TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

NOMINATED FOR THE HALL OF FAME
STUPIDEST MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY


The moment that any Scientologist was asked
a simple question about Hubbard's teachings and then
the Scientologist immediately lost all their case gain, lost
their TRs, lost their ability to confront, lost their ability
to recognize the source of problems and make them vanish,
lost their power to 'make things go right', lost their 'total cause
over life', lost their public relations tech, lost their 'total certainty',
lost their 'acceptable truth' and other rhetorical gimmicks, lost their
'fair game' surefire tactics of "tricking & lying" to their enemies, lost
their "ARC Triangle" tech, lost their senior policy to "Always answer
peoples questions!", lost their supernaturally magical miracle powers,
lost their grade zero "ability to talk to anyone about anything" and

lost their ability to "clear the planet" by publicly losing their mind.



THE TAKEAWAY
Scientologists quite love volcanos! They put pictures
of volcanos on the cover of all their best-selling books!
But they don't want to talk about volcanos. And don't
ask them why, because they will get angry. Very angry.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX A CRUEL CRAZY CULT
WITH A SADISTICALLY SANCTIMONIOUS SP?


a megalomaniacally misanthropic messianic
millionaire misfit with missed withholds!




MINISTER MISCAVIGE
minuscule maitreya 2.0
*

He's "ensuring the purity" of a cruelly avaricious 71
year old international hoax, con game & fraud.
He's ensuring the purity—of pure evil.




.

* maitreya - see linked list of "Maitreya Claimants" (the reincarnate Buddha) that included L. Ron Hubbard.


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Marko Ex

Active member

NOMINATED FOR THE HALL OF FAME
STUPIDEST MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY


The moment that any Scientologist was asked
a simple question about Hubbard's teachings and then
the Scientologist immediately lost all their case gain, lost
their TRs, lost their ability to confront, lost their ability
to recognize the source of problems and make them vanish,
lost their power to 'make things go right', lost their 'total cause
over life', lost their public relations tech, lost their 'total certainty',
lost their 'acceptable truth' and other rhetorical gimmicks, lost their
'fair game' surefire tactics of "tricking & lying" to their enemies, lost
their "ARC Triangle" tech, lost their senior policy to "Always answer
peoples questions!", lost their supernaturally magical miracle powers,
lost their grade zero "ability to talk to anyone about anything" and

lost their ability to "clear the planet" by publicly losing their mind.



THE TAKEAWAY
Scientologists quite love volcanos! They put pictures
of volcanos on the cover of all their best-selling books!
But they don't want to talk about volcanos. And don't
ask them why, because they will get angry. Very angry.

.
Fucking hilarious!
Dear Super Thetan Tommy Davis, we miss you! So serious, so "on-purpose", so uber-homo-novus!
I can't decide if you...or mommy Anne Archer... is the penultimate, arrogant scienbollocky asshat!
Communication, the universal cult-debunker!😂😂😂
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Imagine...that the quote above is projected on to the building in the middle of the grand opening...

😈😂😂😂
.
Hilarious idea! . Then what would the Ideal OTs from the Ideal Org do?!

ANSWER: If Scientology was humiliated by SPs projecting a truthful quote on their ideal building (instead of a lying Hubbard quote), management would immediately despatch dozens of ideal staff members out into the street with ladders, mops and buckets of soapy water. They would be tasked with "making it go right" to clear the projected "entheta quote" off their building. And, they would have exactly the same odds of success as they they do to clear the planet or even clear one individual.

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Chuck J.

Election Fraud Has Consequences
.

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX A CRUEL CRAZY CULT
WITH A SADISTICALLY SANCTIMONIOUS SP?


a megalomaniacally misanthropic messianic
millionaire misfit with missed withholds!




MINISTER MISCAVIGE
minuscule maitreya 2.0
*

He's "ensuring the purity" of a cruelly avaricious 71
year old international hoax, con game & fraud.
He's ensuring the purity—of pure evil.




.

* maitreya - see linked list of "Maitreya Claimants" (the reincarnate Buddha) that included L. Ron Hubbard.


.
minuscule maitreya 2.0 *

:):LOL::love::roflmao::hysterical::buzzin::clapping::thumbsup:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.


Aaron Smith-Levin
@GrowingupinSCN

Since the release of Mark Ultra VII e-meter in 2013, all scientologists who buy one have to sign a legal agreement. This is that legal agreement. The purpose is to make sure no one outside of scientology ever gets their hands on one of these meters.


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Wow a legal agreement!

The COS is very smart to create that binding security protection that guards against an e-meter falling into the enemy's hands. Senior Scn management knows full well that if the psychs ever get their hands on an e-meter, they'll reverse engineer it and figure out how it works!

Then, they'll start using it during their therapeutic sessions.

This is horrific because the psychs have never even done doll drills! Thus, they are going to be badly screwing up the cases of many preclears and thereby sabotaging their eternities.

However, they church won't have to deal with any of this subversive squirrel activity now that they have put in strict security measures. They did this before on the OT III materials, which is why nobody in the world today, except upper-level Scientologists in good standing, knows anything whatsoever about Xenu and the volcanos.

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Karen#1

Well-known member
This meter can be switched off by a kill switch from remote location when the member is not in good standing.

$5000 for the meter and it is dead.

Actually $10,000, members are forced to purchased 2 of them. One is a back up meter.
I think it was General Motors that did the research and discovery on how to stop a car ~~ nuke the engine ~~ from long distance, even from a satellite.
 
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Dotey OT

Dis-Membered
This meter can be switched off by a kill switch from remote location when the member is not in good standing.

$5000 for the meter and it is dead.

Actually $10,000, members are forced to purchased 2 of them. One is a back up meter.
I think it was General Motors that did the research and discovery on how to stop a car ~~ nuke the engine ~~ from long distance, even from a satellite.
I bought two, lucky enough to have sold one. Anyone here want one? Mark VIII. Real cheap. Trade for a cheap car.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
This meter can be switched off by a kill switch from remote location when the member is not in good standing.

$5000 for the meter and it is dead.

Actually $10,000, members are forced to purchased 2 of them. One is a back up meter.
I think it was General Motors that did the research and discovery on how to stop a car ~~ nuke the engine ~~ from long distance, even from a satellite.

This could be a huge revenue generator for the Church Of Scientology.

They could sell the kill switch alone for $25,000 to Sea Org members. Naturally, Sea Org members don't have that kind of cash, so they would simply sign an installment loan agreement with accruing interest.

It has been estimated that there are approximately 4000 S.O. members worldwide which would mean $100M windfall (plus interest) would be paid after they each blow. The kill switch is an oustanding investment for any Sea Org member because they need to plan and plot a covertly stealth escape that remains undetected--thus they can use the kill switch in session when they are being asked if they have any plans to blow.

CONCLUSION: Then when they return to the wog world and get a job they can begin making installment payments for their kill switch purchase. Ergo, church management makes an extra $100M (plus interest) and all Sea Org members attain "total freedom". Kill switches are the only game in the universe (of Scientology) where everyone wins!


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Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
In the lower half of the Tony Ortega blog today....this strange video was posted. 1 minute long.
Guys in Hazmad suits taking something off FREEWINDS


????


Here's a question:
Were they wearing hazmat suits because they were carrying hazardous materials?
Or were they wearing hazmat suits to prevent anyone from being able to identify who was carrying that object?
 

Lee #28

Well-known member
Perhaps it was Covid Suits they were wearing......and the suitcase was linen...bed sheets and towels... from 1 room.....that they were disposing of?

Or....could be one person going to the Airport.....and like HH suggests.....hiding their identity...

I'm sure Scientology would want to hide a Covid outbreak on the Freewinds....
 
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Karen#1

Well-known member
[QUOTE="HelluvaHoax!, . Kill switches are the only game in the universe (of Scientology) where everyone wins!
.
[/QUOTE]

It has been leaked that IAS regges have *threatened* use of the KILL SWITCH to OT 7s "on the level" who are not upgrading their IAS status with more $$$$$$$$$$$...

i.e. Pay up or your meter will be dead.
i.e. You are NOT in good standing if you are REFUSING to pay MORE !
 

Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
It has been leaked that IAS regges have *threatened* use of the KILL SWITCH to OT 7s "on the level" who are not upgrading their IAS status with more $$$$$$$$$$$...

i.e. Pay up or your meter will be dead.
i.e. You are NOT in good standing if you are REFUSING to pay MORE !
Some years ago, someone doing OT5 at Flag I think experienced something similar, where refusing to make big IAS contributions he found himself at a low priority on the NOTs auditor rotation, not getting much auditing time per day.

Flag could especially do that, because you were necessarily away from your business and paying $$$ for Flag accommodations, and the slower your auditing went, the more accommodations money Flag got.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
."Christian" Scientologist Joy Villa has donated at least $1,000,000 to the Church of Scientology to reach the level of Gold Meritorious... FULL STORY
.


In response to the wildly viral success of Jerry Seinfeld's Neflix series called "COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE", Joy Villa has just announced the debut of her own original podcast!

"CHRISTIANS IN CHURCHES GETTING COFFEE"


* * * SNEAK PREVIEW FROM EPISODE #1 * * *

Joy Villa hangs out at the Celebrity Center "Renaissance Restaurant" with her first guest. A waiter in a minister's costume refills both their coffee cups. Joy then extends her cup forward and clinks a toast with her unseen guest.

JOY VILLA
Wow, it's so cool to hang out with you!
Ya know, everyone said I was crazy when
I told them I was going to try to book you
on my first podcast. But I told them you are a
smart dude and you'd know that you could
really boost your celeb visibility and get
a lot of hits on your Facebook, Instagram,
YouTube, Spotify & Instagram accounts!
So, welcome to my Ideal Church for virally
trending Ideal Christian celebrities!

THE POPE
Thank you for inviting me.

JOY VILLA
What do you think about our newly remodeled
"Renaissance" restaurant here where we are
just 2 Christians enjoying coffee together?

THE POPE
Well, I guess it's okay. But all these
Renaissance paintings on the walls--they're
all like total fakes! What's up with that?

JOY VILLA
Oh, well, we can't compete with the Vatican!
Holy hell, as a Christian I am just imagining all the cool
cars and mansions you could buy if you just listed
one of those original Michaelangelos on Ebay!

THE POPE
That whole thing about you claiming you're
a Christian is actually why I agreed to do
your show. This is a Church of Scientology,
so how exactly is it that you're a Christian?

JOY VILLA
Dude! Didn't you notice that all the waiters and
busboys are wearing clerical collars and crosses?

THE POPE
What you are saying is manifestly untrue.
You don't practice Christianity in Scientology.
You don't even believe in the Bible or
anything even remotely Christian.

JOY VILLA
Are you serious? Anyone can go to my
Facebook page and see me posing with a
huge grin next to a Christmas tree!

THE POPE
(clicks "play" on his iPhone and we hear Hubbard's voice)
"The man on the cross. There was no Christ! The Roman
Catholic Church, through watching the dramatizations
of people picked up some little fragments of R6."

So! Scientologists think Jesus is just a dub-in for DBs?
Christ was an implant?! How is that Christian?

JOY VILLA
I knew you were going to ask me that! LOL.
And with 1.2 billion Roman Catholics in the world,
I knew that lots of your fan base was going to tune
in to my new podcast today, so I wanted to do something
to assure every one of them that I am definitely a Christian.
Here let me show y'all—I just got a brand new
'Jesus Being Crucified On The Cross'
tattoo on my sexy trending ass!

.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Query: Does the Church of Scientology allow a Scientology Minister and Class 4 Auditor to also be a Christian and promote themselves as a "Christian Scientologist'?
/

Since you are asking that, I guess it might be safe to assume you were never a Scientologist.

ANSWER: The Church of Scientology does allow that. As long as the individual pretending to be a Christian-Scientologist:

1. produces new recruits for the cult that contribute money and/or time.​
2. does not get caught lying in any way that harms Scientology's gaslighting campaigns.​

For purposes of clarification, the cult "cult"ivates liars and endorses/celebrates any time a parishioner makes it go right to control homo sapiens by any means necessary. Hubbard defines public relations as the "prediction and control of human emotions and reactions". However, any Scientology fraudster who gets busted publicly is slammed with swift and ruthless justice punishments, based on senior management's senior policy:

THE SUPREME TEST OF A SCIENTOLOGIST IS TO MAKE IT GO RIGHT
(TO NOT GET CAUGHT DECEIVING OTHERS AND/OR SELF)

.
 

ISNOINews

Independent Scientology and Nation of Islam news
.




Since you are asking that, I guess it might be safe to assume you were never a Scientologist.

ANSWER: The Church of Scientology does allow that. As long as the individual pretending to be a Christian-Scientologist:

1. produces new recruits for the cult that contribute money and/or time.​
2. does not get caught lying in any way that harms Scientology's gaslighting campaigns.​

For purposes of clarification, the cult "cult"ivates liars and endorses/celebrates any time a parishioner makes it go right to control homo sapiens by any means necessary. Hubbard defines public relations as the "prediction and control of human emotions and reactions". However, any Scientology fraudster who gets busted publicly is slammed with swift and ruthless justice punishments, based on senior management's senior policy:

THE SUPREME TEST OF A SCIENTOLOGIST IS TO MAKE IT GO RIGHT
(TO NOT GET CAUGHT DECEIVING OTHERS AND/OR SELF)

.
I am am ex-Scientologist. I knew and assumed all of that. I should have asked a more precise question:

Does the Church of Scientology allow a Scientology Minister and Class 4 Auditor to also be a Christian and promote themselves as a "Christian Scientologist" when there is no Div. 6, PR or "raw public" purpose, and the only percipient witnesses are devoted, on-lines Scientologists?

/
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
(continuing topic): Scientologists who claim to be Christians


At the first ordination ceremony of the Church of Scientology Harlem, Rev. Phyllis Mack (right),
Executive Director of the Church, presents Verlene Cheeseboro with the eight-pointed Scientology cross,
representing the eight parts, or dynamics, of life through which each individual is striving to survive.


"Now, Reverend Cheeseboro--If any Christians you are trying to body route into the
org start to hesitate or ask you about volcanos or xenu, or the time Hubbard said
"...the man on the cross—there was no Christ"
you need to pull out the Bible from your dissemination kit and start loudly & emotionally
"testifying" about Jesus being your personal Lord & Savior. If that doesn't get them, just
start belting out the song "JESUS LOVES ME!" and get busy with your standard tambourine!"

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