It's been a long time.

Karakorum said: (I don't know how to do the quoted phrases like you did.) But you said:

So lots of things prompted me to leave and that was a lifelong journey, not one single thing. But in the end the most important factors were the lack of justice, the financial and workplace abuse, sleep deprivation, forcing people to divorce their spouses and abort their kids, all the workplace accidents. At some point I just saw too much abuse and too much madness.

Oh my gosh! As a staff member at a class 4 org in the 1970s and a class 5 org in the early 2000s, I observed very bad behavior by some execs. Because I gave something to the GO myself one time, my senior threw me up against a wall and pinned me there while he screamed at me. I observed behavior like this as a staff member all the time. As a public person going to an SO org and advanced orgs, Flag and the ship, I observed more severe bad behavior of execs to other staff. The ED at my class 5 org said she was trained to deal with staff this way, hollering, screaming, belittling, evaluating, invalidating.

However, I can't imagine the atrocities you witnessed and experienced as an SO MAA as you pointed out in the quote above. Just horrible! Evil!

I am so, so glad you are not there anymore. And, there is no justice to be had for all of this abuse in the SO.

As far as getting back to my "pre-cult self?" Well, not exactly. 35 years of Scientology experiences are just part of who I am now. But I have resumed the spiritual journey I was pursuing before I bumped into Scientology. But what was refreshing was the freedom to finally be able to read any and all the books that were forbidden. I can meditate. I can do all of the "other practices" I want. I can look at forums like this without having to worry about having to report it to ethics that I accidentally bumped into it. It's just so hard to think I allowed myself to get that tangled up.

Yes, Phew! Thank God we are out of that!!
 
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Karakorum

Well-known member
Because I gave something to the GO myself one time, my senior threw me up against a wall and pinned me there while he screamed at me.
That sure sounds familiar, I've been on both ends of that equation more than once.

The ED at my class 5 org said she was trained to deal with staff this way, hollering, screaming, belittling, evaluating, invalidating.
We used to joke that the way they select people to the CMO is they line them up and tell them to shout at the top of their lungs. Then they pick the best howlers.

However, I can't imagine the atrocities you witnessed and experienced as an SO MAA as you pointed out in the quote above. Just horrible! Evil!
SO at WUS wasn't pretty, but still small potatoes in comparison to what happened at Gold or on the RPF. Or kids who were at the ranch and then got kicked out and disconnected. Nathan Rich case in point.


(I don't know how to do the quoted phrases like you did
You can do it like this:


Now nobody can say gators never help anyone ;)

Well, not exactly. 35 years of Scientology experiences are just part of who I am now.
Nah, I know that part. The easiest part is getting rid of the "official eschatological worldview" (thetans, invader forces and whatnot), that comes quick. Getting rid of the lingo takes some 1-2 years. Getting rid of the underlying base beliefs (tone scale, communication, uptone-value-judgements)... took me some 10 years.

Now the skills you learn, the manipulation and intimidation tactics? Can't get rid of that. I'm gonna take the "ethics toolbox" with me to my grave. Same lik the ex-KBG guys take the KGB skill-set to their graves.

But what was refreshing was the freedom to finally be able to read any and all the books that were forbidden. I can meditate. I can do all of the "other practices" I want. I can look at forums like this without having to worry about having to report it to ethics that I accidentally bumped into it
Oh heck yes. Live in your own flat. Study whatever the hell you feel like studying, without being told you are "off-purpose".
Having my own cat, cooking my own food. People don't enjoy all the "little things" they have, I swear to the gods.

I am so, so glad you are not there anymore. (...) Yes, Phew! Thank God we are out of that!!
Aye, I'm with you all the way here. (y)
 
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