mass". It didn't get resolved. . .
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Since 2015, there have been some quantum leaps from scientists on the eternal question of whether the thetan has any mass. A leading researcher, scientist and physicist published a following peer-reviewed from which the excerpts below are sourced:

"Until the very recent advent of ultra-sensitive quantum measuring devices, it was impossible to measure the mass of the human spirit. Notwithstanding those previous limitations and pursuant to a multi-year study, today (4/01) I was able to scientifically demonstrate that a being's mass (rather than being a constant) reflects an ever-changing metric. Three hundred subjects participated, divided into three respective groups of 100 each, in order to detect any mass and/or variations (increase/decrease) in their relative mass.
Category I contained subjects that neither had any detectable mass nor any history of evidencing mass.
Category II contained subjects that on rare occasion evidenced an anomalous and momentary appearance
of mass that quickly dissipated.
Category III contained subjects that manifested an ever-present presence of mass which was quantifiable
as a "critical mass".
CONCLUSION: Over sufficient periods of time, all subjects in Category I inevitably transitioned into Category II. And, likewise, all Category II subjects, once attaining "Critical Mass" instantly evolved into Category III* and remained there without cessation." -Don Hubbard, Physicist & Founder of the Hokes Institute.
* Category I was comprised exclusively of thetans in good standing within the Church of Scientology. Category II was comprised of "Independent" Scientologists. Category III, having attained "Critical Mass" blew from all forms of Scientology due to either having amassed enough overts to become "critical", and/or due to having somehow acquired "critical" thinking skills.
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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posted by ILove2Lurk

Don Hubbard, Physicist &
Founder of the Hokes Institute
The early years




lol lol lol lol lol !

A marvelous (and rare!) archive photo of L. Don Hubbard! (cv below)

I did a little research on that mystical photo and found the explanation in the excerpt below:


(wikipedia): ". . . a photo of Don Hubbard as seen in his underground lab and testing ground at the newly
formed Hokes Institute. It was a period of his life just after his harrowing escape from a Scientology prison
and after a full 5 years of roaming the planet disguised as a Hobo--in order to evade his twin brother
Ron's wrath and all of the OSA goons stalking and trying to shatter him. After leaving Scientology Don
was both lame and blind, which served as ample incentive to cure himself by developing a new science called
Hobonetics. In the astonishing photo above we can clearly see Dons two walking canes at the very
moment that he erased the engram that prevented him from walking or even standing without assistance.
As the charge began to blow off, the canes began to emit an ethereal glow---and miraculously Don stood
straight up and began to effortlessly perform Gene Kelly's dance routine from 'Singing In The Rain'. "

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Amazingly, Don hasn't aged a bit since that photo was taken in "the early years". :thumbsup:
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LOL!

You are in fact commenting on Don Hubbard's REJUVENATION RUNDOWN, that he developed back in Wichita in the 1950s. During the pilot people began to experience miraculous wins when their skin lost all its imperfections and wrinkles and time itself was reversed to the point where PCs appeared 30 or more years younger!

The "rejuvenation effect" was so overwhelmingly successful that Don had to suddenly abandon the pilot when he was unable to stop the regressions and also unable to buy cigarettes because he appeared to be 11 years old.

Be sure to buy the entire collection of Don Magazines, beginning with "DON THE REJUVENATOR"!

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Zertel

Well-known member
.


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Since 2015, there have been some quantum leaps from scientists on the eternal question of whether the thetan has any mass. A leading researcher, scientist and physicist published a following peer-reviewed from which the excerpts below are sourced:

"Until the very recent advent of ultra-sensitive quantum measuring devices, it was impossible to measure the mass of the human spirit. Notwithstanding those previous limitations and pursuant to a multi-year study, today (4/01) I was able to scientifically demonstrate that a being's mass (rather than being a constant) reflects an ever-changing metric. Three hundred subjects participated, divided into three respective groups of 100 each, in order to detect any mass and/or variations (increase/decrease) in their relative mass.
Category I contained subjects that neither had any detectable mass nor any history of evidencing mass.
Category II contained subjects that on rare occasion evidenced an anomalous and momentary appearance
of mass that quickly dissipated.
Category III contained subjects that manifested an ever-present presence of mass which was quantifiable
as a "critical mass".
CONCLUSION: Over sufficient periods of time, all subjects in Category I inevitably transitioned into Category II. And, likewise, all Category II subjects, once attaining "Critical Mass" instantly evolved into Category III* and remained there without cessation." -Don Hubbard, Physicist & Founder of the Hokes Institute.
* Category I was comprised exclusively of thetans in good standing within the Church of Scientology. Category II was comprised of "Independent" Scientologists. Category III, having attained "Critical Mass" blew from all forms of Scientology due to either having amassed enough overts to become "critical", and/or due to having somehow acquired "critical" thinking skills.
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Lol - A debate about whether a thetan has any mass might seem like a silly discussion. However . . . . . nobody would be able to see Casper The Ghost (or any other ghost) unless the ghost has at least a little bit of mass to work with.

It's said that when the monks got into such arguments the Buddha instructed them to, "Just focus on the breathing." haha
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

originally posted by the
underground apostate
ILove2Lurk



- - - - - -


LOL LOL LOL!


I just ordered the DON MAGAZINE deluxe set!




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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Another wacky-woo quote by Hubbard memorialized in Tony Ortega's UNDERGROUND BUNKER. It's also quoted on this message board at this link: LINK

“One of the prime principles you must know about any universe to keep it in a good, messy, chaotic, solid, disordered form is to take no responsibility for ever having created it. Say, ‘God did it,’ you’ve practically got it made! And the more you say, ‘God did it,’ the more solid the universe is going to get — if you made it up. Get the idea? Listen, if God made it and that was the true ownership of it, it would disappear! Because that’s assignment of proper ownership; that’s taking a full responsibility for it. That’s understanding exactly what its source was. And it would disappear, just like that.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 9, 1959

It is included here in the SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY thread because that is one of the core cult crazies---the doctrine that things will "disappear" the moment you look at them as they really are. This magical belief has been around since 1950 when "Dr" Hubbard made the outrageous claim that parts of one's mind (The Reactive Mind) will instantly disappear when you confront engrams. And the physical universe MASS will also disappear. Yes, vanish. That's right, as in----POOF!!!

The entirety of Hubbard's hoax for the past 71 years has as its foundation that you can "AS-IS" (make vanish) anything that is bothering you by simply looking at it. Even the degraded disease called Homo Sapiens can be cured and that state will disappear if you go clear and become a Homo Novis.

Even Ron's billion dollar tax problems disappeared when he applied Scientology tech. To be specific, when he applied the "we are not really a science, we're a church" technology. His tax bill magically disappeared!

That's what Scientologists do! That's all they do. Make things disappear.

Except nothing ever actually disappears in Scientology, with one lone exception. Your money.



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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It has been proven countless numbers of times that Scientologists waste decades and vast sums of money trying but attempting to gain godlike magical powers. Moment by moment they believe that (if they only pay for their next level) they will finally attain supernatural abilities to realize anything in the universe they ever wished for.

This entire delusion is actually quite pathetic because no Scientologist has ever manifested even one paranormal ability. Yet they carry on with a huge silly grin as if everything is going splendidly.

To be fair, we should probably take a moment and consider what Scientologists ARE able to do and what (if any) skill they DO learn.

ANSWER: The ability and skill of convincing other people that it's quite easy for anyone to attain magical powers if they join Scientology and pay for their next level. That is something they can do. Ergo, the only skill Scientologists learn is to lie to others and themselves.


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