D
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For the last few weeks, I've had to deal with some people around me with incredible anger issues. Those that get offended at minor mistakes (which were really their fault, anyway) and don't give a moment for reconciliation before doing something massively mean in order to "get even", those that fly off the handle with hugely aggressive threats and insults over deluded ideas of malicious intentions, those who scream and yell and then blame YOU for being angry when they're completely out of control. It happens in politics, it happens with religious fanatics, it happens at work, it happens when you're driving. Hell, it happens in a department store if you meander too much and suddenly the store clerk is giving you the evil eye.
Then something happened that made me self-reflect about my own anger issues. Someone who had bullied me as a teen passed away from illness, not even 60 years old.
I admit that as a kid, this girl had caused me so much misery, back then, I had wished she were dead. I had never liked her. She was arrogant, a boyfriend and friend stealer and a malicious gossip. Her last seven years, though, she had been married to a man who was Jehovah's Witness, so became one herself. She cut herself off from her children and grandchildren. She had serious liver and kidney troubles and only got worse until she passed away, alone, away from those she most dearly loved.
I wasn't angry, and felt ashamed to have ever wished she was dead. All I felt when I heard what happened was the deepest pity for her, and for her children and grandchildren. The only thing worse than drugs and alcohol was a cult, and the JW cult had taken the only things that really mattered to her away. So sad. :sad:
A few weeks before this, I realized that it is those who walked all over us, stomped us, demeaned, insulted, used and abused us, who later tell us they don't remember and how we shouldn't be angry. That's how all bullies operate, isn't it, and that's Scientology as well. They lie, con and do whatever they wish to get ahead at your expense, but when you say or do anything about it, you have "anger issues" and there's just more of the criticizing and bullying simply because they don't want repercussions for their actions. They want the free ride, and you're just making it difficult. So they get on their grand soap boxes and go on about how you should forget (all the bullying) and forgive (all the stealing and lying and misery they caused) and how you have to deal with your anger issues, lol.
The overt doth speak loudly. It's always the bullies and conartists who don't want anybody angry about it.
Still, there's a cycle to anger and unfortunately, it can spread and carry on in other areas. It also takes a lot of energy and just feels lousy to be angry. Whether justified or not, I had to admit to myself that I had anger issues.
Due to our tight original group growing up, members of the deceased woman's family made contact with me and we chatted a bit. One had understood about cults because of my work exposing Scientology and said to me that Jehovah's Witness had messed with the woman's head. I agreed, said it would mess with anyone's head. Then I contacted the kids, who I barely knew, bu they knew of me through association, anyway. I expressed my sympathies and told them that no matter what mistakes may have been made, your mother always loved you. I knew it was true, even though she'd cut herself off from those she'd loved most for criticizing JW. I also knew it was the one thing that would comfort them above anything else. Disconnection is a horrible thing. So is loneliness.
It was the right thing to say and appreciated.
Today I no longer have anger issues. Scientology betrayed me and stole my youth. I'll continue to expose it, but won't waste my mind or energy being angry about it. It's easy to be angry, but from now on, I'm taking the higher road.
Then something happened that made me self-reflect about my own anger issues. Someone who had bullied me as a teen passed away from illness, not even 60 years old.
I admit that as a kid, this girl had caused me so much misery, back then, I had wished she were dead. I had never liked her. She was arrogant, a boyfriend and friend stealer and a malicious gossip. Her last seven years, though, she had been married to a man who was Jehovah's Witness, so became one herself. She cut herself off from her children and grandchildren. She had serious liver and kidney troubles and only got worse until she passed away, alone, away from those she most dearly loved.
I wasn't angry, and felt ashamed to have ever wished she was dead. All I felt when I heard what happened was the deepest pity for her, and for her children and grandchildren. The only thing worse than drugs and alcohol was a cult, and the JW cult had taken the only things that really mattered to her away. So sad. :sad:
A few weeks before this, I realized that it is those who walked all over us, stomped us, demeaned, insulted, used and abused us, who later tell us they don't remember and how we shouldn't be angry. That's how all bullies operate, isn't it, and that's Scientology as well. They lie, con and do whatever they wish to get ahead at your expense, but when you say or do anything about it, you have "anger issues" and there's just more of the criticizing and bullying simply because they don't want repercussions for their actions. They want the free ride, and you're just making it difficult. So they get on their grand soap boxes and go on about how you should forget (all the bullying) and forgive (all the stealing and lying and misery they caused) and how you have to deal with your anger issues, lol.
The overt doth speak loudly. It's always the bullies and conartists who don't want anybody angry about it.Still, there's a cycle to anger and unfortunately, it can spread and carry on in other areas. It also takes a lot of energy and just feels lousy to be angry. Whether justified or not, I had to admit to myself that I had anger issues.
Due to our tight original group growing up, members of the deceased woman's family made contact with me and we chatted a bit. One had understood about cults because of my work exposing Scientology and said to me that Jehovah's Witness had messed with the woman's head. I agreed, said it would mess with anyone's head. Then I contacted the kids, who I barely knew, bu they knew of me through association, anyway. I expressed my sympathies and told them that no matter what mistakes may have been made, your mother always loved you. I knew it was true, even though she'd cut herself off from those she'd loved most for criticizing JW. I also knew it was the one thing that would comfort them above anything else. Disconnection is a horrible thing. So is loneliness.
It was the right thing to say and appreciated.
Today I no longer have anger issues. Scientology betrayed me and stole my youth. I'll continue to expose it, but won't waste my mind or energy being angry about it. It's easy to be angry, but from now on, I'm taking the higher road.
Mine wasn't nearly as obvious as their problem! 
She threw a fit for hours, making calls to me personally (though I never gave her my number), to my employer, to the client... hours of this. She went absolutely psycho. I tried to calm her down, but she shouted over me how she hated peas and carrots and I told her well, if you saw dumplings in the garbage, it was probably from my bowl (in this case, we have to eat the same food with the client or she doesn't eat). I can't eat that stuff, I told her, but that's me. Well, that was honest, but her veins were just popping purple on her neck with rage to hear that and the phone calls afterward went on and on until I blocked her. Ooops.
