TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
The Cult of $cientology cultists cheating as per usual.

FUN F/Ning FACTS!

Copies of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" can
be purchased today on eBay for only $4.40.
LINK TO EBAY.

Also on EBAY today is another
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY"
that can be purchased for only $6,000.
LINK TO EBAY

Wow, it's in "like-new" condition!

And, best of all
". . .the book has never been fully opened!"



Wait! There is something even more OT and Theta!!!




CONCLUSION: You can buy WHAT IS SCN for just $4.40. However
if it's in a box and also signed by a Sea Org member (who is paid
three dollars per day to render counterfeit LRH autographs
on 100 copies of the book), that works out to an average
of 3 pennies per signature. However, the SO member
who faked Hubbard's signature in 1978 is no longer
a Sea Org member, having blown decades ago.
Let's recap, shall we? If you buy a copy of the
book today on eBay for $4.40, you can find
many blown Sea Org members who will give
you a fake LRH signature for 3 cents. Hence,
you can have a "priceless collectible" signed
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" for only $4.43!
That's a whopping savings of $ 5,995.57! Order now!



.
 

Incognito

Member
FUN F/Ning FACTS!

Copies of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" can
be purchased today on eBay for only $4.40.
LINK TO EBAY.

Also on EBAY today is another
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY"
that can be purchased for only $6,000.
LINK TO EBAY

Wow, it's in "like-new" condition!

And, best of all
". . .the book has never been fully opened!"



Wait! There is something even more OT and Theta!!!




CONCLUSION: You can buy WHAT IS SCN for just $4.40. However
if it's in a box and also signed by a Sea Org member (who is paid
three dollars per day to render counterfeit LRH autographs
on 100 copies of the book), that works out to an average
of 3 pennies per signature. However, the SO member
who faked Hubbard's signature in 1978 is no longer
a Sea Org member, having blown decades ago.
Let's recap, shall we? If you buy a copy of the
book today on eBay for $4.40, you can find
many blown Sea Org members who will give
you a fake LRH signature for 3 cents. Hence,
you can have a "priceless collectible" signed
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" for only $4.43!
That's a whopping savings of $ 5,995.57! Order now!



.
I didn't know that do sea org members fake his signature or used to?
 

Chuck J.

Election Fraud Has Consequences
FUN F/Ning FACTS!

Copies of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" can
be purchased today on eBay for only $4.40.
LINK TO EBAY.

Also on EBAY today is another
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY"
that can be purchased for only $6,000.
LINK TO EBAY

Wow, it's in "like-new" condition!

And, best of all
". . .the book has never been fully opened!"



Wait! There is something even more OT and Theta!!!




CONCLUSION: You can buy WHAT IS SCN for just $4.40. However
if it's in a box and also signed by a Sea Org member (who is paid
three dollars per day to render counterfeit LRH autographs
on 100 copies of the book), that works out to an average
of 3 pennies per signature. However, the SO member
who faked Hubbard's signature in 1978 is no longer
a Sea Org member, having blown decades ago.
Let's recap, shall we? If you buy a copy of the
book today on eBay for $4.40, you can find
many blown Sea Org members who will give
you a fake LRH signature for 3 cents. Hence,
you can have a "priceless collectible" signed
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" for only $4.43!
That's a whopping savings of $ 5,995.57! Order now!



.
...and I must say THAT is a horrible attempt at Hubbard's signature. I can't believe it got passed / OK'd as a product. Flunk on the forger and the forgers senior.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
I didn't know that so sea org members fake his signature or used to?
.

Others will know far more than I about the DOCC (Department of Covert Counterfeits) that faked Hubbard's signature and also pretended to compose and sign LRH response letters to adoring Scientologists who worshipped Ron's every utterance and divine "scripture".

It's kinda funny actually that there was a super-secret "Sea Org #1 Line" where loyal SO staff "fair gamed" trusting parishioners--by pretending to be Ron with a fake signed letter on Ron's personal stationery. I say fair game because it was "tricking and lying", per the policy, right?

One of the cringier things that ex-culties know is how ELATED & EUPHORIC parishioners used to get when receiving "personal letters from Ron"! It was a miraculous religious event comparable to ecstatic visions and/or visitations--like devout Christians obnosing Jesus on toast.

A TRULY SACRED EVENT!

THE RAPTURE!


.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

TECH TRIVIA: David Miscavige is the most well-known Scientologist who was "fully hatted", "star-rated" and "drilled to a pass" on faking Hubbard's signature, which came in very handy on contracts, assignments of assets and posthumous executions of wills.

From what I have heard, there was an entire top secret org board "unit" where Sea Org members were trained to counterfeit, draft and sign "Letters From Ron". This has to be one of the top super-stupid things in Scientology!

But there may be something even stupider than that. When Hubbard died rose above this DB slave planet and traveled to a far more OT location in deep space, all the Sea Org members posted full time in the Ministry of Counterfeit Signatures would have been fired, no?

I imagine at that point they all wrote fake LRH letters to each other notifying everyone of of their termination and reposting.

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
That signature looks awfully sloppy and/or counterfeit. Or maybe Ron signed the book after his first stroke or while he was on a drug bender.
.
Very possible!

We also have to seriously consider the possibility that Ron (the being) signed it post mortem while en route to Target II. As everyone knows traversing intergalactic space can get bumpy at times because the psychs are out there also---in space ships, trying to shoot down big beings.

We perhaps should also consider the scenario where the Sea Org member that signed that particular book was 4 year old child* at the bottom of a dark chain locker. It's hard to see in the dark and besides they had only completed the "HOW TO PRINT" checksheet, not the "HOW TO WRITE CURSIVE" course.


*
4 year old child: L. Ron Hubbard terrorized a small child by having them thrown into a dark and cold chain locker, where they hysterically cried for extended periods of time. All that because the little kid chewed on a piece of paper with some typing or writing on it. Even though they could not read or have any conceivable way of knowing that the scrap of paper belonged to Dr. Hubbard or what it said, Ron determined that "the being knows all". Ergo, notwithstanding the fact that they could not read, their "knowingness" should still prevent them from committing "high crimes" that "sabotage" the "bridge to total freedom". I used to have a major problem with the Founder terrorizing toddlers, but then an OT gave me the r-factor that: "Ron said he was 'mankind's greatest friend', you should look up the word man. He never said anything about being kid-kinds greatest friend."

.
 

NotsoNutsoNow

Active member
Those books actually have a lot of uses. You could use them to jack up the Chevy in the yard when ya do some shade-tree mechanic work. You could use it as a door stop. You could use it as a weapon, say a burglar breaks in your house, you could bonk him on the head with one of those, ouch! Also, like Don Hubbard did you could use it to keep warm by burning it. If you have enough of them you could make a dog house for your pooch. If you can get a good deal on say a trailer load of them you could even use them to build a house for yourself. If you're say, gluing something and you need a weight to press down on it, there ya go, What Is $cientology is the answer. The practical uses are only limited by your imagination.
Perhaps you can start a thread titled, 'What the 'tech' can really do for you.'. LOL

Although you have submitted some great ideas, I still think TP in the outhouse remains number one. LOL

A couple of other suggestions:

How about ripping out all the pages of a book, scrunch them up, put them in a punching bag, plaster photos of El Con and Slappy all the outside of the bag and then kick and punch bag until your heart’s content.

Instead of a punching bag, if they wish, Mexicans can use a piñata.
 

NotsoNutsoNow

Active member
I didn't know that do sea org members fake his signature or used to?
L is Lawrence Wollersheim.

J is Jesse Prince (former second in charge of the Cult of $cientology).

‘J: Another thing in my mind now. Norman Starkey knows how to perfectly forge L Ron Hubbard $enior’s signature.

L: Norman Starkey knows how to perfectly forge... How do you know?

J: And, so does David Miscavige because he showed me. He wrote his signature. David Miscavige wrote his signature. David Miscavige could write his signature perfectly.

L: They actually could do a perfect forgery of L Ron Hubbard $enior’s signature?

J: Yeah.

L: Do you know if they ever forged L Ron Hubbard $enior’s signature?

J: He was showing me he could, David Miscavige did mention to me he had done it before.’

(Ref: FACTNet Introduction To The Jesse Prince Interviews (Scientology Critical Information Directory

/news/images/1998-interviews-prince.pdf).)
 

NotsoNutsoNow

Active member
FUN F/Ning FACTS!

Copies of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" can
be purchased today on eBay for only $4.40.
LINK TO EBAY.

Also on EBAY today is another
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY"
that can be purchased for only $6,000.
LINK TO EBAY

Wow, it's in "like-new" condition!

And, best of all
". . .the book has never been fully opened!"



Wait! There is something even more OT and Theta!!!




CONCLUSION: You can buy WHAT IS SCN for just $4.40. However
if it's in a box and also signed by a Sea Org member (who is paid
three dollars per day to render counterfeit LRH autographs
on 100 copies of the book), that works out to an average
of 3 pennies per signature. However, the SO member
who faked Hubbard's signature in 1978 is no longer
a Sea Org member, having blown decades ago.
Let's recap, shall we? If you buy a copy of the
book today on eBay for $4.40, you can find
many blown Sea Org members who will give
you a fake LRH signature for 3 cents. Hence,
you can have a "priceless collectible" signed
copy of "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY" for only $4.43!
That's a whopping savings of $ 5,995.57! Order now!



.
Perhaps all those cultists who purchased 'The Basics' and never opened them per '... the book has never been fully opened!' could try to sell them on eBay for $6000 a copy and recoup some of their money from their association with the cult.

Yeah, and pigs may fly!!!!
 

Karakorum

Well-known member
FLAG ORDER 2722:

"A Sea Org member is expected to be able to do any duty assigned.
This means trained or not, hatted or not."



Now, the definition from Thesaurus.plus - Online Thesaurus Dictionary of the English language:



"Lacking expert skill" aka "untrained and not properly hatted". Hence in FO2722. Hubbard is telling Sea Org members to be dilettantes.


Ron, can you please stop being off-source?!
 

NotsoNutsoNow

Active member
.

TECH TRIVIA: David Miscavige is the most well-known Scientologist who was "fully hatted", "star-rated" and "drilled to a pass" on faking Hubbard's signature, which came in very handy on contracts, assignments of assets and posthumous executions of wills.

From what I have heard, there was an entire top secret org board "unit" where Sea Org members were trained to counterfeit, draft and sign "Letters From Ron". This has to be one of the top super-stupid things in Scientology!

But there may be something even stupider than that. When Hubbard died rose above this DB slave planet and traveled to a far more OT location in deep space, all the Sea Org members posted full time in the Ministry of Counterfeit Signatures would have been fired, no?

I imagine at that point they all wrote fake LRH letters to each other notifying everyone of of their termination and reposting.

.
And, that was one of the ways David Judas Miscavige rose to the top.
 

Chuck J.

Election Fraud Has Consequences
Perhaps you can start a thread titled, 'What the 'tech' can really do for you.'. LOL

Although you have submitted some great ideas, I still think TP in the outhouse remains number one. LOL

A couple of other suggestions:

How about ripping out all the pages of a book, scrunch them up, put them in a punching bag, plaster photos of El Con and Slappy all the outside of the bag and then kick and punch bag until your heart’s content.

Instead of a punching bag, if they wish, Mexicans can use a piñata.
Several years ago (before I dropped the nuke from orbit) and was still getting $cientology promo I had the idea to instead of trying to get the cult to STOP sending me promo junkmail, to increase the amount as much as possible. Idea being to make paper-crete out of it. Paper-crete is a cement / shredded paper mixture that believe it or not has insulating and fireproofing qualities to it. I wanted to get so much cult promo that I had enough paper to build a cabin on some land. It's do-able as far I'm concerned. And it seems like the highest and best use of that paper (trees that were murdered) to build something constructive with it. I'm totally serious, you can find info on paper-crete online. So, if someone is getting a lot of cult promo, take lemons and make lemonade.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
Of course $cientology would say that. They're the CNN of "religions." Not noted for their accuracy or truthfulness.....or they'd say something like 5,000 OT's but they have to be REAL OT's.
.

Exactly! LOL.

There are so many scenarios like that, where the cult "alter-ises" (lies about) the precise meanings and exact definitions of words.

example:
BEFORE: "We promise to release (name of magical upper OT level) when all orgs have gone the size of Old St. Hill."
AFTER: "Oh that's amazing that all orgs have gone the size of Old St. Hill, but of course what we really meant was when they all have to become Ideal Orgs. Then, no problem we promise to release (name of magical upper OT level)."

example:
BEFORE: "When you go Clear you will have perfect memory, never get sick and always be happy!"
AFTER: "Wow, congratulations on going Clear! Of course your memory is bad, you're chronically ill and always depressed. Obviously that's because you are only Clear on the 1st dynamic. When you are OT VIII then you'll be a real Clear!"

example:
"Wow, congratulations on going OT VIII! Of course you didn't get any of the magical super-powers yet. Obviously that's because you are only OT on the 1st dynamic. In order to become a real OT VIII you have to first do OT XV. But we can't release that level until we first have produced 5000 OTs who have magical super-powers..."

.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

SCIENTOLOGY PARADOX #397:
The 'Clear The Planet' Paradox

- - In order to save mankind, we must first "Clear The Planet".

- - In order to "Clear The Planet" we must first become OTs with super-human powers.

- - In order to become OTs with super-human powers, we must first do OT XV.

- - In order to do OT XV, it must first be released.

- - In order for OT XV to be released, we must first make the planet ideal.

- - In order to make the planet ideal, we must first Clear the Planet.

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
And, that was one of the ways David Judas Miscavige rose to the top.
.
Perhaps that is no surprise.

Dr. Hubbard r-factored us in scripture that in order for a being to rise to the top, they must be OT.

In order to be OT they must be able to first erase their bank.

In order to erase their bank, they must first be able to "perfectly duplicate" it.

In order to perfectly duplicate their bank, they must first pay for auditing.

In order to pay for auditing, they must first write a check that doesn't bounce.

In order to write a check that doesn't bounce, they must first be able to perfectly duplicate Ron's signature on one of Ron's bank accounts as well as sign policy letters that prohibit non-source beings from interfering with Ron's written orders.

Ergo, David Miscavige--the 2nd most OT being on this planet!

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

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A person does not need any Dianetic$ and $cientology whatsoever!
.


True!

However, there is one (1) lone exception:

A Scientologist needs Dianetics and Scientology

REASON: An imaginary problem requires an imaginary tech to find, cure & erase it.

EXAMPLES: Pre-natal Engrams, 75m year old BTs, Quadrillion year old Implants, et al.

.
 
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Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!
Being the autistic type that I am, I had to look it up.

Why 9 feet? Because that was probably as deep as a dropped bomb was likely to penetrate.

Why was penetration desirable? Because a bomb that detonated below ground would transmit MUCH more pressure to collapse a deep-buried bunker than an airburst would.


"The yield required of a nuclear weapon to destroy a hard and deeply buried target is reduced by a factor of 15 to 25 by enhanced ground-shock coupling if the weapon is detonated a few meters below the surface.”

I also notice Hubbard's tendency to mock anything he didn't understand.
 
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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!….In 1947 it was very easy to run an engram. Even in early 1950 it was still fairly easy to run an engram, but it was a little harder. By the end of ’50 it was getting difficult to run engrams. In 1951 we had to beef up our processes like mad in order to run an engram cleanly. By 1952 we were beginning to run into nothing but whole track. 1953, we just had to look for other processes than engram running. And we had to look hard, and we looked into exteriorization. In ’54, in ’55 and in ’56 we have actually been researching further and further, into more and more powerful techniques. Why? People haven’t changed, have they? Not at all. We even see a difference of techniques which, run two or three years ago, don’t work very well today. This fascinating panorama has just unfolded before my view as a distinct possibility. And it may or may not be true, but it is certainly a distinct possibility, and there is a coordination here between the amount of radiation in the atmosphere and the difficulty of auditing a preclear.” -L. Ron Hubbard, November 8, 1956

Did Ron write that? Or his brother Don? :unsure:
 

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
.

SCIENTOLOGY PARADOX #397:
The 'Clear The Planet' Paradox

- - In order to save mankind, we must first "Clear The Planet".

- - In order to "Clear The Planet" we must first become OTs with super-human powers.

- - In order to become OTs with super-human powers, we must first do OT XV.

- - In order to do OT XV, it must first be released.

- - In order for OT XV to be released, we must first make the planet ideal.

- - In order to make the planet ideal, we must first Clear the Planet.

.
The Scientology Paradox I find craziest and one you've probably addressed multiple times during this thread is that the ability gained for Grade 0 is: “the ability to communicate freely with anyone on any subject.”

But if you actually use that ability as a Scientologist there is a great chance you'll end up in serious trouble, eventually getting declared an SP.
What exactly is the point of paying good money to acquire an ability that you're not allowed to use? :unsure:

Not only is it prohibited to communicate freely with anyone on any subject but also it's prohibited to think freely on any subject.

Thinking the wrong thoughts as a Sea Org member can get you RPF'ed if they come up in a sec check. Especially if you think of any unkind thoughts about David Miscavige.
 
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