David Miscavige Seeks $5 Billion in Federal Bailout Money for the Church of Scientology


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Sporting a new Donald Trump coiffure and 30 extra pounds from “shelter in place” binge eating while watching Netflix, Scientology leader David Miscavige announced today that he is asking the US Federal Government for $5 billion dollars in bailout money.

“As a business, Scientology has been hit hard by this planetary bullbait virus thing,” Miscavige declared. “The Orgs are emptier than Grant Cardone’s apartment buildings and Scientology has an astronomical cash burn rate. The cost of flying in fresh New Zealand lamb and Malaysian prawns for my dinner each night isn’t cheap.”


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Hilarious stuff!


Oat Tea Ate

I hope we can find out how much money Scientology bilks out of the government where they get free money as make their slaves work for beans and rice.


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Still laughing about that image. I keep thinking there could be a series of new-and-improved COB "mock ups"--wherein he attempts to re-invent himself so the public does not continue to revile & ridicule such a messianic religious savior!

Ergo, COB's never-ending search for a "winning valence"!

I'd hate to cover up that power hair, but I keep seeing Mankind's Greatest Serial Assaulter with a red baseball cap that has "MOGA" emblazoned on it.

Make OSA Great Again!

ps: (note on above photo): At first I was thinking that the hair should be, um--well, bigger! But then I suddenly fell in love with COB's severely compromised cranial elevation, reminding me of something from the book HISTORY OF inhuMAN.

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