Mest Up

New member
Hello everyone, I am a never-in, but with a sibling who joined about 30 years ago. I am a long-time lurker of ex-scientology sites. Sometimes I lurk obsessively, or sometimes I'll take a break and go away for awhile. I am very grateful to you in the "ex" community who shine light on the abuses of this cult.

Originally, I wanted to learn as much as I could about COS. Even before my sibling joined, I knew from personal contact (Oxford Capacity Test and a used copy of Dianatics) that COS was not for me. I didn't have to look far, even in the early 90s, to be alarmed. In those days, gentle prodding about COS were 'handled' with the "it's helped me out a lot", "that hasn't been my experience", and later "2 sides to every story", and similar fair roads / good weather responses. There was no elaboration on HOW it helped, and no one in my family takes it further. It is a very uncomfortable topic. To this day, my sibling does not discuss COS at all, and when asked, only with happiest generalities.

One exception, I brought up a notable news item involving bad news for the COS. My sibling turned into a stranger. I will never bring up COS again.

So... I lurk to try and understand my sibling's mindset and how they may react when faced with a shared experience. I try to understand the lingo, so I won't unknowingly use a trigger word that would get misinterpreted. (One that really lights my wick is the thought-stopping treatment of "reasonable".)

I try to understand what attracted them to it, and why they still are in. My sibling will probably stay in to the end. There were low-level completions listed at truthaboutscientology scattered through the years, but there's been a significant up-tick in the past 10. Only fairly recently has my sibling become Clear, even more recently completed OT III, and onwards... My stomach turns when I see my sibling named, or worse, pictured, in an official outlet. Online presence that isn't filtered or blocked is an underworld of conspiracy theories. This is not how we were brought up.

I read everything I can find on how best to be supportive and not get Disconnected. I try to keep up on (as best as anyone can tell) what's going on "inside".

There is also a 2nd gen 'born in', and I lurk on their behalf, and how I could support independent, or heck, critical thinking, or locate clues that there might be hope yet on breaking the chains. I feel helpless because I can't talk to them about it. So much for the 'universal solvent'.

Anyways, hello. I probably won't comment much, and mostly just continue to lurk. I'm glad this site exists and am grateful to those who share their stories.


Well-known member
Welcome. You'll probably find it difficult, if not impossible, to break someone away from scientology. Most of us who got out of it did so because we couldn't tolerate it any more. I think it would be rare to find someone who had left scientology because a non-scientologist had persuaded them to leave.

Those who stay are usually chasing the dream that there are OT powers at the top of the Bridge and also the dream that scientology is expanding so rapidly that it is taking over the world - "Clearing the planet". They are not allowed to listen to the truth that there are no "OT powers" and that scientology has shrunk so much that it only has about 20,000 members left. They are mind-controlled to ignore negative information such as this.
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Well-known member
Some people might actually be happy with scientology being a part of their life. Not everyone is under pressure or duress.

Lee #28

Well-known member
Welcome Mest UP!

The way you are handling it must be difficult....but at least it will keep your sibling at least somewhat available.

All the best to you!



Veteran of the Psychic Wars
One exception, I brought up a notable news item involving bad news for the COS. My sibling turned into a stranger. I will never bring up COS again.
Bringing up "bad news", otherwise known as "entheta", will result in your sibling being told to "handle or disconnect" from you.

Entheta is defined as any negative news or comment about Scientology, regardless of whether it may be true.

Your best bet is to maintain communication with your sibling, and be somebody sibling may turn to when things finally go sour.

Under no circumstances should you "loan" money to sibling for Scientology services, any more than you would loan money to a drug addict. You will never see it back.