SuperstarNeilC
Well-known member
When I was in the Sea Org at Saint Hill I was in a terrible state.
Prior to joining the SO I’d suffered from eczema (painful skin condition) for a few years. - Lots of inflamed itchy skin on my legs which I couldn’t help scratching whilst in bed at night, causing broken bleeding flesh. - Very painful.
They put me on the Purification Rundown, and by the time I Attested three weeks later, the eczema had spread basically all over my body. - Legs, arms, torso, a bit on my neck and face.
I suppose the extreme flare-up was caused by the sauna heat, malnourishment, lack of sleep.
Almost all through the night I’d be awake constantly itching and scratching. - About 6am I’d pass out from exhaustion. - At 7am everybody would start waking up for the day. - I’d wake up covered in blood all over my body. - My pyjamas would be stuck to my skin with dried blood. - I couldn’t just disrobe, the pjs would be fused to my skin. - I’d have to go into a private shower stall and ever so slowly, under the running water, slowly peel them off, taking off layers of skin in the process. One word, AGONY.
This went on for the whole year at Saint Hill, and continued when I was transferred to Celebrity Centre International, Hollywood.
Anyways, while at Saint Hill I was OBSESSED with going up the Bridge. - GOD, did I want OT8 (and the L- Rundowns) so F’N badly. - They’d handle my body problems, give me TOTAL FREEDOM (you know the spiel).
I had no money to buy my way up the Bridge so the only hope was for the Universe Corps to audit us up there. - I was savvy enough to realise that the Universe Corps route would take DECADES, if ever.
The prospect of waiting decades to suck on the nipple of INFINITY was intolerable to me. - I wanted to guzzle a gallon of Guk Bomb NOW, NOW, NOW !!!
I’d stand forlornly staring high up at the BRIDGE TO TOTAL FREEDOM, the trajectory of my gaze riveted to the top. - Truth Revealed, Orders of Magnitude, Character, Operating, Future. - Blood seeping into my freshly laundered uniform.
And all the while I was surrounded by rich OT Public, fresh out of Session, big smiles, pearly white teeth flashing, laughing and line-charging. - Mark Super VII E-Meters chained to their wrists, not a care in the world.
lNTOLERABLE
”Fuck Fuck Fuck.”
Some of the rich OTs had happy bubbly kids who were shooting up the Bridge at double time. - All paid for by Mommy and Daddy.
The thought “If only I had rich OT parents” sloshed around in my reactive mind.
The best solution, I concluded, was to kill myself and be reborn as an OTs youngling.
The suicidal ideation stayed with me the whole year.
I’ve spoken with other Sea Orgers who’ve entertained similar disturbing darkled images. - To kill themselves and be reborn into an OT family in order to expedite a smoother quicker run up THE BRIDGE.
Prior to joining the SO I’d suffered from eczema (painful skin condition) for a few years. - Lots of inflamed itchy skin on my legs which I couldn’t help scratching whilst in bed at night, causing broken bleeding flesh. - Very painful.
They put me on the Purification Rundown, and by the time I Attested three weeks later, the eczema had spread basically all over my body. - Legs, arms, torso, a bit on my neck and face.
I suppose the extreme flare-up was caused by the sauna heat, malnourishment, lack of sleep.
Almost all through the night I’d be awake constantly itching and scratching. - About 6am I’d pass out from exhaustion. - At 7am everybody would start waking up for the day. - I’d wake up covered in blood all over my body. - My pyjamas would be stuck to my skin with dried blood. - I couldn’t just disrobe, the pjs would be fused to my skin. - I’d have to go into a private shower stall and ever so slowly, under the running water, slowly peel them off, taking off layers of skin in the process. One word, AGONY.
This went on for the whole year at Saint Hill, and continued when I was transferred to Celebrity Centre International, Hollywood.
Anyways, while at Saint Hill I was OBSESSED with going up the Bridge. - GOD, did I want OT8 (and the L- Rundowns) so F’N badly. - They’d handle my body problems, give me TOTAL FREEDOM (you know the spiel).
I had no money to buy my way up the Bridge so the only hope was for the Universe Corps to audit us up there. - I was savvy enough to realise that the Universe Corps route would take DECADES, if ever.
The prospect of waiting decades to suck on the nipple of INFINITY was intolerable to me. - I wanted to guzzle a gallon of Guk Bomb NOW, NOW, NOW !!!
I’d stand forlornly staring high up at the BRIDGE TO TOTAL FREEDOM, the trajectory of my gaze riveted to the top. - Truth Revealed, Orders of Magnitude, Character, Operating, Future. - Blood seeping into my freshly laundered uniform.
And all the while I was surrounded by rich OT Public, fresh out of Session, big smiles, pearly white teeth flashing, laughing and line-charging. - Mark Super VII E-Meters chained to their wrists, not a care in the world.
lNTOLERABLE
”Fuck Fuck Fuck.”
Some of the rich OTs had happy bubbly kids who were shooting up the Bridge at double time. - All paid for by Mommy and Daddy.
The thought “If only I had rich OT parents” sloshed around in my reactive mind.
The best solution, I concluded, was to kill myself and be reborn as an OTs youngling.
The suicidal ideation stayed with me the whole year.
I’ve spoken with other Sea Orgers who’ve entertained similar disturbing darkled images. - To kill themselves and be reborn into an OT family in order to expedite a smoother quicker run up THE BRIDGE.
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