Suicidal Ideation in the Sea Org

Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
Funny that we always talk about Scientology when it doesn't really exist. There has only been Hubbardology and that is the way it will always be.
 

Marko Ex

Active member
I'm not surprised. Whether the Purification Rundown does the specified function (removing toxic substances from the human body) or not, Eczema is an immune system issue with the skin per the medical literature and certainly not supposed to be addressed by the Purif. I would definitely expect the intense sweating regimen to exacerbate Eczema. (caveat: I am not a doctor).
No, the "purification rundown" does not do what it promises and is based on an ignorance of basic human biochemistry, lies, and faulty assumptions. See:
 

Karakorum

Broke ranks over 10 years ago, never looked back
This is why $cn. will never produce OT's. They can't have free beings being free.
If to its own amazement Scientology would ever produce an actual OT, they would surely have her put to death the next day.

We've seen it before many times, when the promise of an ideal future is used as a justification to commit horrors in order to get there.

Lenin and Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot and the killing fields of Cambodia, etc.
Yep, the old totalitarian mantra, made its way even to science fiction.



I had a conversation with Bernadette Klink (INCOMM S.O. lifer) one time. She said don't you want a world where we don't need police and there's an ethics officer on every corner, or words to that effect.

Had quite the opposite effect on me than she intended. I didn't respond to her comment.

I actually thought about it. I realized police would be needed for a long time into the future regardless. But the ethics officer statement chilled me to the bone and made me realized just how crazy $cientology is.

It's funny but I was in the S.O. at the time and had done tons of sec chx etc. - but I thought to myself I would fight to the death 10,000 times over to prevent the $cn. wetdream of world control.
You know, I had a symmetrical reaction from the other side of the mirror. At one point someone made a comment in the vein of: "Well, in the future everyone in California will be a Scientologist".
My first knee-jerk mental reaction was: "OMG no, not that. I don't want to handle KRs from every single sorry sob in the fucking state!"
 
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Karakorum

Broke ranks over 10 years ago, never looked back
When I was in the Sea Org at Saint Hill I was in a terrible state.

Prior to joining the SO I’d suffered from eczema (painful skin condition) for a few years. - Lots of inflamed itchy skin on my legs which I couldn’t help scratching whilst in bed at night, causing broken bleeding flesh. - Very painful.

They put me on the Purification Rundown, and by the time I Attested three weeks later, the eczema had spread basically all over my body. - Legs, arms, torso, a bit on my neck and face.

I suppose the extreme flare-up was caused by the sauna heat, malnourishment, lack of sleep.

Almost all through the night I’d be awake constantly itching and scratching. - About 6am I’d pass out from exhaustion. - At 7am everybody would start waking up for the day. - I’d wake up covered in blood all over my body. - My pyjamas would be stuck to my skin with dried blood. - I couldn’t just disrobe, the pjs would be fused to my skin. - I’d have to go into a private shower stall and ever so slowly, under the running water, slowly peel them off, taking off layers of skin in the process. One word, AGONY.

This went on for the whole year at Saint Hill, and continued when I was transferred to Celebrity Centre International, Hollywood.

Anyways, while at Saint Hill I was OBSESSED with going up the Bridge. - GOD, did I want OT8 (and the L- Rundowns) so F’N badly. - They’d handle my body problems, give me TOTAL FREEDOM (you know the spiel).

I had no money to buy my way up the Bridge so the only hope was for the Universe Corps to audit us up there. - I was savvy enough to realise that the Universe Corps route would take DECADES, if ever.

The prospect of waiting decades to suck on the nipple of INFINITY was intolerable to me. - I wanted to guzzle a gallon of Guk Bomb NOW, NOW, NOW !!!

I’d stand forlornly staring high up at the BRIDGE TO TOTAL FREEDOM, the trajectory of my gaze riveted to the top. - Truth Revealed, Orders of Magnitude, Character, Operating, Future. - Blood seeping into my freshly laundered uniform.

And all the while I was surrounded by rich OT Public, fresh out of Session, big smiles, pearly white teeth flashing, laughing and line-charging. - Mark Super VII E-Meters chained to their wrists, not a care in the world.

lNTOLERABLE

”Fuck Fuck Fuck.”

Some of the rich OTs had happy bubbly kids who were shooting up the Bridge at double time. - All paid for by Mommy and Daddy.

The thought “If only I had rich OT parents” sloshed around in my reactive mind.

The best solution, I concluded, was to kill myself and be reborn as an OTs youngling.

The suicidal ideation stayed with me the whole year.

I’ve spoken with other Sea Orgers who’ve entertained similar disturbing darkled images. - To kill themselves and be reborn into an OT family in order to expedite a smoother quicker run up THE BRIDGE.
Wow. Just wow.
 

onceuponatime

Well-known member
I had a conversation with Bernadette Klink (INCOMM S.O. lifer) one time. She said don't you want a world where we don't need police and there's an ethics officer on every corner, or words to that effect.

Had quite the opposite effect on me than she intended. I didn't respond to her comment.

I actually thought about it. I realized police would be needed for a long time into the future regardless. But the ethics officer statement chilled me to the bone and made me realized just how crazy $cientology is.

It's funny but I was in the S.O. at the time and had done tons of sec chx etc. - but I thought to myself I would fight to the death 10,000 times over to prevent the $cn. wetdream of world control.
You know, I had a symmetrical reaction from the other side of the mirror. At one point someone made a comment in the vein of: "Well, in the future everyone in California will be a Scientologist".
My first knee-jerk mental reaction was: "OMG no, not that. I don't want to handle KRs from every single sorry sob in the fucking state!"
I had something similar. Someone was talking about how great it would be once the Sea Org was running everything. The more I thought about it the more I hated the idea.
 

PirateAndBum

Administrator
Staff member
I had something similar. Someone was talking about how great it would be once the Sea Org was running everything. The more I thought about it the more I hated the idea.
Gee why? Just think how exciting it would be. You'd get to track 80 different personal statistics which you graph and write conditions formulas for each and turn in a comprehensive report every Thursday before 2pm not to mention compliance reports from all the myriad of insanely ingenious projects concocted by many levels of seniors above you on the planetary org board. Your life will be richly filled to the brim with beautiful mind-numbing admin. Ah, relish in the thought of it! Hip hip hooray!!!
 
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