TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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from a conversation on another thread that had
something surrealistically stupid on it. . .

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I forgot how actually easy that made life!!!! Thanks for that. Here I have been trying to explain to myself that the current scene in America has just restimulated my own overts!! Oh, and everyone that doesn't understand must have mu's. I can spot check like a mofo, and I know that I can look at a page and find the low percentage word or idiom and nail you with it!!! Believe me, I knew my shit. I can still verbatim the ten points. Don't try me. I can write one helluva chit. WTF. I was called an SP and it upset me. A guy I knew blew and said I was an SP, that was ions ago. Oh, and how I miss the days when a protest outside the org meant tech staff does an OW write up.

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LOL. Funny post! Now about that last line. I have no idea and thus must ask you. Did that ever really happen? People protesting outside the org meant that tech staff did an OW write up? Honestly, I cannot even guess if that is true or whether it's brilliant satire. LOL LOL LOL ​

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I wish that it was my brilliance, however it's true. You could have a game show called "Did That Really Happen??" and have people guess whether or not something was true. Yes indeed, that was the handling, or one of the handlings for protesters. Yes it's true.

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OMG. WTF LOL.​

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I guess in a Scientological way it makes sense that strangers show up at your place of work because you haven't written down on a piece of paper things from the past that you regret having done. ​

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If you merely think of those things (but don't write it down on a piece of paper) strangers don't show up. That tech is very confusing because I thought staff members want strangers to show up at the org. ​

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In any case, it is quite apparent that I should not be fooling around with such powerful technology. By way of example, just last week I had an "unwelcome visitor" at my house---the rain, because there was a crazy non-stop downpour for 3 days straight! I thought I could easily solve that when I remembered that writing things down on paper brings about magical events---like the time when all of Scientology's OT 7s in solo-auditing sessions wrote things down on worksheets and shortly thereafter the Berlin Wall came down! ​

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So, when that incessant rain would just not stop, I decided to write some things down on paper--and then something quite miraculous happened! The retaining wall around my home came down and my house was buried in a massive mudslide. ​

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SUMMARY: Even if you have already attained miraculous OT powers, you still have to learn how to properly use them. Get trained people!​

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[NotsoNutsoNow]

There is a connection between the Cult of $cientology and Christianity - El Con was Satan Sent.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

The Mars rover Perseverance took seven months to arrive from Earth.

The first digital info package about Hubbard's latest shtick took seven years to arrive from Target II,
via an interplanetary radio transmission. (Must be pretty far away.)

Here is what we know, so far.

Hubbard is up to his old tricks . . . with a new spin. He is positioning himself as a newly arrived
mental scientist from the far reaches of outer space, bringing with him a wide array of innovative
techniques to help the Target II civilization. Some of the promo makes these claims:

My ideas can be your ideas
My mind can be in your mind
The Modern Science of Imagination Therapy
Expand your mind & worldview exponentially by
unleashing the hidden powers of your imagination

[ click to enlarge ]




More reveals coming as we slog through the materials.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

 

[ExitLeft]

Brilliant!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by ILove2Lurk

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LOL!

It's so great that Dr. Hubbard is finally sending messages from Target 2 back to our slave planet in this sector.

NASA just released the first graphic transmissions and it is obvious that LRH is flourishing and prospering!

[Target 2] - Ron reveals his latest technical breakthrough
to new public that have just been body routed
into his "NEW ST. HILL" org.



"Now back on Earth, I invented fire, the wheel and Dianetics and naturally
I quickly became the most celebrated and beloved scientist on that planet.
However, here at Target 2 I have made the greatest discovery in the history of the
entire universe and finally taped the path to Clear---which will make you infinitely
happy and give you magical powers and endow you with spiritual wealth. Now,
talking about wealth--I'd absolutely love to reveal to you today the cosmic
secret I discovered in my newest book, Imaginetics 55, which will make
you rich beyond your wildest dreams. But, I just noticed you people are
not wearing any clothes or carrying billfolds or wallets, so let me first brief
you about another miraculous discovery I made----called MEST money!" -LRH

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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cross-posted from another thread discussing
the "before, during & after" personality of Scientologists. . .

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I love this. If that doesn't just sum up everything... well shucks.

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Thx!

Scientology is famous for such surprise endings. Here's another. . .

FIRST DAY IN SCIENTOLOGY: Scientologists begin frantically lecturing you: "It's your reactive mind!!! It's your reactive mind!!! It's your reactive mind!!!"​

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HALF WAY THRU SCIENTOLOGY: Scientologists give you a moment of applause (when you go Clear) and then immediately begin frantically lecturing you: "It's other's reactive mind!!! It's other's reactive mind!!! It's other's reactive mind!!!" Thus begins the OT 1 thru OT VIII portion of the Bridge--chasing and trying to erase BT's cases.​

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LAST DAY IN SCIENTOLOGY: Scientologists begin frantically lecturing you: "It's your crimes!!! It's your crimes!!! It's your crimes!!!" But by this point you have developed a healthy immunity to the cult's rhetorical gimmicks, lies & gaslighting---and blow anyways.​

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[Enthetan]

"The woman who’d been by my side while I developed Dianetics---there was no second wife! -L. Ron Hubbard

I would have liked to say "if there was no second wife, then what is Mary Sue's status?"

 

[guanoloco]

I would have liked to say "if there was no second wife, then what is Mary Sue's status?"

Exactly!

He's in an interview.

The interviewer asks him what happened to his first wife.

Hubbard: she's dead and I'm currently happily married now to Mary Sue.

Interviewer: what about your 2nd wife?

Hubbard: there was no 2nd wife.

WHAT? Who, having just mentioned two wives, would answer that there is no 2nd wife?

The correct answer here if Hubbard truthfully didn't have a 2nd wife that would've bumped Mary Sue to #3 that he's trying to hide and cover up about would be "aren't you hearing me? My 2nd wife I'm currently happily married to and her name is Mary Sue."

This is such a busted-wide-bald-faced-lie moment.

Absurd.

 

[Dotey OT]

I was lamenting the current times concerning Dr. Seuss, and how many books I read as a kid. To soften the malaise, I thought what it might be like to have a fusion of Ted Geisel and his L-Ness,

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"Imagine, if you will, you are in a world of a little fact, and a seemingly endless amount of fantasy."

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"Imagine again, if you will, these fantasy worlds intersected, and took on a life of their own..."

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by Dotey OT

[

"Imagine again, if you will, these fantasy worlds
intersected, and took on a life of their own..."

- - - - -

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LOL!

Here's another story by Dr. Seuss about another Doctor.

Dr. Hubbard!

Not that one. . .

This one---
[from 2013 ESMB]





GREEN POLICY & SCAM

Do you like green Policy and scam?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

I do not like green Policy and scam!

Would you like objective commands here or there? 



I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.



Would you like objective commands near or far?


I would not like them near or far.

I would not like objectives in a car.
I would not like them in a bar.

Paying to look at things seems quite bizarre!

I do not like green Policy and scam!

I hope my TR-2 stops your objectives flim-flam,
I think I'll just stay the way I am,
Thank you! Thank you!
Sam-I-am!
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[Chuck J.]

I believe there is some inherent racism involved in that Pepe Lepew and Speedy Gonzales have also been cancelled yet there is no public outcry like Dr. Seuss characters have received! I've emailed Rep. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez and requested she look into this unconscionable situation regarding our Latinx cartoon characters. I demand equal public outcry!

 

[Lee #28]

I always thought Pepe Le Pew......was a joke at the French...

 

[Chuck J.]

I always thought Pepe Le Pew......was a joke at the French...

Yes, and apparently he is a sexual predator or something. He sets a bad example in the cartoon universe and thus must be cancelled. I've heard that a new character modeled on Pepe with be coming out, named Bruce Lepew.

 

[guanoloco]

The whole Pepe Lepew thing shows the "glass half full/glass half empty" of feminism.

It's always a negative critique.

Far from making it OK for rape culture Pepe was clear for everyone that he was a joke and what not to do.

They can't think, though, and must perpetuate the butthurt everywhere they can.

 

[Enthetan]

I always thought Pepe Le Pew......was a joke at the French...

An analysis I heard: Characters like Pepe le Pew, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Wile E Coyote -- they were lessons to kids in how NOT to behave. They were obnoxious and full of themselves, and the kids could see that they were absurd failures as a result of their own character flaws.

The "cool" characters, Bugs Bunny, Speedy Gonzolez, Road Runner -- they won because they were truly smarter than the arrogant ones, and kept their cool. These were the role models.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY WORKS!

HOW IT WORKS. . .

Ron's R-Factor To Parishioners
It's your duty to donate all your time and all your money to Source.

Ron's R-Factor To Family (e.g. his wife)
You need to have a personal conviction. After your
conviction, you need to go to federal prison
so that Ron doesn't have to.

Ron's R-Factor To Self
Trick everyone by "discovering" higher motivational
levels than personal gain---so that they incorrectly assume
you must certainly be operating at the upper altitudes of altruism.

Ron's R-Factor To All His Servants, Staff & Slaves
It's your "highest duty" to operate at the lowest level.
("Make money, make more money, make others produce so as to make money!")

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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THE PITIFUL PREDICTIONS & PREPOSTEROUS
PROPHESIES OF L. RON HUBBARD​

“Do you know that absolutely standard tech, complete, proper, hair line standard tech, used in organizations throughout the world, will at least triple the stats of each within 90 days? Couldn’t help it. And if it was really applied in a business-like fashion, and nobody messed it up in any way, shape, or form, one of our Division 5 people said we might even be able to take the planet within a year. It is hot.” — L. Ron Hubbard, September 24, 1968​

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LET'S DO THE NUMBERS: At the time Hubbard made that bold 3X assertion in September of 1968, Scientology had just recently released "100% standard tech" as well as reporting that they already had 5 million members. Let's now enjoy the shock & awe of those 90 day expansion miracles!​

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September 1968: 5,000,000 Scientologists.​

October 1968: 15,000,000 Scientologists. ​

January 1969: 45,000,000 Scientologists.​

April 1969: 135,000,000 Scientologists.​

July 1969: 405,000,000 Scientologists.​

Oct 1969: 1,215,000,000 Scientologists.​

Jan 1970: 3,645,000,000 Scientologists.​

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In January 1970 the world's population was 3.6 billion people. Therefore, all beings on this planet were on the Bridge! And, per DMSMH, the state of Clear could be attained in only 20 hours of processing. Therefore, if everyone only co-audited 2.5 hours a week, the planet would have been cleared by March of 1970.​

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CONCLUSION: The science therefore supports and proves the fact that Scientology did in fact Clear the planet 50 years ago!​

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EXPLANATION: Often Scientology's miraculous achievements are so supernaturally spectacular that it is above the reality and the havingness level of homo sapiens, so they don't even notice when it happens.​

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.​

 

[Chuck J.]

An analysis I heard: Characters like Pepe le Pew, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Wile E Coyote -- they were lessons to kids in how NOT to behave. They were obnoxious and full of themselves, and the kids could see that they were absurd failures as a result of their own character flaws.

The "cool" characters, Bugs Bunny, Speedy Gonzolez, Road Runner -- they won because they were truly smarter than the arrogant ones, and kept their cool. These were the role models.

Spot on as an analysis.

And as Mr. G. Loco mentioned in his post - as a kid you just almost immediately grasp the situation without even really thinking about it. It's modern day Aesop's Fables, morality tales told in a entertaining way.

Which makes me wonder about the rationality of the butthurt feminists and others on-board with this cancel absurdity. When they were kids, did they not mentally grasp the lessons? Simple lessons.

Why not?

 

[guanoloco]

Spot on as an analysis.

And as Mr. G. Loco mentioned in his post - as a kid you just almost immediately grasp the situation without even really thinking about it. It's modern day Aesop's Fables, morality tales told in a entertaining way.

Which makes me wonder about the rationality of the butthurt feminists and others on-board with this cancel absurdity. When they were kids, did they not mentally grasp the lessons? Simple lessons.

Why not?

It works the same with characters like Archie Bunker, Fred Sanford and George Jefferson. They were modeled off of Fred Flinstone and Ralph Cramden...which probably goes back through time all the way to Greek theater.

The loudmouth ignorant fuckup with the goofy sidekick where they constantly screwed shit up but there's always the underappreciated taken-for-advantage cool-headed problem solver who saves them in spite of themselves like Alice or Lamont.

The screw ups were ignorant, racist bigots while the problem solvers were cool, progressive, advanced and cosmopolitan and understood.

These stereotypes were always lampooned.

Then there was stand up comedy with Richard Pryor, David Brenner, George Carlin, etc. - who made racism and racists the laughing stock of late night TV.

Then countless movies and TV episodes like Little Big Man and Bonanza Hopsing depicting the racist atrocities that occurred.

Roots, Muhammad Ali, all that.

Throughout grade school we were singing:

What color is God’s skin?
I said it’s black brown it’s yellow
It is red it is white.
Ev’ry man’s the same in the good Lord’s sight.

We had posters and quotes of Martin Luther King, Jr. I met Black Elk and we read Black Elk speaks.

It was constant and endless.

And still we have the absolute brain dead asinine cult babble from kids like He-man making "observations" that we are, just now, learning that racism and homophobia aren't cool and that white men are scared of women, gays and brownies.

Same thing.

It's cult programming.

Just like Scientologists pontificating and sermonizing and mimicking Hubbard with their own "observations" on how the mind works or what a "thetan" is doing when they've never personally have observed anything.

This cult programming always comes with arrogance and moralism where it assumes the role of needing to shame and "educate" us lowlife ignoramuses about our whitewashed history that we know nothing about where we've been racist, sexist greedy pigs gripping with fear onto our ignorant privileged supremacist power positions where we indiscriminately bash gays and exploit non-whites while systemically raping women with our oppressive capitalist rape cultures that are systemically racist that kills pathological-sexuals. It also oppressively enforces some "arbitrary" gender binary that was archaicly assigned to the XX/XY binary.

Men can menstrate, you homophobes.

It's science.

 

[Enthetan]

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SCIENTOLOGY WORKS!

HOW IT WORKS. . .

Ron's R-Factor To Parishioners
It's your duty to donate all your time and all your money to Source.

Ron's R-Factor To Family (e.g. his wife)
You need to have a personal conviction. After your
conviction, you need to go to federal prison
so that Ron doesn't have to.

Ron's R-Factor To Self
Trick everyone by "discovering" higher motivational
levels than personal gain---so that they incorrectly assume
you must certainly be operating at the upper altitudes of altruism.

Ron's R-Factor To All His Servants, Staff & Slaves
It's your "highest duty" to operate at the lowest level.
("Make money, make more money, make others produce so as to make money!")

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Summarized: Scientology keeps pounding into you that your DUTY is more important than anything else, and that your DUTY is to Scientology, and that the only way to be a Good Person is by performing your Duty.

This is part of the essence of the trap.