Galileo
Member
I was a staff member at the Denver COS in the early 80s. I went to Big Blue to do Key to Life (what a cluster). While I was out there I noticed what I had only glimpsed when an SO person visited our local org - abuses of staff and covering up the problems of the COS when celebrities visited Big Blue. Priscilla Presley's niece did Key to Life and we were told NOT to talk to her in any way. I was like, "Fuck you," and greeted her so she wouldn't feel left out. She was twinned with an SO higher up.
The more I saw the more I realized that my intuition about the church was correct - it was an abusive organization. At that time I still believed in the "tech."
When I returned I was only back on staff long enough to look at it with fresh eyes, and I stopped going in. My wife at the time had moved out and started divorce proceedings - she was also on staff but the divorce had nothing to do with Scn. or disconnection. As I understand, she is "on lines" at the Nashville org. She was a body router!!! A really good person with great confront and a good heart, but still in the cult. Sad.
I connected with Survival Services in Denver and started doing my OT levels in the Freezone. It wasn't long before I realized that the "tech" was also something I intuitively understood to be incorrect in many ways.
About this time James Randi had a TV program designed to debunk pseudo-science and crazy beliefs like astrology. This was a big turning point in my life as my Mom had often said I was gullible, and I had to finally admit she was right all along. I spent the next few years becoming a skeptic and clearing the Scn. and other junk out of my head. Posting and reading on OCMB was a big part of that process.
I realized while doing the lower OT levels that the Incidents described were not as they seemed, although I thought Hubbard had actually stumbled on something valid. For those who are familiar, my intuition told me that Incident 2 was the "genetic dump," in which the sperm dumped its genetic material into the egg. Take a look at the steps of that incident and see the parallels between the steps and the process of reproduction and it will make a lot of sense.
Shortly after I left I took up Focusing, a self help technique. Between the use of Focusing and my rejection of Scientology, I decided to start my own research, based on a skeptical attitude and a scientific approach. I have been working on this research for the last 30 years, one reason I stopped posting on OCMB - I was too busy trying to find something as an alternative to Dianetics/Scientology, or simply a good self-help technique that one didn't have to pay for with exorbitant amounts of money. Not surprisingly my findings have nothing to do with spirituality, BTs, past lives, thetans or anything supernatural. None of these have ever come up during my research, although I have been open to any possibilities.
The only reason I am posting again is that I have taken a leave of absence from my work at a grocery store. I am 69 and have Type 2 diabetes and I thought it would be stupid to have that much contact with the public, so I am hunkering at home and now have some time on my hands.
I was lucky in that I was not born into the Sea Org, nor did I ever join it. When I went from the relative sanity of a local org to the insanity of Big Blue the contrasts woke me up. I was only "in" for 3 1/2 years, until 1984, a very short time compared to many others who lived in that indoctrination for so long.
I seldom think about the COS and I am not a big critic of Tom Cruise or anyone else still "in." That is not my role and they have to follow their own paths. I have thoroughly enjoyed Leah Remini's show about Scientology and have watched every single episode. I feel that Scientology will collapse under the weight of its cover-ups and abuses, but don't hold your breath - they have tons of money still and can survive a long time. The best anyone can do is defang the COS so that their reach is inhibited. I don't see the COS as a major player in any way in the future, but we shouldn't be complacent either. Complacency has got many of us into awful political situations with leaders who only govern for a small percentage of the people - in many countries.
In my experience one of the things that got me hooked into the cult was my suspension of disbelief. I often felt intuitively that certain things in the "tech" and policy were off, wrong, abusive or manipulative, but I didn't come to a full understanding until I left and started evaluating these things.
To me the worst manipulation was the word clearing "tech." It is actually helpful to look up words, but the way it is done in the COS gives you a little shot of euphoria that can influence you to believe what you are reading, when normally you would not. Much of Scn. does not make sense, but clearing words does not cause those things to make more sense, it just makes you feel it makes more sense.
That is my story - sorry it was a long post and thanks for reading.
Galileo/Squirrel
The more I saw the more I realized that my intuition about the church was correct - it was an abusive organization. At that time I still believed in the "tech."
When I returned I was only back on staff long enough to look at it with fresh eyes, and I stopped going in. My wife at the time had moved out and started divorce proceedings - she was also on staff but the divorce had nothing to do with Scn. or disconnection. As I understand, she is "on lines" at the Nashville org. She was a body router!!! A really good person with great confront and a good heart, but still in the cult. Sad.
I connected with Survival Services in Denver and started doing my OT levels in the Freezone. It wasn't long before I realized that the "tech" was also something I intuitively understood to be incorrect in many ways.
About this time James Randi had a TV program designed to debunk pseudo-science and crazy beliefs like astrology. This was a big turning point in my life as my Mom had often said I was gullible, and I had to finally admit she was right all along. I spent the next few years becoming a skeptic and clearing the Scn. and other junk out of my head. Posting and reading on OCMB was a big part of that process.
I realized while doing the lower OT levels that the Incidents described were not as they seemed, although I thought Hubbard had actually stumbled on something valid. For those who are familiar, my intuition told me that Incident 2 was the "genetic dump," in which the sperm dumped its genetic material into the egg. Take a look at the steps of that incident and see the parallels between the steps and the process of reproduction and it will make a lot of sense.
Shortly after I left I took up Focusing, a self help technique. Between the use of Focusing and my rejection of Scientology, I decided to start my own research, based on a skeptical attitude and a scientific approach. I have been working on this research for the last 30 years, one reason I stopped posting on OCMB - I was too busy trying to find something as an alternative to Dianetics/Scientology, or simply a good self-help technique that one didn't have to pay for with exorbitant amounts of money. Not surprisingly my findings have nothing to do with spirituality, BTs, past lives, thetans or anything supernatural. None of these have ever come up during my research, although I have been open to any possibilities.
The only reason I am posting again is that I have taken a leave of absence from my work at a grocery store. I am 69 and have Type 2 diabetes and I thought it would be stupid to have that much contact with the public, so I am hunkering at home and now have some time on my hands.
I was lucky in that I was not born into the Sea Org, nor did I ever join it. When I went from the relative sanity of a local org to the insanity of Big Blue the contrasts woke me up. I was only "in" for 3 1/2 years, until 1984, a very short time compared to many others who lived in that indoctrination for so long.
I seldom think about the COS and I am not a big critic of Tom Cruise or anyone else still "in." That is not my role and they have to follow their own paths. I have thoroughly enjoyed Leah Remini's show about Scientology and have watched every single episode. I feel that Scientology will collapse under the weight of its cover-ups and abuses, but don't hold your breath - they have tons of money still and can survive a long time. The best anyone can do is defang the COS so that their reach is inhibited. I don't see the COS as a major player in any way in the future, but we shouldn't be complacent either. Complacency has got many of us into awful political situations with leaders who only govern for a small percentage of the people - in many countries.
In my experience one of the things that got me hooked into the cult was my suspension of disbelief. I often felt intuitively that certain things in the "tech" and policy were off, wrong, abusive or manipulative, but I didn't come to a full understanding until I left and started evaluating these things.
To me the worst manipulation was the word clearing "tech." It is actually helpful to look up words, but the way it is done in the COS gives you a little shot of euphoria that can influence you to believe what you are reading, when normally you would not. Much of Scn. does not make sense, but clearing words does not cause those things to make more sense, it just makes you feel it makes more sense.
That is my story - sorry it was a long post and thanks for reading.
Galileo/Squirrel