Something’s up with the ex-SO of Freezone Scientology.

Soho_Nono

New member
Okay, so, long time lurker, never poster. I’m an ex-Church member myself, but it was a very brief involvement. Just my 7-ish months in the Church in 2018 and 2019 were hellish enough for me to feel like I’ve been mentally branded for life. I’m VERY resentful, and frankly bewildered by how flippin’ STRONG this sh** is. I feel like I’ll never NOT think in Scientology. I was at the org everyday with few exceptions, even if just for a few minutes but usually many hours during this time. I got really suckered in, made lots of friends bc I was unattached…y’know, as you do.

Anyways I’ve been very cautious about not revealing anything or really speaking out that much beyond DMs with a couple of other exes I know and an odd post here or there on [other places]— I don’t think I have to tell you why, I’m relatively confident you can infer. Anyways, it being still in my heart and in my head, unwavering to this moment, I began to long for it…which I know I shouldn’t do because I KNOW all the horrors now, I’ve seen teasers of it with my very eyes. I even signed a certain kinda document (would rather not get into details for the same reason yinz wore Guy Fawkes masks at protests). Anywhooo, this pining lead to me looking, with great caution, into the “Freezone” Scientologists/squirrels. I…don’t know what to say…partially, because…again: identifiable information (and I know people have been doxed on ESMB and probs here before) but also because: WOW! What in the Lord’s Good Name is happening with ex-SO in the Freezone? Half of them are following an Aryan Brotherhood guy claiming to be LRH? And the others are…well…zealous off their rockers. I’ve heard accusations of weird child abuse/grooming stuff happening with the ‘Independent Church of Scientology’ guys, I’ve heard that they’ve been going after people because they want to get exclusive rights to the name “Independent Scientology”…I hear S.O. auditors are sleeping with PCs.

I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something. If anyone here has concrete evidence that these guys are doing the bad things I’ve seen threads about I’m all ears…but Scientology for me was an addiction and I need some methadone (heh heh) so I don’t go back into the Church. I’ve been watching the Freezone for a hot minute now. Plz help me, I'm very lost. Much appreciated xx ~~
 

ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something.
I suggest don't get involved. Move on with your life.
If anyone here has concrete evidence that these guys are doing the bad things I’ve seen threads about I’m all ears…
Don't fixate on this. Find another hobby and don't worry about it. My two cents.

The COS (tiny) and independent field (more tiny) are not long for this world. Both circling the drain.

Miscavige has been served a subpoena . . . most orgs are boarded up and empty . . . much more,
if you'll just google.
 
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Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something. If anyone here has concrete evidence that these guys are doing the bad things I’ve seen threads about I’m all ears…but Scientology for me was an addiction and I need some methadone (heh heh) so I don’t go back into the Church.
It's best to just stop, "cold turkey".

I don't think it's a good idea for you to get involved with free zoners, based on what you're saying.

Go get involved in some other activities. Join the Rotary Club. Join a bowling league. Take some classes at your local community college, study art or welding, or whatever you might find interesting .

Take a ballroom dancing class. Start jamming with a band.

ANYTHING but Scientology.
 
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Karakorum

Broke ranks over 10 years ago, never looked back
<snip>I’m VERY resentful, and frankly bewildered by how flippin’ STRONG this sh** is. I feel like I’ll never NOT think in Scientology. <snip>
It'll pass.

I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something.
(...) Plz help me, I'm very lost. Much appreciated xx ~~
Well, I'm not sure how serious was it for you. Maybe you could take up some project of passion - restoring an old steam engine, helping your party of choice run a campaign, paining an oil painting - whatever rocks your boat. I personally suggest adopting a kitten from your local shelter.

If it is relaly bothering you and really feels like an actual addition, I would suggest seeing a mental health professional. I'm not being sarcastic or flippant now. There's no shame seeking professional help, just like going to a doctor. If you feel ill, go see a doctor.
 

The Oracle

Not the same Oracle from a decade ago
Okay, so, long time lurker, never poster. I’m an ex-Church member myself, but it was a very brief involvement. Just my 7-ish months in the Church in 2018 and 2019 were hellish enough for me to feel like I’ve been mentally branded for life. I’m VERY resentful, and frankly bewildered by how flippin’ STRONG this sh** is. I feel like I’ll never NOT think in Scientology. I was at the org everyday with few exceptions, even if just for a few minutes but usually many hours during this time. I got really suckered in, made lots of friends bc I was unattached…y’know, as you do.

Anyways I’ve been very cautious about not revealing anything or really speaking out that much beyond DMs with a couple of other exes I know and an odd post here or there on [other places]— I don’t think I have to tell you why, I’m relatively confident you can infer. Anyways, it being still in my heart and in my head, unwavering to this moment, I began to long for it…which I know I shouldn’t do because I KNOW all the horrors now, I’ve seen teasers of it with my very eyes. I even signed a certain kinda document (would rather not get into details for the same reason yinz wore Guy Fawkes masks at protests). Anywhooo, this pining lead to me looking, with great caution, into the “Freezone” Scientologists/squirrels. I…don’t know what to say…partially, because…again: identifiable information (and I know people have been doxed on ESMB and probs here before) but also because: WOW! What in the Lord’s Good Name is happening with ex-SO in the Freezone? Half of them are following an Aryan Brotherhood guy claiming to be LRH? And the others are…well…zealous off their rockers. I’ve heard accusations of weird child abuse/grooming stuff happening with the ‘Independent Church of Scientology’ guys, I’ve heard that they’ve been going after people because they want to get exclusive rights to the name “Independent Scientology”…I hear S.O. auditors are sleeping with PCs.

I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something. If anyone here has concrete evidence that these guys are doing the bad things I’ve seen threads about I’m all ears…but Scientology for me was an addiction and I need some methadone (heh heh) so I don’t go back into the Church. I’ve been watching the Freezone for a hot minute now. Plz help me, I'm very lost. Much appreciated xx ~~
Welcome!! :welcome2: :welcome2: :welcome2: :welcome2: :welcome2:

What a good post. It is very sincere and it reminds me of how fucked up I felt when I left Scientology.

You nailed it - Scientology becomes a "habit" and it takes a few months to change habits. Meanwhile...educate yourself on how Cults work.
It is perfectly normal to feel the way you do and let me assure you - you will heal.
It takes Time, Talk and Tears to recover from a cult. A suggestion - stay away from groups for now, you are programmed to ATTACH, JUSTIFY the attachment and BELIEVE and many ex Scientologists get into other cults very quickly because they have lost and given up their ability to think for themselves as well as habits formed of going to the cult location daily etc. It is uncomfortable but good advice as far as what I witnessed and experienced.



I believe, IMHO, the reason you are longing for Scientology is due to "Scientology Implants" - the programming (commands repeated over and over and over which become part of the subconscious mind) that was done to you unknowingly, to unduly influence you into BELIEVING you need Scientology. There are many different ways L Ron Hubbard's rhetorical writing enslaves the reader to believe Scientology is the end all and be all to self improvement and spiritual healing. Scientology is a very clever and insidious cult that uses all tactics of mind control and hypnosis....yes, I said hypnosis to enslave the members.

Can I make a suggestion to you? For you own well being, you may want to heed the advice of this woman shown in the video and then load up your laptop and library about cults, books written by Ex Scientology members and movies made about Scientology. Leah Remini has an awesome program on A&E.... Scientology; the Aftermath - WATCH IT!

I believe we all suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to the very nature of how the mind control is so deep and runs across your dynamics...so to speak. Scientology wraps itself around every aspect of your life and it ties and binds you to it.

Let me know if I can assist you in directing you to books, movies etc...but just let your inner being guide you and just start looking around at everything you can find on the subject of Scientology - in the EX ZONE, cults and mind control.

Here is a good report on Undue Influence: https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/UndueInfluence.pdf

Prior to Scientology I never thought I would ever be the victim of mind controlling cults.
My viewpoint today has changed.
 
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The Oracle

Not the same Oracle from a decade ago
I suggest don't get involved. Move on with your life.

Don't fixate on this. Find another hobby and don't worry about it. My two cents.

The COS (tiny) and independent field (more tiny) are not long for this world. Both circling the drain.

Miscavige has been served a subpoena . . . most orgs are boarded up and empty . . . much more,
if you'll just google.
I did not find that I was able to "forget about it" nor "to not fixate on it". That is not reality for most.
I fixated on it for many years after I left the cult.
I think by being here - on EXMBR - we all are still fixating on it and I don't think we will ever stop. It is part of our life and took us down a road we normally would have never gone down.

One has to get help because Scientology is mind control. You can get out of Scientology, but you can't get the Scientology out of you.
I suggest studying the concept of "de programming" for ex cult members.
That phrase was not real to me when I left. I did not think I was under mind control. I totally had my full awareness and every thing I did in Scientology was my choice. When I understood how Scientology really worked and why I was so hooked on it, only then did I realize my choices were manipulated and fraud was committed. I had been totally deceived.

For members leaving Scientology - they go from having every minute of everyday planned to a big empty void.
That is why the Free Zone exists.
It is, for many ex members, the 1st stage of leaving. A member wants what was advertised, propagandized and promised.
One must go down the rabbit hole and find out WHAT Scientology IS and what it is not.
One must want the truth.
 
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Dotey OT

We Finally Got a Puppy!
It took an impossible situation, sec check / FPRD abuse served with heavy-handed ethics for me to "wake up."

Who knows what is right and what is wrong, but it is great to wake up before it became ok with you to be abused any longer!!

And welcome!!!! :grouphug:
 
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Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
Okay, so, long time lurker, never poster. I’m an ex-Church member myself, but it was a very brief involvement. Just my 7-ish months in the Church in 2018 and 2019 were hellish enough for me to feel like I’ve been mentally branded for life. I’m VERY resentful, and frankly bewildered by how flippin’ STRONG this sh** is. I feel like I’ll never NOT think in Scientology. I was at the org everyday with few exceptions, even if just for a few minutes but usually many hours during this time. I got really suckered in, made lots of friends bc I was unattached…y’know, as you do.

Anyways I’ve been very cautious about not revealing anything or really speaking out that much beyond DMs with a couple of other exes I know and an odd post here or there on [other places]— I don’t think I have to tell you why, I’m relatively confident you can infer. Anyways, it being still in my heart and in my head, unwavering to this moment, I began to long for it…which I know I shouldn’t do because I KNOW all the horrors now, I’ve seen teasers of it with my very eyes. I even signed a certain kinda document (would rather not get into details for the same reason yinz wore Guy Fawkes masks at protests). Anywhooo, this pining lead to me looking, with great caution, into the “Freezone” Scientologists/squirrels. I…don’t know what to say…partially, because…again: identifiable information (and I know people have been doxed on ESMB and probs here before) but also because: WOW! What in the Lord’s Good Name is happening with ex-SO in the Freezone? Half of them are following an Aryan Brotherhood guy claiming to be LRH? And the others are…well…zealous off their rockers. I’ve heard accusations of weird child abuse/grooming stuff happening with the ‘Independent Church of Scientology’ guys, I’ve heard that they’ve been going after people because they want to get exclusive rights to the name “Independent Scientology”…I hear S.O. auditors are sleeping with PCs.

I’m pretty scared to get involved but I NEED something. If anyone here has concrete evidence that these guys are doing the bad things I’ve seen threads about I’m all ears…but Scientology for me was an addiction and I need some methadone (heh heh) so I don’t go back into the Church. I’ve been watching the Freezone for a hot minute now. Plz help me, I'm very lost. Much appreciated xx ~~
When I "left" Scientology way back in the 1980's, there was no such thing as an internet board such as this. I can remember when I first left and it was such a shock to my system but I don't remember much about the days afterward. I can guess that I was probably in a state of shock but doing a good job of not showing it. I do remember smoking a joint a few months later and totally enjoying it. I think I spent years afterwards walking around with a lot of Scientologist type attitudes and opinions without even me realizing it. I could tell you more but this isn't about me.

You are lucky in a way. This board is a great resource. I wish I had something like this way back when.

I notice in your post a bit of the same feelings and values that I used to have when I was in Scientology. You seem to have a desire for self-improvement. I was like that before, during, and some time after my involvement in Scientology. I am no longer like that to a large extent and I believe I am better for it. You might want to think about that. Apart from that, I have no advice for you. Life is tough and each one of us must find our own way. Soul searching is difficult but it must be done. But at least you have this board.
 
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