TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Never got the Scientology Passport .....

Thought it was pretty hokey when it came out....
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Yeah, me too. Took one look and thought: "No way! Super-Hokey!"

But not hokey enough, apparently, since i didn't immediately pack up and leave.

It was hokey because Scientology itself is hokey!

Okay everyone - - -Sing along!
You put your meter leads in
You put your "in session" sign out
You then pick up the soup cans
And you shake 'em all about
You do the Hokey PC
And you churn your mind around
And that's what it's all about!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Veda

Well-known member
I love those pretentious poses. Did anyone notice he's telling us he's a loser? He's indiciating it by making a letter "L" with his left hand on his right cheek. He got confused. He doesn't know he's suppposed to make the "L" over his forehead.
Hubbard took a long series of pictures of himself, late at night, at St. Hill, when he had a buzz on after a few drinks. This was the only one he used of that series, and it was the one ubiquitously displayed. He put the others in a box in storage somewhere. After he died, Miscavige found the box and starting using the other photos.

 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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cross-posted from the thread
Are animals and insects thetans?
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But do insects have body thetans???
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LOL!

Scientific technology has not advanced yet to be able to make a determination about that.

However, the future looks optimistic that in the decades ahead, micro-engineering will advance to the point where very tiny nano-cans can be fabricated and ants can be audited, at which time we will discover if they have BTs.

There are other fascinating questions in the area that you are exploring as well! For example if a being goes Clear, Dr. Hubbard states that they are "...only clear on the 1st Dynamic". However, this suggests a provocative Scientology Koan.

IF AN ANT GOES CLEAR ARE THEY ACTUALLY
ONLY CLEAR ON THE 5TH DYNAMIC?




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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

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SCIENTOLOGY'S THREE (3) SCRIPTURAL POLICIES

REGARDING THE USE OF KNOWLEDGE REPORTS


1. Anyone observing an unethical or criminal act committed by another against
Scientology must write a Knowledge Report so that the guilty party can be
declared SP and promptly destroyed.
2. Anyone failing to write a Knowledge Report on an unethical or criminal act
committed by another against Scientology must likewise be declared SP and
promptly destroyed.
3. Anyone writing a Knowledge Report on an unethical or criminal act committed
by Scientology, Dr. Hubbard and/or Minister Miscavige against another must also
be declared SP and promptly destroyed.
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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The Sea Org view on those who post in this forum.

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LOL

In case anyone is not familiar with Scientologists' magical technology to "shatter" and "spin in" SPs, that meme above uses an actual quote ("What are your crimes? Spit them out!") of what Hubbard's goon squad chants and barks when they are trying to "cave in" anyone who dares to criticize or even disagree with Ron's infallible pronouncements.

Here's the infamous proof captured forever on film when the "church" sent forth three (3) babbling, command-spewing idiots to overwhelm and "destroy utterly" Mark Bunker who simply showed up at one of their public outdoor events.

All three unload in tandem with a blinding array of oral amulets (auditing commands) which the deputized OSA goonies fully expect will stop the SP in his tracks and thus ward off evil!

It's one of the stupidest moments in Scientology's 72 year history when all three of the standard goonies simultaneously erupted with shouted demands, commands & reprimands. Prepare for a real treat if you've never seen true-believing Scientologists go into tone 40 action—in what can best be described as:

FANATICAL CULT MEMBERS AFFLICTED WITH BOTH
GLOSSALALIA AND TOURETTE SYNDROME


(begin at minute 2)

Strangely, the SP did not cave in and leave.

Probably because the goonies didn't apply Ron's tech exactly the right way.

Because the tech always works. Even when it doesn't work. Use plenty of clay and send in your wins!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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But did you ever really stop for a brief moment to wonder WHY Scientologists think their magical auditing "commands" are capable of protecting them from the evil of SPs?

It seems moronic, but they actually shout magical commands that Ron taught them, fully expecting for the evil SP to introvert, spin in, lose their power and run away (if not die). Think "witches final scene" in the Wizard of Oz when a bucket of water is tossed on her.

Historically there are countless numbers of amulets and talismans that primitive tribes superstitiously believed would keep away the evil spirits, ghosts and vampires—such as the crucifix, holy water, horseshoes, hand signals, good luck charms, et al.

aqua sancta ("holy water")

If you ask upper level Scientology OTs, they can explain further how their modern science boasts the chanting of magic incantations to ward off evil. If you don't understand what they tell you, they are very likely to begin screaming "What are your MU's? Spit them out!"

ps: For more on Scientologists' talisman tech, see: Apotropaic magic



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Bill

Well-known member
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But did you ever really stop for a brief moment to wonder WHY Scientologists think their magical auditing "commands" are capable of protecting them from the evil of SPs?

It seems moronic, but they actually shout magical commands that Ron taught them, fully expecting for the evil SP to introvert, spin in, lose their power and run away (if not die). Think "witches final scene" in the Wizard of Oz when a bucket of water is tossed on her.

Historically there are countless numbers of amulets and talismans that primitive tribes superstitiously believed would keep away the evil spirits, ghosts and vampires—such as the crucifix, holy water, horseshoes, hand signals, good luck charms, et al.

aqua sancta ("holy water")

If you ask upper level Scientology OTs, they can explain further how their modern science boasts the chanting of magic incantations to ward off evil. If you don't understand what they tell you, they are very likely to begin screaming "What are your MU's? Spit them out!"

ps: For more on Scientologists' talisman tech, see: Apotropaic magic
LOL!
Even when I was on staff at AOLA, I thought this whole Scientology magical thinking was totally stupid. Instead of correctly defining the problem and figuring out the correct solution, Scientologists would chant the "correct" magical phrases. After all, Ron says so.

One time the income was very low, so the executives figured out the "correct" handing: Money processing the whole staff. That's stupid enough, but the way they did it was especially stupid.

They got a couple of thousand dollars in cash, called all the staff together in one room, and threw the bills in the air. The staff threw the money around for awhile... :thewave:
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Then they locked the doors and wouldn't let anyone leave until they had accounted for every single dollar. :duh: :hysterical:

Needless to say, the income didn't go up.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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One time the income was very low, so the executives figured out the "correct" handing: Money processing the whole staff. That's stupid enough, but the way they did it was especially stupid. They got a couple of thousand dollars in cash, called all the staff together in one room, and threw the bills in the air. The staff threw the money around for awhile...Then they locked the doors and wouldn't let anyone leave until they had accounted for every single dollar. :duh: :hysterical: Needless to say, the income didn't go up.

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Did they actually LOCK the doors? LOL!

That "Money Process" not only works really well on staff members, it's the bomb on paying PCs too.

For any "resistive" public PC who quite greedily wants to cling onto his precious MEST dollars, the org can run them on the process with miraculous results! (see latest completion below):

* * * PC HAS FULL END PHENOMENA ON MONEY PROCESS * * *
After throwing money in the air, VVVGIs PC cognites that
"Wow! When you outflow money it always comes back to you!"
whereupon he promptly paid for his entire Bridge after staff
wildly applauded his cog without mentioning gravity.


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
...

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"There is a condition worse than blindness and
that is seeing something that isn't there."
—Thomas Hardy, author

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"There is a condition worse than seeing something
that isn't there and that is wasting decades and
and paying a cash fortune for magical OT
super-powers that are't there."

—Don Hubbard, former OT



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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"There is a condition worse than seeing something
that isn't there and that is wasting decades and
and paying a cash fortune for magical OT

super-powers that are't there."
-Don Hubbard
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"There is a condition worse than
paying a cash fortune
for magical OT super-powers that aren't there and
that is pretending & boasting to others that you
actually attained those miraculous OT powers."

-Don Hubbard



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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"There is a condition worse than paying a cash fortune
for magical OT super-powers that aren't there and
that is pretending & boasting to others that you
actually attained those miraculous OT powers."

-Don Hubbard
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"There is a condition worse than pretending
and boasting to others that you actually attained
those miraculous OT powers—and that is viciously
attacking, terrorizing, fair gaming & destroying
anyone who reveals your dirty little secret."

-Don Hubbard


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Pepin

Active member
LOL!
Even when I was on staff at AOLA, I thought this whole Scientology magical thinking was totally stupid. Instead of correctly defining the problem and figuring out the correct solution, Scientologists would chant the "correct" magical phrases. After all, Ron says so.

One time the income was very low, so the executives figured out the "correct" handing: Money processing the whole staff. That's stupid enough, but the way they did it was especially stupid.

They got a couple of thousand dollars in cash, called all the staff together in one room, and threw the bills in the air. The staff threw the money around for awhile... :thewave:
...
...
...
Then they locked the doors and wouldn't let anyone leave until they had accounted for every single dollar. :duh: :hysterical:

Needless to say, the income didn't go up.
I guess you can't really fake having money if one knows you can't actually have it.
 
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